Help making group situations bearable(and reducing pressure)

Post Reply New Topic

I need help figuring out how to make group situations work. I am not prepared for the whole group to know more than absolutely necessary (e.g. sensory issues are obvious), and am prepared to put in the effort to come across as 'normal' as possible.

I think problems are:
1. I unintentionally create a misleading appearance (e.g. doing things like not participating in conversation in noisy settings, not reciprocating body language, wearing sunglasses indoors etc)
2. I feel a lot of pressure from trying to figure out what is going on and what is expected from me without the social and non-verbal cues that others notice and understand.
3. I feel a lot of pressure from trying to compensate for my verbal and non-verbal communication problems and sensory problems.

I cant see anyway to improve number 1, I think number 2 could be improved though having a couple of people who can explain situations to me and number 3 through having a couple of people aware and all good with me being the way I am and being willing to let me know directly if I am missing something I really need to be noticing, help me give my thoughts in the group etc. Do you have any other suggestions to improve group settings?

I am wondering is whether it is worth telling one/two people in groups I am part of about my communication problems. Is it too much to ask someone else to help me out a bit as mentioned above? Is it worth letting group leaders know, so they dont unintentionally exclude me/understand if I bail for sensory reasons etc. If you think I should tell a couple of people, who needs to know, what do they need to know, how and when do I tell them?

Thanks heaps, I appreciate any feedback/advice

I have told people in a group situation about my difficulties - it didn't make any difference in the way they treated me (which is with acceptance) but it did help the way I felt about myself. Having told them, I feel less obliged to "pass" and more comfortable in reacting to things in a way that is comfortable with me. I do get the occasional giggle for my input, but I know it's not condescending - it's just because I have my own way of responding to things.

I also have trouble when I'm in a group situation.