Since I'm an autistic with a training question.........

Post Reply New Topic

Now that I'm retired, I'm wanting to do small jobs with my backhoe loader. Though I'm autistic I'm perfectly OK operating heavy equipment. Though I had some training on a backhoe loader in Florida I feel like I need a bit more training since these machines are quite dangerous. I had to fib on the waiver about my mental issues when it came to operating the backhoe loader and skid steer loader.

Anyhow, since I need some more training, I called up a local excavation company and spoke with the owner asking him if he can give me some more training on a backhoe loader that this company owned. As soon as I asked that question, this guy started laughing and wouldn't stop only long enough to say stuff that would make me mad. We hung up with him laughing. And this company's receptionist didn't see anything wrong with the way he acted over the phone. I was really hurt and autistics are going to be more sensitive I guess to this nonsense some of these people dish out. He was willing to take my money and let me operate the equipment saying in a cocky tone, "Well I got 10 whole acres that you can practice on" and also asked me "why are you wanting to do this?" laughing inbetween words as well. I was already mad at this guy for continuously laughing the whole time so I told him "just for the hell of it" after he ask me why I was wanting to do this. This happened about a month or 2 ago. And his behavior was really bothering me so I called his mother, who is the receptionist and part owner, up and reported him yesterday.


How would you all reacted if you were wanting to get some more training, in this case, on a piece of heavy equipment and all the person on the other end, did was laugh at you and ask questions that make you mad, but yet was willing to take your money and let you operate the equipment? Do you think this guy should have shown some respect for my feelings. The woman didn't laugh when I first told her so she isn't my problem.

I never persued this any further and put my backhoe in my shed thinking to hell with it. It's not worth the humiliation, especailly since I'm a woman.

He probably reacted that way because you're a woman (obviously he's sexist). He sounds like a jerk too. I wouldn't worry about it because you can always find somewhere else to train.

Hmm, maybe it came across like you wanted to pay him to work for him.

Probably the wrong person to get training from. I get what you are after, are there any proper training places you could go to? This guy sounds like he just let's people figure it out, whatever the damage.

Jason

I'm suppose to be getting proper training in a month or two where I can get certified as a backhoe operator. Since they have several locations for training, I don't know where it will be. I'm still waiting on an answer. It is a school that train people for certifications to operate heavy equipment. I think my request was to this local excavation company first, which caused me to look to another source.

As far as knowing how to operate a backhoe loader, I know how to operate one, but there are certain things that I'm not sure how to do with it. And yes I agree with you that I get the feeling he was just going to turn me lose on one to figure it out by myself.

I got a call today about an hour ago, from the father (one of the owners) of this person who seemed to find it all a joke. The father is wanting me to call him back because he seemed to be interested in helping me. But after what happened I'm having trouble getting over the humiliation from this guy as I am autistic and more sensitive to insensitve people like this. I will have to give it some serious thought about this given that there is a jerk that works there. Personally, I think he owes my an apology for his behavior.

I would follow it up.. I think you'll need to develop some thick skin to work with people like that, unfortunately these predominately male trades tend to have rougher sense of humor and tact. If it was me I'd want to show up the son

Jason

This is a sexist assumption on your part. There could be any number of reasons why the man was laughing.

It sounds much more likely that the person found it strange to be asked for training when that is not what their business is for. They don't train ordinary people who are not even employees, they just excavate. Imagine you asked a hot dog vendor to teach you how to cook hotdogs. Of course he'd find it somewhat amusing.

It seems quite possible that the laughter was not malicious or an attempt to ridicule at all, and was just cheerful enthusiasm about the novelty of being asked to provide an unusual service, one which they were more than happy to provide. It's also entirely possible that they thought this may have been a practical joke set up by a colleague.

I wouldn't really call that a "sexist assumption". The woman thing is a real possibility. Could also be that the OP sounds like a boy (not unreasonable--most preteen boys on TV cartoons are voiced by women, after all), and the guy thought that this was some ten-year-old kid fascinated with heavy equipment. I just don't think that this kind of a call would provoke someone to laugh without even attempting to give any information.

