Why do I have such aggressive opposition?

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Ryginar
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12 Apr 2012, 10:20 am

Every chance people get, they talk down to me, thinly veil their insults towards me, make hurtful and erroneous accusations, and are generally childish. Every time I discuss my hobbies, people will try to one up me, and make themselves look better. I never even receive compliments.
Even on the internet, people will take every opportunity to make me look worthless, by talking down to me and whatnot.
I really don't get it.


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Last edited by Ryginar on 12 Apr 2012, 12:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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12 Apr 2012, 10:23 am

I don't, either.



Ryginar
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12 Apr 2012, 11:24 am

I know, it's very confusing..Maybe people think I'm condescending? Who knows? I honestly try to be the best person I can be.



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12 Apr 2012, 11:27 am

Ryginar wrote:
I know, it's very confusing..Maybe people think I'm condescending? Who knows? I honestly try to be the best person I can be.

You don't appear condescending now. I get the same treatment yet have no idea why. It's irritating. *shrugs*



Ryginar
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12 Apr 2012, 12:03 pm

I see I'm not the only one who has to put up with this kind of BS =/ Anyway, good luck with that, and well met.



40djbrooks
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12 Apr 2012, 12:45 pm

Yes I get that too as well.

Best thing if people are so negative towards you, then dont waste any more time on them. Do what you enjoy doing and stuff anyone else.



Kindertotenlieder79
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12 Apr 2012, 6:09 pm

I wonder why NTs do this to us. Is it us being the Omega animals, the 'least' of our species? Are we the runts at the end of the wolf pack that need to be nipped at all the time? Do we come across as being less than human, or even inhuman, to them, with our odd facial expressions, unusual voice tones and body language? I feel as though I've been wearing a sign on my head all my life that says, "I'm weak, feel free to hurt me all you want".

I used to feel :cry: most of the time when I was a kid. Their hatred for me is making me feel more :evil: as I get older.



AspieAshley
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12 Apr 2012, 10:18 pm

If you're different or you question the norm in any way, people condemn you...even if the norn in question is unhealthy.


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Stargazer43
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12 Apr 2012, 10:23 pm

Are you sure that you are interpreting everyone's intentions correctly? I have no doubt that some people may be treating you quite poorly, but it's also possible that others may be treating you with the utmost respect but you are just misinterpreting their words or signals...I've seen it happen all the time (with myself included). And as for never receiving complements...I think you have a rather nice looking avatar! (even though I can't say I know what it is exactly lol)



Ryginar
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16 Apr 2012, 12:14 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
Are you sure that you are interpreting everyone's intentions correctly? I have no doubt that some people may be treating you quite poorly, but it's also possible that others may be treating you with the utmost respect but you are just misinterpreting their words or signals...I've seen it happen all the time (with myself included). And as for never receiving complements...I think you have a rather nice looking avatar! (even though I can't say I know what it is exactly lol)


You could be right. I might give you some examples later to see if you are. Thanks. :) But I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who puts up with it, lol.


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16 Apr 2012, 7:42 pm

40djbrooks wrote:
Yes I get that too as well.

Best thing if people are so negative towards you, then dont waste any more time on them. Do what you enjoy doing and stuff anyone else.

I think it depends on who you are talking to. The sad thing is that it's easy to put mean people into one category. Because they have other similarities, too.

Unless someone is generally mean, I don't experience much of that.

Now that I think about it...

If people insult others quite often in general, they surely will treat me the same way.

I guess the real problem is that people mostly seem to know how to see faults in others quite easily. It's much harder to make other people feel good about themselves. Even if someone does not intend to insult me, they still point at my faults for no real reason. I also love how people keep saying "I only want to help you", while they're only making me feel miserable. Really, if people want to help you they don't need to justify that. Sadly, real help does not work with me anymore because I've absorbed too much negativity throughout my life.


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Cyonce
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16 Apr 2012, 7:56 pm

I've had this experience many times, some of it at least does seem to be due to the way I present myself or talk about things.

I know that I definitely sometimes come across as a know-it-all. Part of the problem is that even on subjects that I am in fact an authority on from scads of research, I usually act as if they should just accept that I know what I'm talking about without any 'credentials' so to speak. For example if i join a conversation about fixing computers with people who don't know that's what I do for a living and I just jump in and start telling people how its done it doesn't often go well. I tend to forget that people don't all know everything about my life and experience.

I can also find myself lecturing or speaking as if I'm the only one present who knows anything. This makes it look like I'm a self-important opinionated ass and people react accordingly.



Keyman
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16 Apr 2012, 8:57 pm

I agree with @40djbrooks, do what you enjoy or satisfy your goals. f**k the rest, may they rust in peace ;)

@Kindertotenlieder79, We are not the last, this century is ours. Look at Silicon Valley! aspies reproducing and getting power like has never happened before on a large scale.

However think of NT:s like scorpions, they just can help themselves from stinging everyone else. But in this case it's all about making other feel they are the highest on the social status ladder. Where any (legal) means is justified.

@Cyonce, Why waste resources on people that want to stay ignorant? ;), you know your area of expertise. Find people that you can learn from instead or interact with in a meaningful way.



Cyonce
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16 Apr 2012, 10:07 pm

Keyman wrote:
@Cyonce, Why waste resources on people that want to stay ignorant? ;), you know your area of expertise. Find people that you can learn from instead or interact with in a meaningful way.


I played it that way for many years but at a certain point I decided I'd rather take the effort required to follow social conventions a little better rather than have fewer people to talk to. My point was more that it was easier for me to understand why I was getting the reaction I was when I looked at it from their point of view. Well, actually this was brought to my attention by someone whose opinion I respected.



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16 Apr 2012, 10:29 pm

Ryginar wrote:
I know, it's very confusing..Maybe people think I'm condescending?


That could be part of the reason. Sometimes Aspies come across as arrogant and aloof to neuro-typicals without meaning to. Or it could be that they just pick on you because you're different. A lot of people just have cruel tendencies. All of us do on some level.

I've been picked on before, but it was mostly because some people saw me as the "special" kid, and thought it would be fun to harass me.