When you understood people for the first time....?

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Reptillian
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07 Apr 2012, 6:27 pm

What was your response?

When I started understanding people at the age of 14, I slowly distanced myself and then become a loner at 16 years old. I still am with no desire to be with people and capable of understanding people. 18 now.



CrazyCatLord
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07 Apr 2012, 6:39 pm

It also happened during puberty for me, but it wasn't so much an understanding of neurotypical people as the realization that I was different and couldn't fit in with them. I mean, the problem for me was that I didn't understand them anymore once social interaction became sexualized and overly complicated.



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07 Apr 2012, 6:57 pm

I dont understand people yet, though I figured out around age 10 that I didnt fit with them and was happy by myself, and around 14/15 I admitted I completely did not get teenagers at all, and there was no point continuing to try, and I was too young to fit with adults, but I hung out with them anyway (think lawn bowls etc.)...How did you start understanding people?


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junesummer
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07 Apr 2012, 7:30 pm

It was like when I was 20 lol but then again I still dont understand people



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07 Apr 2012, 7:41 pm

51 years old here, and still waiting for that to happen...

One of my former girlfriends once said to me, "Why do you think you need to 'get' people? You don't really NEED to get people to get along in this world."

She was NT. She was also right. We don't have to figure people out. What we really need to do is learn to just accept them as they are. Period.

Isn't that what we all expect everybody else to do for us?


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07 Apr 2012, 8:05 pm

MrXxx wrote:
We don't have to figure people out. What we really need to do is learn to just accept them as they are. Period.

The way I see it, acceptance and understanding people are two different (though related) things. Without being able to understand someones intentions, communication style etc it is hard to work with the person, even though one may accept who they are. For example, I accept a person but I dont understand them, therefor while I dont make any judgement about who they are, I dont know how to enable the relationship to work, I dont know how to interpret their intentions, what they want from me to enable the relationship to work and how to communicate what I need from them to enable things to work for me. I dont think that really explains it, but essentially I think both acceptance and understanding others are necessary for relationships to work.


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anneurysm
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07 Apr 2012, 8:33 pm

Depends on what you mean by "understanding people". I realized that I was different from other people around the age of 9-10, but did not feel the least bit secure around them until 18, and even then, I had a ton of anxiety around them (and still do). I have a good sense of other's intentions and motives, but this was something I learned extremely slowly...and it is something I am still learning.



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08 Apr 2012, 3:58 am

At age 48, I still don't understand people. :lol:


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08 Apr 2012, 4:41 am

I am not sure. I am also not sure what you mean by understanding them. I think I understand them better than I did as a kid.