I really need some help :(
Hi folks,
I got diagnosed with AS high function. I have the most amazing bf and I'm going to get married!! But everything I enjoy is bad and involves money or something like that. I feel I always have to lie because I ruin things. I have no interests any more. I am not happy with myself... I feel so depressed even though I have been blessed with the best partner and family/family in-law. I am such a mess I got put on benefits at 16 and have been through college and done up to a HNC. Then I went back to go a degree and just couldn't I want a job but can't seem to get one and whatever I try I'm just not good at. :'( I have went through charities which have go me nowhere so sorry if i'm ranting on I need more in my life than just cleaning the house because i feel so useless and my lovely partners having to work all the hours for min wage! I just don't know how to get out this rut.
Hmm, not usually all that good at reading between the lines, but...
You have not told him, have you? I think you need to clarify & explain everything to your BF before you walk down the aisle. Obviously, living a lie is already hurting you.
Of course, I might be 180 degrees in the wrong direction, but this is my take on it, since you ere far from specific on anything.
Sincerely,
Matthew
I agree with one of the other posters. You should not be getting married until you tell your bf about your problems. If you are having money troubles and having trouble finding a job, how about self employment?
- Run errands for people.
- Walk dogs, house and pet sit.
- Clean houses, offices.
- Mow lawns and other yard work.
- Turn a hobby into an income producing opportunity.
I'm sure you can think of other self employment opportunities.
In the mean time you need to do things to keep yourself occupied and distracted.
- Exercise, it generates mood boosting endorphins.
- Read funny stories and watch funny shows. That also generates endorphins.
- Get plenty of rest. It will reduce stress, anxiety, and crankiness.
- Eat healthy and enough of it. Skimping on meals makes people tired and cranky. It also makes them look like ghoulish skeletons.
- Volunteer. There are people out there worse off than us. It will also boost your mood.
- Take up a hobby.
- Join a club.
- Get involved in community affairs. Attend town meetings, go to events sponsored by the local libraries, attend local theater shows--or even get involved in the productions, go to local fairs and sporting events, etc.
You have plenty of options. Now, check 'em out.
_________________
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau