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Hello,

I've joined afew forums recently, mainly anxiety one's as i've been suffering from daily chest stabbing pains, burning, crushing feelings, aches in my shoulders and arms and neck etc. They've lasted the past 10 months or more. I quit cannabis (5.5 year habit) when I had my second panic attack, quit for 6 months then relapsed. In that time and since health anxiety has been a daily battle and often I feel i'm losing it.

I've seen 8 doctors and had various checks at hopsital after from a spate of panic attacks. I've been prescribed a beta blocker and anti depressant but i've not taken them yet (not entirely sure why, I seem pro-active in finding what could be the causes/issues/self diagnosing but never see the treatment through).

I understand this isn't the forum for it I just thought i'd explain the situation somewhat. So I obsess over my health, convinced every time I get a sharp stabbing chest pain (up to 30 times a day in various locations) that i'm going to have a heart attack. But there's other issues which have lasted far longer than this past year of anxiety induced fun.

Ever since I was a kid i've always been, shall we say, excitable. Men & my brother still live with my parents i'm 25 and he's 27. I think we both exhibit signs of autism. Easily excitable, quick to anger. pretty socially immature and awkward in our own ways. I notice my brother gets very excitable talking to himself, making noises, flapping his arms etc when in his own company. I'm quite the same although i'm ashamed to admite it. Overcome with rushes of excitement when in my own company and god knows what happens. I'll make weird noises or do weird flapping or over the top motions etc. I find it quite surreal that I do it. but the worst is swaying. I sit cross legged on the floor in my room every evening and sway. This is only in my own company (or my gf, she does it too sometimes). But I will sway all night long from the moment I sit down till I go to bed. Heck as a kid I used to lay on my hands and knees and sway from side to side in bed.

I've never really digressed this information to people before. more recently I have about the swaying, most people just ignore it. maybe they don't believe me. but 20+ years for hours a day? The weekends are the worst, i'll sway all day till my knees ache and my hips hurt etc. I often wondered if it was causing these chest pains/issues etc. I'm not too sure at this moment in time.

Ideally i'd like to stop doing it. When I visited the chiropractor (after getting no defininitive answers to my chest paisn at the hospital). She asked me to try and stop doing it, and for a while I did, but as with everything I never see things through to the finish. I'm fine to sart something, with an over the top sense of enthusiasm but I rarely finish things. I love routine and solitude. I love computer games too, my vice...well that and my hideously sugar fuelled diet.

I know that there's probably many alarm bells and causes from what i'm saying that makes me act somewhat obscurely. But I worry I won't be able to see a treatment through. I've tried radical diet changes, I enjoy them but then I regard it as unecessary effort or devise and excuse to stop doing it. I'm terrible at backing out, especially meeting with frineds. it has to be spontaneous otherwise given even an hour or 2 i'll convince myself not to go out and i'll sit at home pondering the what if's for hours but only really living out socializing in my head.

I suppose best course of action with my anxiety and weird hyperactive and often overthinking/worrying and depressive tendencies would be a change of diet, exercise, CBT and anti depressants. But I won't do it, I just put things off or avoid it entirely. I don't want to make people think it's futile to reply because being an anxious person I do enjoy the relief that people can provide by sharing their experiences and knowledge. I just hope I could see treatment through if/when I begin it. I suppose I just lack drive and determination and spend most of my time these days worrying either about money (debt) or health anxieties.

It's a rather surreal experience in all honesty. I just seem to love my routine of workingfull time, then gaming full time when I get home. Rather a sad life to all those who consider socializing as the be all and end all to being alive, but there we go.

Thanks for reading.

Ed

Welcome! I don't know anybody who found cannabis to increase their anxiety, though. Quite the opposite, really.

it does to some people.

i can assure you that if you smoke weed it can seriously damage your mind. i smoked pot for about as long as you did and it can send you round the twist.

Hi Ragamuffin! Welcome to Wrong Planet! You and your brother do sound like you may be on the Autism/Asperger's spectrum. I don't have any new advice for you as you already seem to know what to do, but don't follow through. Just remember though, you are among friends here at WP.

It sounds more like autism to me than Asperger's. HFA, maybe.