selective mutism?

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is there anyone here with selective mutism AND AS? Is it common to have both?

Psychiatrists are hesitant to diagnose me with AS because I can't talk in front of them and when my mother is questioned she says I do talk at home... but I still don't make eye contact etc etc etc.

What is selective mutism?

I become selectively mute around most strangers.
I don't generally have a problem with shrinks though, as long as they don't expect me to start talking right away.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_Mutism

Look in the Haven forum- there is a special Silent section that is stickied.

after years of marriage, I've yet to learn to be mute around the missus...
But I do tend to keep quiet around strangers, until I can figure out what's going on.

Well, I don't have selective mutism for sure, although I would say I have social anxiety that results in me being unable to speak to other people, at least, some of the times.

thanks for replies.

I definitely have moments of that. People will introduce themselves and all I can do is stand there and stare.

Selective hearing, comes in handy around wives, girlfriends, or real annoying people.

I had it until I was 15. I didn't even realise I had it until my mum said people always asked her why I didn't talk.
At 15 I just decided to hang out with more people and I got better at speaking to people. I still think my speech is a bit broken though.

There is this [from eMedicine on Asperger's]:

For me it happens when I am afraid of scaring people of. I also find it hard to talk to people that I don't know in new places. I also find it hard when I want to talk about things political with people who will never agree with me. I am a mixed bag. When I am around people I get to know, then it is hard to shut me up, with the exception of the mental health world. I don't care how much I know you. I will not open up.

This is a really interesting topic.

The idea of selective mutism is intriguing to me, first of all.

There have been plenty of times when I've been caught off guard in a social situation and I responded by shutting down completely... not speaking or even acknowledging the other person.

But to me, it always seemed less automatic and more of a conscious choice. If I was in an unfamiliar place, and a stranger spoke to me, I pretty much knew that I would probably not speak to them.

Honestly, I identify more with the "misconception" of "elective mutism", as stated in the Wikipedia article previously linked:

The former name elective mutism indicates a widespread misconception even among psychologists that selective mute people choose to be silent in certain situations, while the truth is that they are forced by their extreme anxiety to remain silent; despite their will to speak, they just cannot make any voice.

When confronted with those certain situations, I don't feel as if I cannot make any voice. Indeed, I often do, and it comes out all wrong, which is an entirely different issue. More voluntarily than involuntarily, I do not speak. I am perfectly capable of doing so, I just know from experience that bad things tend to happen when I do, so I refrain.

For me, it's more of a learned self-defense mechanism, you know?

I agree with this definition.
Definitely self-defense so I won't be yelled at or inadvertently upset anyone.

After years of people telling me to keep quiet for being "naughty" and saying the "wrong thing", I'm now virtually silent in informal situations.

In public informal situations I have to let other people and members of the family talk to my first. One of them even says that I'm a "baby" and will mess things up, so she barges into the discussion first for me and never even gives me a chance. I'm perfectly capable of giving formal presentations, but I still have to endure this from this family member .

I must have had this mutism thing a lot at Primary School. I eventually got to the point where I was just sick and tired of being told off , excluded from activities and shouted at for reasons I couldn't even fathom. I'd told the staff explicitly how I was feeling and what I felt the problems were, but they just kept telling me to "behave". In the end, that's what I did. I became completely silent and withdrawn from anger/confusion/bewilderment .

Eventually, people commented and praised me on how well behaved and quiet I was. I did this mostly out of fear and not having a clue how to interact with the other kids, even at break-time.

I've never really recovered from this because people never gave me a chance or even hinted remotely at how I should have initiated informal conversations. Now I'm hopelessly out of practice and basically freeze when I try and communicate with anyone new. Great just great *sarcasm*.

I have no idea who I *should* be and what people really expect from me.
People say: "Oh she doesn't talk much. She's very polite. She's very quiet."
Then they wonder why .

The only time I can really be myself and open up is with really close friends and family. We just go crazy and have a laugh, no unwritten social rules at all. Some of them say far sillier things in public than I ever will: how come they're allowed to get away with it and I'm not? Is it because they're all mostly male and I'm female?

I had selective mutism in school up until I was 14-15 years. My daughter is 14 years now, and she is almost mute in school.

Me too. I was 14, soon to turn 15. I don't remember the exact reason why I changed. Do you?
All I know is from that time I made a whole lot of improvements with communication and even self-care.