Aspies mistaken for sketchy, untrustworthy liars??? (Poll)

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OK, so I'm reading a Yahoo article titled "What Not to Say When Pulled Over by a Cop". It starts out quoting a Chris Rock comedy skit on the matter (apparently popular on YouTube). Then a bunch of common-sense stuff (be polite, etc.).

And then this:

Great. Is this part of our problem with people? That failure to make and maintain eye-contact in the usual manner is taken as proof that we're lying?

And I just recently read another article about how common it is for "certain kinds of people" (including people w/ Asperger's?) to actually confess to crimes they didn't commit, due to intense police interrogation and tricks (yeah, here - in the good ol' USA, not some tin-pot dictatorship). That article didn't specifically mention Asperger's or anything, but it occurred to me that if police get a hold of a suspect w/ Asperger's, we're unlikely to seem believable, simply due to having atypical eye-contact, facial expressions, emotional reactions, delayed response time, etc. And so they would just step up the pressure until you confessed just to get relief from the unbearable pressure. What a horrifying thought.

This is so discouraging. No wonder I'm starting to feel paranoid, like I'm a criminal or something! (I'm actually extremely law-abiding, honest, kind-hearted and fair-minded - much more so than most "normal" people in fact, as I'm sure most of us are. (Example: I've never even tried any illegal drugs, never cheated in school, never cheated on a girlfriend, etc. Not making a moral judgment on illegal drug use or anything else - I'm just using it to illustrate my law-abiding nature.) And I guess my becoming increasingly alone in the world also has something to do with this growing feeling of paranoia.

This is just extremely unfair, sad and discouraging. Thinking about this, I envy girls, little kids and old people, who at least don't fit the usual criminal profile (teenage guys and adult men).

Your thoughts? I wonder if anyone else understands my feeling?

People who lie don´t actually avoid eye contact or look to the left. Any police officer being seriously trained in that is a horrifying thought, and probably doesn´t happen. I think most everyone gets nervous around police officers.

It is true that since people with autism have different body language, they might be regarded as suspicious or even under the influence of drugs. Some people here wear medical ID bracelets stating they have an ASD, or have a card to give to police officers in such an occurrence.

I don´t think an aspie would be one to admit to a crime under pressure. I would think they would be more likely to be rigid in their honesty.

Oh my god... reading the comments to that Yahoo article is seriously fear-inducing! (I just read a few of the "Highest Rated" comments). 15,000 reader comments on that article! I've never seen so many comments on any article, ever. Unbelievable stuff.

i've been distrusted unreasonably, so yeah, i am wary of it.

a few times i've attempted (forced - ow) what i thought might be normal eye contact in a situation i was especially concerned i might be misread or something and don't know if i pulled it off or made it worse. it probably made me more nervous, counteracting whatever gains i made.

i'm conscious also now of coming across as having an attitude problem when i don't really. i get really uncomfortable with authority figures because i feel guilty until proven innocent. i'm just blunt. i don't know proper boss / cop / parent etiquette.

in reality if i were to take home as much as a pen from work or something, i would let someone know. it's ridiculous.

People on the spectrum should also be aware that police can legally lie to you, and even present you with fake "evidence" in order to try to make you confess. (Until I read that, I naively assumed cops couldn't lie to citizens.) They can also try bargaining tactics like, "confess to this lesser crime or else we'll charge you with this other one which has a much worse punishment" -- even if they couldn't really charge you with the worse crime.

I've not had to deal with any of this personally, but the police system and tactics do sound pretty intimidating. Their methods are designed to crack hardened NT liars, and I'd be concerned that an ASC person could end up getting screwed really badly by such stuff.

I've also heard that the TSA is looking into "behavioral profiling," to look for terrorists or other dangerous people in airports. The "profile" is what you'd guess -- someone who looks nervous , uncomfortable, or odd, basically.

People tell me I'm 'Sketchy' all the time. I have a hard time selling stuff because people think I'm trying to scam them or something.

I especially hate it when people tell me to look them in the eyes and tell them the truth. If I tell them no, they'll think I'm lying and if I agree they'll think I'm lying.

Lose - lose situation.

By "looking to the left" do they mean the left of the person looking or the left of the person perceiving the looking of the other person?

And if you're pulled over in the United States how do you look at the officer without looking to your own left?

Or if you look to the officer's left, it will be directly ahead of you, which will be the natural direction for you to be facing.

Yes I tend to have this problem on occasion and I wish someone would at least tell me what it is I have done to give them such impressions because I spend most of my time minding my own business and you know those of us with AS are far more vigilant about following rules than NT's.

A few months ago I was at the mall and there is a particular area up top where there is a nice view of the city. I had never been up there but noticed that teenagers frequently went up there and large groups of people would frequently exit the theater that way after movies and so one day I decided to go see what was up there.

The area was not marked prohibited with any signs and due to all the traffic that seemed to come through there, there was nothing to indicate it was no an area open to the public, but never the less, I was up there for no more than a few minutes when an entire team of security guards confronted me and told me I had to leave the area because it was an emergency exit.

I wanted to point out to them that there was absolutely nothing to indicate this but I just left and considered filing a complaint with management because emergency exits should be clearly marked and wheelchair accessible, and this one was neither marked nor accessible for those in wheelchairs.

