Have you ever 're-added' someone in real life?

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2wheels4ever
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21 May 2012, 12:05 am

Did you ever cut someone out of your life and change your mind about them later on? I've reconnected with a few ex-bandmates on FB and while I find some of them are still doing the same things they were 10 years ago and I've progressed in some ways, some of their habits don't bother me as much as they used to while others I used to like have turned into jerks. A lot of them only knew me when I was drinking so it's nice to show them the real me now, though some I haven't 'outed' to yet. Has anyone else gone through a bit of growing up and gotten back in touch with people?



amongthetrees
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21 May 2012, 1:03 am

For the most part, no I haven't allowed them back in.

I don't burn bridges, I nuke them.

That is not always a good thing and I am not saying I'm proud of it, but it's something that I can't not do. I wish I had colors in my box other than just black and white.



TheTigress
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21 May 2012, 1:23 am

I have done so on about 3 different occasions, and each time something happened that made me remember that I had removed them from my life before for a reason. Needless to say it has never worked out. That's the end of that experiment.



Last edited by TheTigress on 21 May 2012, 1:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

TheTigress
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21 May 2012, 1:24 am

amongthetrees wrote:
I don't burn bridges, I nuke them.

That is not always a good thing and I am not saying I'm proud of it, but it's something that I can't not do. I wish I had colors in my box other than just black and white.


Pretty much this.



CaptainTrips222
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21 May 2012, 1:52 am

TheTigress wrote:
I have done so on about 3 different occasions, and each time something happened that made me remember that I had removed them from my life before for a reason. Needless to say it has never worked out. That's the end of that experiment.


This. I've let them back in, and things were better for awhile, but they just went back to being the way they were before. I don't cut people out without a damn good reason. I'll warn them and give them chances, but I've learned that people sadly don't change, and never "get it."



Pileo
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21 May 2012, 1:56 am

I'm expected to reconnect with my father because I'm graduating soon. I don't want to but my mom is really pushing for it. When someone burns a bridge down with me, I am completely uninterested in rebuilding it.



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21 May 2012, 2:34 am

My old friend from my childhood added me on myspace asking me if I remember her and I said I did. Now we are both in facebook and she deleted her myspace because she didn't like that place anymore and found Facebook better. I abandoned my page there and do more at Facebook where I add my photos. I have thought about deleting it too but then I would lose my blogs.

But I remember her being mean to me in my childhood but she wasn't too bad but I let her back in my life. Plus she ignored me in 6th grade and hung out with her other friends instead and never me despite that she was at my house a lot during the summer and I was at her home once or twice. But she doesn't really remember the bad stuff because she could not remember the last time she saw me. She remembered when I was there and then the following year I was gone and she didn't know where I had went. We had moved the following summer was why.

I have tried letting my old online stalker back in my life but I would back out every time. Then last time I decided it was for good and never let him back in again. I do not talk to people who have an interest in molesting kids or have sex with under age kids under the age of consent and doing it online too. But I heard all this about him through hearsay and I didn't give him the chance to tell me his side of the story because I didn't read the IMs and I had blocked him and I probably just needed an excuse to not talk to him ever again and this was it.



vanhalenkurtz
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21 May 2012, 2:48 am

2wheels4ever wrote:
Has anyone else gone through a bit of growing up and gotten back in touch with people?


amongthetrees wrote:
I don't burn bridges, I nuke them.


Another bridge nuker here. But the FB phenomenon does tempt a long-term life assessment. Alas, not too edifying for me. Dropped in w/ several high school friends - we are in our 50s now - and peering into their lives was depressing. Well, actually, it helped boost my self-esteem a bit.

I will add. Above experience prompted me to make FB page. Still have it. No friends. Arbitrary images and doodles, another blog. My interests are so weird, FB has difficulty commodifying them, which is kind of subversive. Most of FB strikes me as total inanity.


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OJani
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21 May 2012, 3:00 am

CaptainTrips222 wrote:
TheTigress wrote:
I have done so on about 3 different occasions, and each time something happened that made me remember that I had removed them from my life before for a reason. Needless to say it has never worked out. That's the end of that experiment.


This. I've let them back in, and things were better for awhile, but they just went back to being the way they were before. I don't cut people out without a damn good reason. I'll warn them and give them chances, but I've learned that people sadly don't change, and never "get it."

Same here. While I'd dream too often about "re-adding" them in my life (currently three persons), I really don't see the point in being in the same friendly relationship with them we used to. Perhaps, I'd talk to them on occasion, but no more. Better stay away.

Former classmates or childhood friends are a different matter, though. I don't have a single connection with them right now, but I'd talk to them if the occasion would arise.

FB is no no for me (currently), although I'm there, I ignore it.



MrBackward
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21 May 2012, 6:54 am

Once someones gone for me then they are gone! I never seek out people from my past and never plan on doing so. Thus far no one has tried to contact me either so I am sitting pretty.


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21 May 2012, 7:16 am

Lets just say i wouldnt have ANY friends if i didn't let people back into my life. I believe in second chances, and even 3rd chances, and maybe even fourth chances DEPENDING greetly on what the wrongs they have done by me.
Maybe it was just piss me the hell off to the point i couldnt handle them anymore, or maybe they stoll my boyfriend.... <--- that in itself, the person would have to beg me for a 2nd chance, n then some....



Rax
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21 May 2012, 7:18 am

Yeah... It's hard to explain my logic though


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CaptainTrips222
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21 May 2012, 9:31 am

Teredia wrote:
Lets just say i wouldnt have ANY friends if i didn't let people back into my life. I believe in second chances, and even 3rd chances, and maybe even fourth chances DEPENDING greetly on what the wrongs they have done by me.
Maybe it was just piss me the hell off to the point i couldnt handle them anymore, or maybe they stoll my boyfriend.... <--- that in itself, the person would have to beg me for a 2nd chance, n then some....


If a friend stole a significant other, I'd be tempted to set fire to their house, or cut their break lines.



Colinn
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21 May 2012, 9:49 am

I guess I have in a way with a couple of old friends. But we never stopped by choice, when you leave school you just naturally drift sometimes. While I'm glad I'm back in touch with them and will always wish them well, I can't see myself meeting up with them or anything. I was a different person back then and they have changed very little.



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21 May 2012, 10:03 am

Yes, and I kind of regretted it.



XLCR
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21 May 2012, 1:03 pm

I don't burn my bridges, I just let them rot away from neglect.