Is this Aspie?

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Does this sound aspie? I am Neurotypical, but I wonder about my dad after reseaching. My dad speaks monotone, has major temper issues, has a "black and white" view of the world (no middle ground, very extreme), always cuts bananas in 12 pieces, has very few interests and focuses on them only, likes animals but is disconnected from people, despite a perfect hearing test speaks loudly and has the TV on loud, has his own set of rules for him, scratches at invisable itches, is oblivious that he is longwinded and bores us. On the plus side he has a good head for numbers and logical facts.

Yes he does sound as if he has a number of autistic traits

You could ask him to take the Autistim-Spectrum Quotient (AQ) test:-

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/9.12/aqtest.html

"Psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen and his colleagues at Cambridge's Autism Research Centre have created the Autism-Spectrum Quotient, or AQ, as a measure of the extent of autistic traits in adults. In the first major trial using the test, the average score in the control group was 16.4. Eighty percent of those diagnosed with autism or a related disorder scored 32 or higher. The test is not a means for making a diagnosis, however, and many who score above 32 and even meet the diagnostic criteria for mild autism or Asperger's report no difficulty functioning in their everyday lives. "

Also, just as he bores you, your communication style will probably be boring him too - it works both ways!

Thanks for replying.Respectfully to everyone reading this, I already filled in this very test as much as I could applying it to him without him knowing, being the kind of person he is, he would be in denial and rude at best. He scored well within the range of aspie in the test. I know it "cuts both ways" and is difficult for everyone. That is why I am here now, because I know a test is only general. This is hard. He is 60, I am 30, and this has gone on my whole life, with nobody understanding why there is a communcation gap. Him, my mum, my siblings...

How accurate is a test like that? Can one trust online tests?

At 60 I doubt he could change anyway - he will have spent his whole life developing coping strategies so a diagnosis is pointless in my opinion. There's usually never any support once you get a diagnosis either and most people don't have a clue about what Asperger's is or how it affects a person.

The diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome wasn't in existence until the 1990's so he couldn't have been diganosed with it when growing up anyway. He's survived ok from the sounds of it - found a partner, had children, presumably works/has had a job, so I'd say he's done well in life.

Let him be himself - respect his differences instead of seeing them as something that have to be changed to suit you.

I wasn't diagnosed until the age of 37 (I'm 46 now) and it gave me a major identity crisis.
I had a good job prior to diagnosis but my earning capacity went right down after diagnosis and I'm currently not working, so how advantageous has diagnosis been for me?

People should be respected for who they are, not labelled to within an inch of their lives.

It's impressive that you have worked out that he probably has Aspergers though, as the average NT is so thick and short-attention-spanned that they couldn't even spell Asperger's Syndrome let alone do research on it! Take a medal but I wouldn't go on about your Dad being boring on a site like this - you run the risk of getting savaged by people who've lived their whole lives being treated like s**t by NTs!

Last edited by nessa238 on 06 Apr 2012, 7:13 am, edited 2 times in total.

As it says in the accompanying text, it's only to give an indication of the extent of a person's autistic traits - it's not an actual diagnosis.

I scored 41 on it and I have a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome but I know of others with the same diagnosis who've scored lower than 32. One person at my support group scored 27 and they have an AS diagnosis so what does that tell you? In my opinion, people with Asperger's vary so widely in terms of how socially adept they can be/how well they get on in life, it makes the diagnosis almost meaningless! It's like there's a million sub or totally alternative conditions we don't know about yet and you can keep splitting the atom endlessly! I can definitely sense far more of an NT manipulative mindset in people who score under the 32 level though.

People who score 32 or above might be on the autistic spectrum but if they aren't experiencing any particular problems in their life they won't need a diagnosis so it's irrelevant

Many people just don't want to be labelled either, which is a good thing in my opinion.

Last edited by nessa238 on 06 Apr 2012, 7:11 am, edited 1 time in total.

The test for someone else to fill in is different. You can know how he truely feels about the scenarios in the tests, so it would not help you.

Jason

Good point

I don't want to label anyone, myself, my dad, anyone one this site, I am just trying to see if this is indeed something that may apply or not apply to him, which, has has been stated, can be hard, due to his age (no tests back then, the fact I can't ask him myself (not impossible but very awkward), and the computer tests are not all-knowing. All I am wanting is some help finding the rest of the answers questions I am looking for. Which is why I am here. Not to judge.
I gave a list of many things, and there was positive and negative in it. I don't want to change my dad, just to understand him. And him, the rest of us if that is possible. Yes, he has worked, until physical problems stopped him.

