Maybe I am not really autistic

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A big thing on WP later is an aspie's special connection to animals. I have never felt connected to any animal that wasn't my pet. I feel more connected to people than to animals. I don't have a lot of the main symptoms like eye contact issues, figuring out people's emotions, sensitive to noise (other than dogs barking), understanding humour and formal speech. I am also really bad at math and don't have a special talent. I have special interests but they aren't too intense or to unusual, as they are things like musical groups and books/movies.

What could I have instead of autism? My main symptom is emotional overload (meltdowns) usually related to ANXIETY/STRESS and dislike of interacting with peers (but not adults). A lot of my social skill issues come from anxiety. I also take things literally. I have noticed that if an aspie has all the symptoms except one, it's meltdowns. I also have handwriting issues and I am hypo-sensitive to pain. I have sensory issues with smell and taste and sometimes touch, but not light or noise.

You really shouldn't feel one way or the other based off your observations of Wrong Planet.

There is a semi controversial diagnosis called Non verbal learning disability (NLD or NVLD) which may or may not make more sense for you
Details here:
http://www.nldontheweb.org/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonverbal_ ... g_disorder

Some people are of the opinion that it's basically a subtype or one of the infinite variations of Aspergers, and question whether it is a unique syndrome. It basically came about from psychologists noticing that some people had big differences between verbal and non verbal parts of the Weschler IQ test and wondering what that meant in the real world;if you have such discrepancies (e.g verbal more than a standard deviation (15points) higher than performance that's a key indicator of something going on in that direction.

The idea of narrow/ restricted interests is problematic, especially for "high functioning" folks who's interests are very complex and not out of line with the sort of thing other people of their intellectual abilities are into. Many NT's are obsessed with arcane stuff too.

But having said all that, you don't have to have autism to have serious social anxiety, be highly sensitive, and have problems reading body language or non verbal ques and many people have problems with social skills not because they don't perceive non verbal stuff but because for whatever reason they have been socially isolated or rejected and haven't learned how to communicate effectively. Even if you don't have according to Hoyle autism, the strategies that help people on the spectrum cope may well help you, and if you are naturally more perceptive about some of these things your experience can potentially be helpful to others. So don't feel like you don't belong here. We come in all shapes and sizes.

If you are really that worried, can you go and see a therapist or something to discuss it to get her opinion? Also do you meet the DSM V criteria for ASD?

I only become able to feel connected to animals later in my life. It's not that I didn't have hamsters and fishes and such in my childhood that I liked, but the emotional connectedness that's mutual and more mature was missing. I liked animals but to connect to them properly is a different thing that I learned to manage only later in my life.

Figuring out people's emotions can be a leaned trait. Females are usually better at social stuff when comparing to their male counterparts (spectrum or not). Whether they learn it or are innately better at it is not known. Nevertheless, it's only a tendency, so there are probably many exceptions to this.

Most folks with an ASD or possible ASD do have meltdowns or meltdownish behaviors (some kind of emotional disregulation), or shutdowns (when it's directed inwards).

I agree with what DeadalusRex wrote about special interests. Some people with relatively wide variety of interests (like myself) resemble more normal people, although the intensity of the interests can be higher. Even when I had no knowledge of ASDs I instinctively knew that my interests can be used as a means of connecting with like-minded people.

Maybe you have a really high functioning form of autism/ASD/Asperger's/whatever, and a touch of social anxiety. In my case, I have the same basically, plus traits of ADHD, some kind of learning disability or memory problem, and some mild traits of social anxiety.

The key is to see yourself as an individual with individual traits that you have to be able to address in order to be able to move further in your life. In the meantime, I guess there's nothing wrong with referring to yourself as 'HFA' or even 'Asperger's', if you wish, as both labels capture many of your differences. (This time I spare the usual PDD-NOS rant )

Sensory processing disorder plus social phobia?

Even with that combination you still have so much in common with autistics that you may as well be autistic. It's not like you either are or aren't; more like, you've got more or less autistic traits. If you're non-autistic, you're probably still pretty close to the spectrum. And from what you report, you have enough problems that some sort of diagnosis is warranted. You're socially anxious and isolated and have meltdowns; whatever label you stick on it, it's getting in the way of your life, and thus requires some kind of work-around.

For the purposes of dealing with practical problems, addressing the social phobia may help. You say that most of your social problems come from anxiety, as does a good deal of your overload--so, rather than getting social skills lessons like many autistics do, you might be better off getting treatment for social anxiety specifically.

BTW, feeling connected to animals is not some kind of autism litmus test; I don't even know whether it's more common than it is among NTs. Humans have domesticated animals and kept pets since long before recorded history began. It's natural for NT humans to relate to animals, too.

My son seems to see animals as fur coated objects of no interest that are only to be looked at in so far as you should look where they are so you don't trip over them. He's very Autistic, i.e. non verbal and obsessively interested in leaves and twigs at the moment (examining and spinning them). I'm not aware of either liking animals or not being a factor in Autism in anyway that I'm aware of.

You have to remember that WP isn't representative of every person with ASD.

I don't think every person with ASD has some form of sensitivity issue. I believe my brother doesn't.

Review reasons why you originally thought you may be an aspie.
Do they still stand true?
I feel that a lot of the classic traits are misleading, in that people (who know something about asperger's) then tend to assume that you have them if you are an aspie.
It can feel quite patronising

The problem was diagnosed as a child (not a teenager, or a preteen, an actual young child), so I didn't think of any reasons, but I asked my parents who said they didn't notice anything (my dad has autistic tendencies and my mom is introverted and has anxiety and I am their first and only child), it was the preschool teachers that noticed it and what they noticed was the emotional overload meltdowns and not wanting to play with the other kids.

Those verbal / non-verbal iq differences are expected with ADHD. it sounds like this nvld is a very early line in the sand which could encompass a whole manner of different specific disorders such as autism and ADHD.

Jason