I voted no because I think this argument is far too simplistic. I live around people who are criminals, and all of them at one time or another have been in trouble with the law. I am a law abiding citizen, and have NOT been arrested. I have had encounters with the police, and they were not always without some minor misunderstandings, but that was my fault due to the aforementioned traits ( avoiding eye contact, being nervous and uptight, etc.) To paint the police as being all corrupt bullies is unfair and innaccurate. This is my experience with this issue: maybe others have had different outcomes, I don't know. If you are truly honest, it almost always comes out one way or another, so being overly paranoid is not helpful and only serves to make things worse.

what!? this is horrifying.



of course not all cops are bullies but it would be easy in that situation to abuse power so it's something to be aware of even if it's a minority of police that are power abusers. something potentially difficult for someone with AS to pick up on.

where i grew up a cop once picked up a woman for a minor offense and then intimidated her into performing sexual acts and was acquitted for it.

I'm not sure if this was addressed to me or not, but I certainly didn't mean to paint police as all corrupt bullies. I don't think that, and like you, I haven't had any terrible experiences with the police. (And I totally agree with the last thing you said) But at the same time... well, I think we've also come a long way from the friendly, well-meaning police depicted in old American movies and TV shows from the 1950s or whatever. I mean the whole culture seems to be getting more and more dangerous, and the police perhaps simply reflect that and have become harder, more cynical, etc.?

But no... in my case, I guess it's just that I think I've sort of been in denial most of my life about just how different I am (I only recently realized that I must have Asperger's)... I mean, I learned at a very early age to pretty much keep to myself, but I still thought that I could pass for normal anytime I wanted to. Well, I guess some extremely painful recent experiences have forced me to realize that I was kidding myself - and that people can tell very quickly that something is odd about me. Plus, I'm unemployed as usual, I'm getting older... definitely not a kid anymore... it's like... if I wasn't living with my family, I would be homeless! In any case, I'm a loner, and while you're young you can get away with it, but I think as you get older... if you're not married... don't have kids... if you're just some middle aged guy who is always by himself... I don't know... I'm starting to feel like a real creep, like a weird homeless person, or someone who might seem a little "crazy", etc.

Objectively, I think this is still mostly an exaggerated feeling on my part. I'm pretty sure I don't like a homeless person to anyone. But I'm starting to feel like one. And I'm getting some kind of a vibe from people sometimes, and it scares the hell out of me. And I find myself feeling a bit nervous when I see police... even though I haven't done anything wrong... but I read articles like this and I think... oh, man... I'm different, I'm a guy, I'm a loner, I'm unemployed, frustrated, depressed, angry about my situation, etc., etc... so I must look suspicious to people, and I think we all know that "guilty until proven innocent" is a bit of a fairy tale - the truth is more like "if you look different or odd or suspicious somehow, you're probably some kind of a bad guy". And I just fear that all of this could go very badly for me if I crossed paths with the wrong kind of cop.

I don't know. Does anyone else get what I'm feeling?

It is a very good point, Thomas L. It hits close to home for me. I am getting older also. I am unmarried and always alone. Those two traits in themselves are cause for suspicion in our North American culture. Add to that communication problems, anxiety and depression, and yes, you do have a volatile mix and recipe for a social disaster. But the interesting thing is that I have found professionals like the police and the medical community to be MORE understanding than the general public, which may sound strange. The social animosity I receive from so-called N/Ts is much worse, so I have been conditioned to be more trusting of authority figures than the average person. This was the reason for my original post.

Wow - I am so glad you posted that - that is a very hopeful message! I didn't know. Also very nice to hear someone else gets what I'm feeling. Thanks ScottyN.

I sometimes think I come across as looking shifty, especially when I'm really depressed and get very into my own head and unable to respond very well to people and my surroundings. There have been a couple of occasions when I've been in the chemist waiting for a prescription and I've seen members of staff looking concerned and have come over to ask me what I am doing presumably because I look like I'm either shoplifting or thinking of robbing the place.

As for the police, I've never been in trouble with the law as an adult, although have been the victim of a couple of crimes and am convinced the police didn't really take me seriously because my body language and eye contact weren't right, and also because I said I was on the sick.

I've always had trouble with people thinking I'm off or out of place. I hate authority figures just because of that. People often ask me if I'm on drugs when I'm just nervous, clumsy or not making eye contact. It's very heart breaking. Although now that I'm older I've learned how to actually lie and fake my emotions just to avoid such harassment. It's very sad because when I act like myself people think I'm lying but when I lie right to their face with the expressions I learned by practicing in a mirror they couldn't tell. If I didn't learn to mimic people around me as well as I do I'd still be screwed. My lack of NT communication skills has made holding a job difficult, I was always discouraged because I was often told that my labor skills were excellent and they couldn't understand why my customer service skills were none existent. I hate the fact that I can't be myself just so that I can live a slightly comfortable life. I'll never be as comfortable as I'd like it to be but it does come close at times.

A police officer doing a 15 second judgement of you are incapable of telling if you are lying or not - unless you say something that is obviously untrue.

A professional profiler i talked to told me that it takes at least a few good hours to get to know someone, you first create a baseline of how that person works. If a person has ticks, shakes their leg or looks up is irrelevant. Its when they STOP doing that and act differently, i.e. stop shaking their leg - that's when you have to pay attention. And you don't go by just ONE such event. You repeat the process and look for similar events.

That's the difference between at professional profiler and a street cop. One has actual science behind him, the other go by his own limited experience.