In my opinon he's probably got Asperger's Syndrome

What is it exactly you want to understand? Ask a specific question

I guess first of all I want to work out if he is aspie, now it seems if it's a yes, I want to try to understand Aspergers in general which I am trying to do by doing a lot of reading. Also, here are some of my more pressing questions....

1) How can I make things easier for dad?
2) How can I make things easier for the rest of the family?
3) How do I broach the subject with him? Do I? (I know a hard question to ask strangers)
4) How do I close the communication gap? (This is the big question) I want to know him.

I am crying as I write this. 30 years of pain, His, mine, mum's. Hard.

Sorry to hear it's upsetting you - I suppose it's hard for me to relate to NTs feeling pain as I am autistic and mainly focused on just my own pain! We are often very self-focused as in my opinion our brains don't multi-task very well. So I will be thinking about me mainly and not have a lot of brain facility/capacity to think about you as well - so in this way it's less about me being selfish and more about my brain just being single-focused as opposed to multi-focused like NT brains.

1. Er ask him! Seems the most logical way to find out how you can help anyone!

2. Depends on what the specific issues are that are causing them problems

3. Just ask if you can have a talk about some stuff you've been reading on the internet
about a condition called Asperger's Syndrome. Say "Here's some information about it - could you read it and let me know what you think?" Don't say "I think you've got this", just see what he says after reading it

http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/a ... drome.aspx

Either show him the above info on your laptop/computer or print it off for him to read

Then, dependning on how open he is to discussing it or if he asks why you are interested in the subject, move on to asking does he feel he relates to any of it himself

Before I was diagnosed, I had an ex boyfriend show me an article about Aspergers and say he wondered if he and I had it. I read it and said I didnt think so as it didnt all apply to me.
I kept it in the back of my mind though and mentioned it when I was seeing this Psychiatrist via occupational health from work and I said I'd had a vague idea I might possibly have Aspergers and he said yes I was thinking along the same lines. He referred me to a Neuro-Psychiatrist who diagnosed me.

In other words I had to come to the acceptance that I might have it in my own time; I wasn't going to have it foisted upon me and I didnt relate it to myself at first.

4. What are his interests/hobbies?

When he's talking about something in a long monologue you can act like you are really interested and ask questions so he can show off his knowledge

When I'd seen a good film and was telling my parents about it I used to practically tell them the whole plot of the film and they'd patiently listen to th whole thing, as if really interested. Showing interest and making him feel that what he says is of interest to you is what you can do ie humouring him. Works for me! I love it when someone gives positive attention to what I'm saying. I like it best when they really ARE interested though as it's fairly easy to tell when someone is humouring you.

In the UK there is a quarterly magazine created by and for people with Asperger's Syndrome/on the Autistic Spectrum, called 'Asperger United' - it's free if you have Aspergers and sign up for it. You can either have it posted out or access it online via the following link:-

http://www.autism.org.uk/en-gb/about-au ... nited.aspx

The January 2012 edition that is currently on the site and can be downloaded in PDF format has a feature on page 4-5 called 'My Dad', written by a girl called Ada who's Dad has Aspergers. It's not you is it? I was suddenly reminded of this article by your posts.

Why don't you ask him to take the online test? You don't need to make a big thing of it or explain what it is. If he scores high I'm sure he'll be interested in finding out more.

Jason

Apologies that it's taken so long to reply to this beacause of the Easter holidays.

Wow, a lot to think about here, and it's a LOT of help, thank you.

Nessa, please don't be sorry I got upset, it's a hard thing for anyone all of this trying to muddle through and be understood. And to answer your question, no I didn't write that article, I have "clicked" more recently than that that aspergers could be the issue here.

Jtuk, asking directly to take the test, even without making it a big deal, I'll have to have a big think about that, may be taken right off the bat as a critisism. I'm not sure...

Hard to talk to dad about most things, if he is interested, he will go off on a monologue, if uninterested he'll change the subject to something he likes and go on a monologue as already said or just walk off, shut down, and/or become confrontational. Hoo boy... Can't ask direct questions 90% of the time. I need to pick my moments. When I do, he can be quite insightful, actually.

Thanks again so much for your help everyone.