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Dots
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19 May 2012, 12:08 pm

Someone mentioned in another thread that in a certain situation they would "cling", not literally, but meaning that they would stay very close to a familiar person and follow them around.

Do you do this? In what sorts of situations would you be most likely to do it in?

I "cling" in pretty much every unfamiliar situation. I went to a coffee house at my university that a couple of people I knew were organizing, and I got there and pretty much followed the girl I knew around while she was setting up, until she told me to "go, mingle", after which I went and sat alone.

If I'm coming to visit someone at their house, don't leave me alone in the living room while you go get tea. I'm likely to follow you into the kitchen. Not because we're engaged in conversation or anything, just because I don't know what the appropriate reaction is. I don't know whether I'm expected to follow or not.

Any advice for getting over clinging? How do you know when you're supposed to entertain yourself and let someone go do something, and how do you actually do that?


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Joe90
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19 May 2012, 12:10 pm

Apparently I was very clingy at school. Now I try not to be so much, and I have grown to not like other people clinging to me because I like people to equally give me as much space as they do spending time with me, if that makes sense.


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19 May 2012, 12:20 pm

YES, I tend to cling. It's due to my fear of unknown. I don't know what people will do or how they will react, so I cling to someone I know really well and trust to guide me along, sort of like how a blind person uses a white cane. Autistic persons are known for not being clingy but in my case, it's a stereotype. I am even more clingy than the the average person and tend to overcompensate for my inability to understand people perfectly and desiring routine by clinging to one person, standing too close to them. One time I did it with this friend and she got really super annoyed at me. A guy tried to talk to me and shake my hand and I just clung to her with a look of horror on my face. Really pissed her off. People have gotten angry with me over my social skills many a time.



twich
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19 May 2012, 12:36 pm

My sister is extremely clingy, both in this sense and the physical sense. She's even clingy at home, I go into the kitchen or our Mum or her Dad do, and there's another person in the kitchen, she's automatically up and hovering. She likes hugging and cuddling in excess, too. I'm the COMPLETE opposite. I like a rather large personal space radius and I don't like hugs or cuddling.. We clash A LOT, and it's no fun.


When I'm in places I'm not used to, or there are a lot of people I don't know- Say at a party or my sister's grandparents house (different Dad, same Mum) for example, I usually stick to one or two people and just follow them around with a safe distance, yet closer than normal.



SilkySifaka
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19 May 2012, 12:55 pm

I cling. When I was a child (even a young teenager) I used to follow my poor Mum from one room to the other. I try and avoid situations where I will only know one person because I don't want to be a burden to them by following them about. I am best in situations where I am at least vaguely familiar with most of the people there.



AspieOtaku
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19 May 2012, 12:56 pm

I usually tend to get clingy in relationships, when I am emotionally attached to someone I get very clingy and overly affectionate unfortunatly my relationships end due to this. :(


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zombiegirl2010
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19 May 2012, 1:37 pm

twich wrote:
My sister is extremely clingy, both in this sense and the physical sense. She's even clingy at home, I go into the kitchen or our Mum or her Dad do, and there's another person in the kitchen, she's automatically up and hovering. She likes hugging and cuddling in excess, too. I'm the COMPLETE opposite. I like a rather large personal space radius and I don't like hugs or cuddling.. We clash A LOT, and it's no fun.


When I'm in places I'm not used to, or there are a lot of people I don't know- Say at a party or my sister's grandparents house (different Dad, same Mum) for example, I usually stick to one or two people and just follow them around with a safe distance, yet closer than normal.


Same here...I need lots of space! Although, if I'm in an unfamiliar environment (like out shopping) with a friend, I will be clingy because of all of the strangers around.


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IdahoRose
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19 May 2012, 2:42 pm

I follow my mom around whenever she's home. She never sits still and I want to be close to her so I can visit with her. I'm not sure if she actually minds or not, but she understands my need to be close to her so she doesn't say anything about it.



keira
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19 May 2012, 3:00 pm

I think I'm very clingy, but no one has ever called me that. I think I must be choosing the right people or giving something back to the people I cling to, because none of them ever complained about that and they usually stick around. Well, so far... Or maybe the people who don't like clingy people notice that about me early enough and avoid it, so I never get a chance to actually glue myself to them. :lol:



Atomsk
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19 May 2012, 3:08 pm

Dots wrote:
Someone mentioned in another thread that in a certain situation they would "cling", not literally, but meaning that they would stay very close to a familiar person and follow them around.


I'm pretty sure I was that person. :lol:

So obviously, I do this. I tend to do it in situations where I don't know what to do, unfamiliar situations, etc. I also do it when I'm burnt out or just not feeling like interacting - I'll follow someone familiar and just stay mute.



kudujongen
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19 May 2012, 3:14 pm

yes, i'am clingy, mostly with my parents, especially my father.

and i once was with a muslim guy at school,
but he later thought i was gay and became very angry at me



Dots
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19 May 2012, 3:20 pm

Atomsk wrote:
I'm pretty sure I was that person. :lol:


Yes, you were that person. I wasn't sure if it was appropriate to quote you in the original post or not. Hopefully I didn't offend. It just stuck out to me because I related.

I'm not really a "clingy" person - I like my time alone and I'd much prefer to be the anonymous person in a group who no one knows, who just sits on the edge and listens (one reason why 12 step groups never helped me - for having the word anonymous in their names, they don't let you stay anonymous) but if there is someone in the group that I know, I will stick really close to that person. I'm not sure why I do it - I think it's similar to what Ana said about using people like a blind person uses a cane.

I'm not physically clingy at all. I don't want to touch people or be touched.


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19 May 2012, 3:45 pm

I used to cling to some people so much I'm surprised I didn't dry hump anyone. Psychoanalytically, I'm thinking it may be due to one's mother not having a close relationship to her offspring.



Applecore
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19 May 2012, 4:38 pm

I was often called a "tail" when i was young. I used to follow my best (and only) friend around all the time. In our year book it says "Is always to be found near *friends name*". I also used to follow people to the bathroom and wait outside because i didn't know where else it was appropriate to wait (I later learned that right outside the door isn't the right place).



Dots
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19 May 2012, 4:46 pm

Applecore wrote:
I also used to follow people to the bathroom and wait outside because i didn't know where else it was appropriate to wait (I later learned that right outside the door isn't the right place).


I still do that. 8O Do you mean public bathrooms, or in people's houses? Usually if I'm hanging out with females and they go to the bathroom at a public bathroom, like in the university hallway, I wait right outside - not right on the doorstep, but just outside the washroom. I never realized that wasn't appropriate... maybe even less appropriate now that I'm a guy... :oops:

Where is the appropriate place to wait when the people you are with go to the bathroom?


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19 May 2012, 8:05 pm

Dots wrote:
I "cling" in pretty much every unfamiliar situation. I went to a coffee house at my university that a couple of people I knew were organizing, and I got there and pretty much followed the girl I knew around while she was setting up, until she told me to "go, mingle", after which I went and sat alone.


I cling and the above could have been written by me.

I also happen to love the word cling ...the way it's spelled, the way it looks and the way it sounds.


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