Censoring your stims.

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I've got a lot of little quirks to me, ticks, compulsions, etcetera, and I feel as though I have to censor myself around some people. Even my friends. It's stressful and makes interaction with loved ones difficult sometimes.

Does anyone else feel this? What should I do?

(P.S. I'm also confused about what may be considered a stim, or just a quirk.)

From my understanding a stim is sort of like a repetitive behavior you do...for instance tapping a pencil, or when I talk I apparently do a lot of hand movements(this is from others observations) or I pick up random objects and set them back down. In my case I am not even always aware I am doing these things its like they just happen and other people mention it.

But yeah maybe someone else can offer a better description...also unless its a stim that really bothers other people, I would not worry too much about censoring it, but from my understanding it is possible to maybe change stims into things that are less likely to bother others if some you have do.

I feel like this a lot. I work in an office and spend about 85% of my energy each day trying to act "normal" enough that my coworkers don't get freaked out.

My stims in public range from intricate hair-braiding rituals to bouncing up-and-down in place.

Neurotypicals seem to interpret the braiding as some sort of female insecurity signal and the bouncing as me having had way too much coffee that morning.

I do have to censor my more bizarre stims (rocking back and forth while I braid my hair and hum) in public but the ones above seem to be okay in public most of the time.

I censor the ones that involve a hand squeeze stress ball, and silly putty. Beyond that, it is mostly unconcious and it helps keep me focused and relaxed, so if I rock back and forth or constantly tap my foot, I am ok with that.

For me its mostly touching the back of the neck, stretching my left cheek towards my eye, pressing my hand against my left eye, sort of moving the skin upwards...I like wearing hoodies and fiddling with the cord of the hood, foot-tapping in social situations especially.

At work I sit on an office swivel chair, I will fold/cross my left leg underneath me with the right foot on the floor, almost like the buddha position except with one leg then pivot on the right foot to spin back and forth about 45 degrees each direction. I can spend a long time doing this. People have commented this is strange, but they can't see under the table so it is mostly hidden. My job can be stressful and I will end up doing it before I know it, I think it just helps me relax. I don't really try to consciously stop myself doing it but when I become aware of it I stop. The other thing Im not sure is stimming is when I get up suddenly and go to the window and press my hands and sometimes nose against it, i'm not really looking out of the window and had no intention of doing so, its like an unconscious movement, I just find myself looking out the window. I have had to wash it before where my hands have left marks. When people noticed this, I just say 'i feel like a caged animal today' and make a joke of it. I do tend to pace at home so I think it maybe similar to that.

Last edited by pete_dystopia on 17 Mar 2012, 4:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I censor myself when I'm around other people so I don't do it. When I'm reading I wiggle my fingers or when I'm listening to fast music I'll start dancing around by myself. Sometimes when I'm nervous I'll pick at my skin or pluck my eyebrows without noticing....I don't censor the picking though.

When I was a child, I used to do this thing where I put my hand to my mouth, then pointed out at other things. I'm not sure if it was a stim or more of a compulsion, really, but I had a very strong urge to do it. It was quickly squashed out of me after my mom yelled at me and embarrassed me over it very early on. I remember fighting against the urge, and feeling tense that I couldn't do it...

However, one thing that I know is a stim is the rocking back & forth, which I do actively censor in public. Most of my stims can either be considered normal (like pacing), or can't be done at the time anyway (like wriggling toes, which I can't do if I'm wearing closed-toed shoes.)

I want to hug you. I know how that feels so much.


What the, I do the exact same thing! When I get into my chair at the computer (at home, I don't have a job psshhh), I lift my left leg under, pivot on the right heel, and sit. Huh! c:

I've got some strange ones, now that I think about it. I will list them with descriptions, as I like to list things.

• First of all I rock back and forth, which I am currently doing. I just do it all the time. When I'm in bed, my feet do the rocking motion.
• I have a blinking compulsion too, one eye at a time, normally the right. I can't stop that one, so I just hide it instead.
• Playing with my ears. I take the top rim of my ear and smoosh it to a point with my thumb and forefinger and "swish" the skin back and forth between my fingers. It makes this "broooop broooop" sound that I really like for some reason.
And,
• Playing with my lower lip, which involves the thumb and the forefinger again, where I do a similar thing like with my ear but I put the pointed skin under my top teeth. For some reason, I always smell when I'm doing this. I dunno. It doesn't really smell like my breath, but I suppose it's a "me" smell that keeps me calm.

Probably best to censor obvious things like hand-flapping or rocking (unless you're in a rocking chair! ;^)) until you're alone.

The smaller things I wouldn't worry about, unless someone tells you it looks disgusting, or you _know_ it looks disgusting to other people, like picking your nose.

I like to tap on my bones in various spots like my collar bone and it freaks my wife out so I don't do it around her (except sometimes I forget). Other than that, mine are all innocent enough that they're fit for public consumption.

Oh my god come to think of it I do do that, but only in situations of severe excitement. But I'm almost always alone during those, because it deals with "fangirling" and I do not like to fangirl around people.

May I ask what "fangirling" is? I can see "fan" and "girl", but I don't get a verb out of those two elements. I could suppose that the mass screaming about the Beatles or Elvis when I was young would be an example, but that was always done among (usually tightly packed) people.

I'm on Tumblr where fandoms swarm, and I have appended on many new words to my vocabulary, often nonsensical, because of this.
It is the stereotype that a girl within a fandom is very eccentric and will often giggle, squeal and talk rapidly at/about anything appealing within that of which she is a fan of. So, there is the term "fangirl". On Tumblr, to do such actions as a "fangirl" would, would be "fangirling". It's just an easy and humorous way to sum up our reactions to things.

Just to show you how out of date I am, I'm not sure what Tumblr is, either! ;^) However, from the sound of it, and remembering the mass actions when I was a teen, such things as rocking and handflapping in connection with those activities probably wouldn't be noticed in public, either. ;^) Context is everything!

I keep the constant rubbing/squeezing/ shaking I use to do, pretty much hidden at work. Afterall, it is easy to hide rubber bands. I do stop if someone talks to me..
But it feels stressful after an hour or so, if I do NOT do it..
At home, it can be constant.

Sincerely,
Matthew