Empathy and human suffering in fiction

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I was curious if anyone else is like this or if it's just me, because I was recently surprised to find out other people don't do this so I want to find out if maybe other Aspies do it too. Sorry if this is the wrong section.

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So even though I have trouble reading people, I'm very VERY empathetic to others' suffering. Without even meaning too, for example if hearing about a murder I imagine what it would be like to be the victim and how horrible it is and what it's like for their family and etc etc. It's like my mind forces me to go through "Put yourself in their shoes" exercises whether I mean to or not. Every time.

But the weird part is I also do this for fictional people. If somebody dies in a movie I imagine what it would be like for them and how horrible it is and all that and get really upset. The fact that it's "not real" doesn't make any difference; I know it's fictional, of course, but the pain is the same as it would be if I just watched a real person getting shot in front of me. I know logically it's not real, that it's just actors pretending, but it feels so real.

And the worst part is I do it for comedies too. Take the Monty Python scene, for example, where the knight has all his limbs hacked off and it's supposed to be funny; all I can think is how horrible to have your limbs all cut off and for the dumbest of reasons, and now he's going to bleed to death all alone in the forest after Arthur leaves and what that'll feel like...

Or the Monty Python skit where it's a series of people camouflaging in the woods. The host tells them when to reveal themselves and when they do, they're promptly shot! I just can't at all fathom how it's supposed to be funny. I was just completely horrified and all I can think was how horrible it was and if only they hadn't come out of hiding and it's so senseless and etc etc...

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I only recently figured out the other people don't do this, they don't go through this heart-wrenching agony whenever bad things happen to people in fiction, I was dumbfounded because I thought it was painful for everyone and they just put up with it.

My parents tell me that when bad things happen to people in comedies, they can find it funny because they couldn't take it seriously even if they wanted to. Same goes for bad movies/TV. I have trouble understanding this concept. It's human misery, how can I NOT take it seriously? Maybe it's an Aspie thing.

In any case now I'm relieved to know I needn't put myself through the torture of watching serious movies and TV anymore, I used to think I had to because I'm supposed to like them because everyone else does. Now I just don't watch movies or TV where bad things happen to people, I'm happy to stick to documentaries and reality TV.

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I would like to hear thoughts from other Aspies. I'm really curious if anyone else is like this.

(TL;DR: I feel just as much empathy for the suffering of fictional people as I do for real ones, even though I know they're not real.)

I also have trouble reading cues. I don't feel a bond with strangers, and most of my empathy for them is sort of abstract, but I do feel something. I also feel that for fictional characters, too. I think we develop an attachment to the fictional characters. There is no need for us to have to conform to the norm when dealing with non real characters, so we can get to having feelings for them, that elude us when dealing with real persons.

I feel exactly like you about everything you said until you got to the comedy. Here's why.
When I get upset about something in fiction, sometimes the only way I can go back to living my life is to convince myself that it's not real and that those things didn't really happen. If it's more realistic, it's harder. In comedy, by contrast, the situations are usually highly improbable, so it's easier for me to remember that it's not real. In fact, sometimes it's hard to see it as real if it's so crazily improbable. I wonder if this is what your parents mean when they say they can't take it seriously.

Oh man the same exact thing happens to me. The sucky part for me is that I will literally feel the pain (which is why I must stay away from gorey things), or at least my mind makes up a pain in place of not ever actually having a limb torn off.

When people say Aspies don't have empathy, it's just because we may not always feel it the way NT's do, or show it the same way.

I think I'm on the opposite end of the emotional spectrum than what you described, OP. I can only relate to others emotional states or suffering through logical examination of the issues they're facing. I can sympathize, to an extent, but either there is no emotional involvement at all because I'm busy determining the best course of action or I am suddenly blindsided by confusion and frustration at my inability to change the circumstances of someone in pain. This way of approaching things is the same, even in the case of fictional characters. I either feel nothing, or I suddenly feel way too much.

I would avoid watching Monty Python if I were you. In a way yes I do imagine having my limbs hacked off. Oh and never watch the Salad days sketch. It's funny to me but I still see myself with...well in pain. But I don't feel sorry for the people especially if it's slap stick comedy.

When I write about my own characters going through a really emotional time I get so filled with emotional of my own that I find it hard to write about it.

I get really connected with certain characters I watch on TV and movies and I start to think of them as real people. I know that it's all make believe now. When I was younger I think I had such problems with thinking it was real that I'd get really scared, especially in horror movies.

[quote="mollygirl" I was recently surprised to find out other people don't do [/quote]

I am not sure I agree with this, I often cry when reading a book or watching a movie, despite the fact that it may be fiction - this is pretty common too, a lot of people do it

I admit that I don't have much empathy for real people, but I am often moved by the suffering of fictional characters. It's probably one of many reasons why I take certain characters on as imaginary friends - I feel so bad for them and want to relieve their suffering, so I bring them to a place in my imaginary world where they can finally be happy. It's kind of like bringing them to Heaven. Though I'm sure that spending every waking moment with me as their "host" proves to be more like Hell.

I too thought this was what everyone experienced.