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How to be patient when trying to be friends?

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Blue Jay
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30 Mar 2012, 10:38 am

How do you be patient and calm when trying to be friends with online groups? I am trying to be relaxed and friendly and hope that I'm not ignored. How do you be friends when you try to show who you are and people don't readily respond to your efforts?

How do you keep calm and level headed when you don't get a friendly response that easily?

Thank you :)



Aharon
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30 Mar 2012, 10:49 am

Developing an online presence in a forum can take a long time, even for NT's. I'd say try not to take it personally, but at the same time, I know exactly how you feel. When I kill a thread or post one that doesn't last a day, that's not very encouraging, and most of my posts don't last long.


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questor
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30 Mar 2012, 4:08 pm

Yes, it can be hard when you really want to connect with people. I learned a long time ago not to expect people to fawn over me, since it was obviously never going to happen. It was better to face reality, than to be constantly upset about it. Also, when people have paid attention to me, all too often it was negative attention, which I prefer to do without. So, if someone wants to get along with me, at least for a little while, fine, but I won't have cow about it if they don't, and I won't hold my breath waiting for friendly type lightening to strike. If it doesn't happen, so what. The world won't come to an end, and I have other stuff going on in my life that keep me occupied.

I suggest you find things of your own to occupy and distract yourself, for those times when people aren't trying to connect with you. Don't be so desperate for contact, that you lose your cool. Every person on the planet is an individual. It is nice when two or more connect in some way, but it doesn't happen 24/7. And some people have it happen less than others.That's just the way life is. Find something else to do and get on with your life when you hit one of the solo patches.

Maybe it's easier for me, as I am an introvert by choice, but it is still a good idea to find ways to occupy yourself when you start to stress out. It does help.


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If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
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Blue Jay
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30 Mar 2012, 4:46 pm

Thank you, I really appreciate your replies :)