It was probably more like calling a fancy restaurant and asking where to get training in cooking. They might think it was a bit odd, but I don't think they would spend so much time laughing that they couldn't direct you to a culinary school.

If you do have to be certified for using heavy equipment, why wouldn't a company that uses heavy equipment know where to get such certification? I don't think that much laughing would be warranted.

At any rate, yeah, this isn't the kind of place you want to call. I think maybe find yourself a different company, ask where they get their training, and get that person or company's phone number.

Laughing is one thing. But, going non stop is an insult and is humiliating. The first person I talked to was a woman (one of the owners) who didn't laugh. The fellow that started up the business didn't laugh either and still wants to train me. So why did this clown started laughing uncontrollably? I've heard some bad stuff where people hate to work for this guy. And the only reason I know about him is my brother has a friend that works there.

I don't think this guy is necessarily sexist either but, I hope he realizes how he came across on the phone when talking to me. Most people would have gotten mad over his callousness too. I do agree with alex that this guy is a jerk.

The people in Florida didn't laugh either. Unfortunately they aren't doing this kind of thing anymore either.

Others I've ask didn't laugh and told me they wouldn't be able to do that showing respect. This jerk is the only one that made an ass of himself.

You are right on when it comes to my voice. This is what I was thinking also since I have a real problem with people thinking I'm a young boy. That among several reasons is why I called the woman back to report him. But, this guy was out of line acting like a fool rather than asking a few questions about me. And I never got a chance to tell him anything about me he was so engaged in laughtered. I went into great detail with the same woman the second time I talked to her. And she has also bent backwards to help me by talling the man who started the business(her husband) of the incident. So a person should never assume and act like this guy did.

As for the fancy restaurants and other businesses, a lot these places would rather hire someone completely green and train the new hires their way. So your statement doesn't apply in every case. I worked in an office which was a temporary job for 7 months doing various jobs and I was trained to do this work. Almost every office want experienced people. With the exception of computers I was trained to do everything else and they were wanting to hire someone that was green.

I don't have to be certified and this company didn't say where I can get certifed because I didn't asked them since arrangements are in the works right now for me to get certified which took place after the laughter factor incident. It isn't unreasonable that the certification would take place right here in my town. But, that is what I have to wait on since they try to set this training up in the best locations for everyone involved. A certification would just make me more reputable.

Since I got a call from the owner, in which I just let him leave a message, I may consider them, but I'm waiting for this jerk to get back home to see what happens and try to get the air cleared. Since I'm only dealing with one jerk I shouldn't judge everyone else there. I asked them because of all of the unused land they have and the fact that they have their own equipment. When I went to Florida, I had to rent the backhoe loader and the skid steer loader for the 2 days I was down there.

Being a possibility does not change the fact that it is an assumption based on the assumer's own preconceived notions about gender, an assumption informed by nothing else. There's no reason to assume that a guy is sexist because he is laughing while on the phone to someone who just so happens to be a woman, there was nothing in the OP that even hinted at this, and I doubt that anyone would even have suggested it if it weren't for the OP revealing at the end that she is a woman.

What would the assumption have been if he had been laughing while on the phone to a man? A possibility which is just as real.

The assumption made about his reasons would be entirely different, no doubt.

Making completely unfounded assumptions on the basis of gender is sexist, regardless of whether the person making these assumptions appears to be concerned about the imaginary sexism of others.

You may be making the error of assuming that we all have the same experience in/of the world, when the world is reactive and changes depending on who you are, what you look like, what your sex is, what your socioeconomic class is, disabled or not, and etc. Being female (I'm not) might give a person experiences which, if you shared it, would cause you to agree about the likelihood of the reaction being sexist. IME it's easy to miss that kind of stuff (stuff that you don't know that you don't know).