Not wanting to be with people

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I don't like being with people. I like people and usually see their good side, rather than any faults they may have, but I don't like being with them. When I am interacting with someone I want the interaction to stop so that I can be by myself again. It is tiring work for me just being with someone else, regardless of how interesting they may be or how well we get on. It seems to me I was always like this, but it has got a little more pronounced I think, with the years. The only time I feel comfortable is when I am either (a) completely alone thinking my own private thoughts in my head, usually about myself, or (b) completely alone and focussed on my "special interest". I seem to lack a social side. The main value of my special interest is that if I had no special interest my life would consist of nothing, because I have no social side. It is like being a hamster in his wheel.

This observation seems a bit redundant given you're on this forum. Are you just sayin' or is this leading to a query of whether or not this is normal (unknown basis for comparison if that's where this is headed)... I don't know.

Being on a forum has nothing to do with being with people. This is not being with people; this is being on a forum. Being with people means face to face interaction. Face to face interaction is stressful for me and I try to avoid it (instinctively, not as a matter of policy). I was curious to see what response I would get. What I wrote is true. I find it difficult being with people. I don't find it difficult being on a forum. I was curious to know whether some other people on here might have the same experience. I would assume that as AS involves difficulties in social interaction other people on here would be able to relate to this feeling of aversion to social interaction, due to it not feeling natural. I do interact with people. I have a part-time job and even a long-term relationship, but I have to force myself to engage in the necessary social interaction to maintain these two things and I get hopelessly overloaded really quickly from social interaction. Just because this is the case doesn't mean I don't want to communicate with others. Otherwise I wouldn't be here on the forum, as you point out.

Definitely relate.

(And sometimes the forum is too chatty for me too. But so easy to leave and return at will, so it's good.)

Trusting people is hard. It's simple for me to go in a room and be completely optimistic and nice to people. Unfortunately, I often believe other people can only be mean to me and therefore overlook any human decency. It's a cycle that I wish to someday stop, though I don't think it will.

Yes, I am the same way. I am not anti social, just non social. I will socialize when necessary. Fortunately, it isn't often necessary. I'm okay with being on WP, as it's not in person, and I can post, read, and/or respond as I feel like it, and leave when I've had enough. I've done more socializing here, than in all the rest of my life. My NT extrovert father will be happy about that. He can't stand my being an introvert. He thinks of introversion as a form of mental illness, and is always trying to get me to stop being an introvert. I have no interest, or desire, or intention to stop being me, and being an introvert is part of being me.

As long as you aren't hurting anyone, just be happy being you.

Yes I can relate to what you are saying and I find I enjoy socializing and being around others when I feel more comfortable with them or when we like something in common. I am introverted by nature as well and I do enjoy socializing and talking more one on one or in a small group. I did enjoy when I read recently that introverts are better businessmen.

With the exception of my family, I prefer to not be around people. Socializing can wear me out. I often get tired of trying to interact with people---especially after a prolonged time. Even as a child I preferred my special intense interests to socializing.

That's me.

As far as interacting on internet forums goes, I find this far more comfortable than interacting with people face to face, but even this can occasionally be overwhelming.

For me the nice thing about forums is that I can ignore responses/posts I don't like, and I can carefully formulate any answer I have at my leisure.

When socializing I tend to either feel inadequate or bored.. but the boredom tends to induce inadequacy in me, because I feel inadequate to keep the conversation going and I lack the motivation to want to try.. yet I want to be polite, because I know how it feels to be rejected and would rather other people not feel that way.. but really, if I just know deep inside that this conversation is not going to benefit me and may even harm me, why should I continue it.. etc. etc. etc. etc.

Lately though I have learned to just end conversations I don't want to have one way or another.. if people get offended, eh. You should've been more interesting

My point was that you're on an AS and autism forum, so you are OBVIOUSLY not the only one here having difficulty speaking with people face to face.
With that said, I appreciate your difficulties.
I have a part time job as well and do whatever other social stuff I have to, and I am not using your presence here [on the forum] to "disprove" you or anything.