How many of you have long-term / lifelong friendships?

Post Reply New Topic

I don't. Wish I did though.

I thought I had, but I got dropped like a hot potato after 20 years.

my oldest friendships are all 9 years old or younger (I am 24) and every one of them has spent more time than not as an internet/text message/pen pal thing, even though many have ended up being face-to-face friendships again eventually.

Nothing.

You need a friend to develop a friendship.

I have one friend from when I was about 11 who I still see. My best friend from when I was about 7 just stopped answering my calls, sent me an email saying I'd "changed" and then stopped talking to me completely.

I have a group of friends from a theatre group I joined about 5 years ago but I'm only close to a couple of them.

My wife.. that's it. I don't count people I work with (since they'll never speak to me again after I leave that job).

How I managed to get a wife.. I wish I knew, but since she's on the spectrum I suspect we get on because we speak the same language, and were both outcasts. Our conversations often consist of bad literal jokes*.. 'Put the kettle on'..'It won't fit!'. 'How do burgers sound for tea?'.. 'sssssssss', etc. there's no smalltalk, but we're both happy with that.

* Occasionally she makes the mistake of saying "If you see something you like, grab it" whilst we're in the supermarket.

I've had a few long-term friendships. They ended when the other person "outgrew" me. I currently have a few long-term relationships that haven't ended yet. I have a fiance (we're not married, but it seems wrong to call him a "boyfriend" because he's an adult and "man-friend" just sounds plain dumb) but he's a very strange person. He's an NT, but he prefers autistic people to other NTs. I have two other close friends. One is the mom of my son's best friend. And the other is a neighbor who comes over for lunch every weekend who I've known for 20 years. Good people. None of them were easy to find and I consider myself lucky.

The trouble I've found with making friends is that my definition of "friend" is very different from the definition held by most adult NTs. I define "friend" as a person I can trust unconditionally that I enjoy being around, who feels the same about me. Adult NTs define "friend" as a person they can use towards a goal, who won't immediately back-stab them. That kind of friend is what I would call an ally. In my way of thinking, that's not a real friend.

So why don't you have any long-term or lifelong friends? Did they move away? Or did they decide they needed allies more than friends, like a lot of my previous friends did? Would you like to try to be friends with me? I don't think anyone who wants a friend should be without. In varying degrees, most people have a need for friendship.

I have one friend who I have had for long time. Thankfully. But I never see him, and kind of don't want to.. And obviously the friendship is kind of weird, we met eachother on a desperate compromise, but I'm really glad I have had it anyway. Great guy.

I usually have one good friend for about 5 years at a time, or through the stages of my youth, grade school, high school and college. I've had a few girlfriends but the longest last about a year and the shortest much shorter. I make it as long as I do largely because I am good at sex, its like a puzzle. My problems with relationships though are things like knowing when she's mad or being emotionally attached to things I consider petty. Maclean's magazine just published an article about this. http://www2.macleans.ca/2012/09/13/lear ... -syndrome/

How very sad that it is so common for us to not have long term friendships.
I have a friend from High School that I've known for 38 years. A bloke I still hang out with from Uni, probably 32 years. Several guys from back then that I know, but they aren't close. I always thought I was odd because I don't have a gaggle of friends.

My wife - I owe her everything for not letting me go, her understanding, and tolerance.

My good childhood friends moved away or went to other schools by age 10.

Others outgrew me when general interests shifted from activities and games to a popularity contest.

I've not really made adult friends.

Well I do have a friend I've known since kindergarten...our moms used to car-pool to get us to JK......and we met when we hadn't quite turned four yet and now we're 27....so have known each other for 24 years! Only we've only been actually friends for the last three years when we got back in touch as adults but in elementary school she did defend me when other kids picked on me sometimes-and she never picked on me (and the whole rest of the class did every year in my elementary school) and she let me follow her around asking repetitive questions and actually answered them for awhile at one point.....we were in the same class for several years.......but we didn't go to each others houses or anything. Basically I considered her a friend in elementary school.....and she was the closest thing I had to one so I kind of think of her as my childhood friend even now.

no. none at all. i seem to have a high turnover rate. i think im at that point where i have given up of having a friend to call long term or lifelong ever.

No friends, but happily married for 34 years.

I have one guy that I'd say would be a lifelong friend. But we never see each other. Not because we don't want to but he lives a world away now.