How should i deal with this comment!

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26 Apr 2012, 3:13 pm

Tonight i got into an argument wtih my parents. my father said too me "you will never live a normal life since you have got too many challenges"

based on what he said too me what is the best way i can deal with that kind of remark? i must admit i do find things very hard.

Sweetleaf
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26 Apr 2012, 3:15 pm

Jamesy wrote:

what is so great about a normal life anyways....I mean even if i had no impairments I would not want a 'normal' life by societies standards. So I personally would deal with that by not really being bothered by it, I mean my initial reaction would be 'so what?' But yeah to me its kind of a pointless and rude remark to make so I can see why you would be upset by it.

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26 Apr 2012, 3:16 pm

I think that the best thing you can do with this remark - as with all the other spiteful things your brother, uncle or father throw at you - is to ignore it.

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Jamesy
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26 Apr 2012, 3:44 pm

Cornflake but still if there is some truth in it what might the comment mean?

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26 Apr 2012, 3:47 pm

Jamesy wrote:

OMG same here ! !! !

I remember some months ago my mom said to me the same thing, you have Asperger's so yeah... you'll need "help".

I just looked at her doing my frowny face and walked away raging. How can a parent do such a thing to his child? Too many people put me down, underestimate me, saying I'm different/have issues/my mind thinks differently. What you need my friend, is someone to encourage you, someone who would NOT hurt you or lower your moral because that can lead to depression and suffering and whatnot. You need to find yourself good friends or people who see you as even to them, otherwise it won't work. So what to do with that remark? well you can do alot of stuff but remember this you are born with 1 mother and you can't replace her. So basically you're stuck with her for life, and you have have 2 options: either constantly fight or settle down and find a way both of you are happy with.

And there is not such thing as a perfect mother, a perfect person or stuff. So when you have a mother/child relationship, or any kind of relationship people are gona get hurt. That's the way it is. People will hurt you and you will hurt people. So keep that in mind, and choose wisely.

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26 Apr 2012, 3:50 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Cornflake but still if there is some truth in it what might the comment mean?

I don't understand why you even care.
Seriously.

You must have thought about this yourself, so what do you think it means?

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Jamesy
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26 Apr 2012, 3:52 pm

i think what my dad might is that i will probably not marry or have a partner becuase of having aspergers.

still not good though

Cornflake what too you does 'a normal life' mean?

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26 Apr 2012, 3:55 pm

Jamesy wrote:

i think what my dad might is that i will probably not marry or have a partner becuase of having aspergers.

still not good though

Cornflake what too you does 'a normal life' mean?

What about finding a partner WITH asperger's? since he'll/she'll be understandful of you and you're both going through similiar things so yeah.

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26 Apr 2012, 3:56 pm

I know I'll never have a normal life.

The goal however isn't have a normal life, its having a happy, and successful life, under your personal definition of success.

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26 Apr 2012, 3:59 pm

Jamesy wrote:

i think what my dad might is that i will probably not marry or have a partner becuase of having aspergers.

still not good though

Ok. Now what?

It's still just his opinion, and you've posted many times with the ignorant rubbish he comes up with and it's clear he has little or no idea what he's talking about.

So why do you always take on the doom and gloom, as if what he says is the absolute truth and an irrevocable guarantee that it is definitely how your life will be - just because he said so?

Like I said: why do you even care?

Quote:

Cornflake what too you does 'a normal life' mean?

The phrase "a normal life" doesn't really mean anything. The nearest is that a life would be pretty much like anyone else's: "normal".
normal: adj 1: conforming with or constituting a norm or standard or level or type or social norm; not abnormal;

Better by far if someone has an interesting, happy, productive, funny, loving (etc) life.
Is that a normal life? I have no idea and I care even less.

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Wandering_Stranger
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26 Apr 2012, 4:02 pm

Jamesy wrote:

i think what my dad might is that i will probably not marry or have a partner becuase of having aspergers.

still not good though

Some people with Apsergers (I know at least 2 and one of them, her Autistic son has a baby with his girlfriend) do marry and do have children.

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26 Apr 2012, 4:04 pm

Tuttle wrote:

I know I'll never have a normal life.

The goal however isn't have a normal life, its having a happy, and successful life, under your personal definition of success.

Why do you say that for?

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26 Apr 2012, 4:06 pm

Jamesy wrote:

My dad said something similar. Accept what he said, and try your best every day.

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26 Apr 2012, 4:13 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Tuttle wrote:

I know I'll never have a normal life.

The goal however isn't have a normal life, its having a happy, and successful life, under your personal definition of success.

Why do you say that for?

Why would my life being similar to the average life be something to home for rather than me enjoying myself? That seems quite silly and quite wrong to me.

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26 Apr 2012, 4:14 pm

Jamesy wrote:

Just accept his comment. You may be different and therefore wont live a normal live, but that doesn't mean you can't live a completely fulfilling and productive life. It doesn't matter if it's not like other ways of living, as long as you're content, that's all that matters.

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26 Apr 2012, 4:19 pm

its hard though when i want too be with people and have a partner yet my temper and dysfunctions make it impossible

i dunno really if i can handle living a life just by myself without anyone too love me

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