strategies for avoiding meltdown

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When I was younger, I had external meltdowns. Some nice person in a therapy group gave me a foam bat so I could beat the furniture instead of myself. Unfortunately, it got lost last time I moved.

I find when I overload in the past couple of years, the shutdown is more internal. I'm likely to just turn off, go blank, disappear.

But last night, I was extremely close to hitting a meltdown like when I was younger. I don't know what led up to it - I'm writing exams, so it could have been stress, I'm going to an ASD group tonight, so it could have been anxiety, there are people moving out of my house so it could have been noise, I hadn't really eaten very well that day.

I felt extremely tense... I've read the expression "like a spring wound too tightly" and that was actually how it felt. I felt like I was about to snap. Every little noise made me want to lash out at something to make it stop. I took a shower with the lights really dim, and usually if I lock myself in the bathroom with the water running and let myself stim, I feel better. It didn't help yesterday, though.

Then my housemate used the blender at midnight. By this point, I was in bed with the lights off and headphones on, listening to the same song repetitively, trying to feel better. I almost hit the roof. I could hear the blender over my music, and then he started whistling, which feels like nails being driven into my head even at the best of times, when I'm not in overload.

That's the closest I've gotten to self injurious behaviour in years. I was crying, yelling into my pillow, and I just wanted to smack myself and make it all stop.

My entire life, I've always ignored meltdowns. I push myself and push myself and act like I'm infallible until something snaps. I'm thinking maybe I should learn to balance myself a little better.

What usually causes your meltdowns? Have you found a way to head them off before you get to that point of no return?

I still feel kind of iffy today. I had to go write an exam, and I decided not to use my accommodations to write in a room alone, so I wrote it in a big room with 60 other people - big mistake. I couldn't think worth a damn. Too much noise.

Causes - stressful environment, prolonged interaction, too much focus on me from too many people

I generally grit my teeth and bear it, up until the point I have just enough functionality left to make a beeline for home. The times I judge well, I can make a reasonable excuse (some lie), and make an (almost) clean exit. The times I judge not so well, I'm just out the door without a word and nobody can stop me.

Don't know what would happen if I was cornered. Probably nothing good.

I have meltdowns too and luckily for me, most have all just been internal and when they happened, I would just avoid everyone I knew as much as possible until I felt better. But when my meltdowns happen, I become very depressed and miserable and it sometimes lasts for hours if I can't find a way to make myself feel better.

There was one time not long ago that I almost had a really bad meltdown and I almost lost control of myself. I came very close to smashing and throwing any object I could get my hands on and when I was at the breaking point when I thought I would snap, I kicked my dog because he annoyed me. Luckily it wasn't hard enough to injure him, but it was not good anyway. But my situation did improve once I had isolated myself and I even cried for a few minutes and that really helped.

It really is not good that so many people in today's society say that men should not cry because it is absolutely wrong. Because I've realized that doing it always helped me.

(edit) I forgot to mention the causes. For me it is too much stress and becoming frustrated over things also causes it. When I can't take anymore, I have to be alone. I was wondering, do meltdowns happen differently? I have noticed some that were described are very different than what happens with me. I don't usually ever hit myself or anything like that, but when it does happen, I stay angry for a very long time.

Last edited by Alfonso12345 on 23 Apr 2012, 5:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Cause: Overload - usually a combination of sensory and emotional.

Strategies that help: Deep pressure, cat and dogs, keeping something interesting to think about with me at all times (in my case my kindle), reduce sensory input, get out of the situation when it become too much rather than keeping pushing yourself, let yourself cry

i do meldown every day.. slightly mild, or more averege in the same day, or mild to suvere in one day, or just plain suvere suvere meltodwiing more than once in a day everyday mostly involving SIB that takes more than one person to calm me down, and grab my arms to stop me hitting my head and biting.

I do cry a lot, but for some reason aggressive feelings still seem to bottle up and I lash out every few months. The last time I had an outburst was back in January, so I am waiting for one pretty soon.
It's so easy for me to sit here now and think, ''right, the next time I feel an outburst coming on, I will do all my best to hold it back. How hard can it be?'', but at the very time I cannot hold it back. They just happen, and the more I start getting all het up then the more I start to shout and scream, then I get to the point when I don't know what else to do other than shout and scream and insult myself and other people. I start using inappropriate language, like if I was shouting and my mum said, ''ssshhh, next door will hear you!'' that makes me even more angry so I yell, ''I don't f*****g care!! !'' or, ''YOU shut the f**k up!! !'' Then afterwards I start regreting speaking like that and worrying if the neighbours did hear, and I feel guilty for overreacting and behaving this way.

It is normal to get angry, everybody gets angry, but they seem to do it in a more.....I can't find the word to describe the difference between an Aspie outburst and an NT outburst. NTs do get angry, that is no word of a lie, I've seen NTs get angry. They shout and swear like I do, but there is something about their behaviour that is so different to my behaviour. I shout and swear when I'm angry, and scream at the top of my lungs and throw myself on the floor and hit myself in the head. That is probably what is so different between my angry outbursts and an NT's angry outbursts. Most NTs (in their right mind) don't throw themselves on the floor and hit themselves in the head, unless they're on a lot of drugs or are having a nervous breakdown or something, but I'm just generalizing here - the majority of people just do things like shout and swear and slam doors and sometimes harm objects (yes, my uncle broke the coffee table in a temper and also threw a knife into the worktop when he was having an argument with his wife).

OK, I have gone slightly off-topic here.

This is what leaves me perplexed nowadays. For a time I truly believe I'm already capable to handle difficult situations, only to find out I'm not. It can virtually strike out of the blue any time.


Anger is positively an issue for me. Last time when I was cycling (it was last Saturday) a city bus pushed me down to the side of the road then into the stop, presumably just because I wasn't using the parallel but miserable co-called 'bicycle road(?)'. Cycling among motor-vehicles is already stressing for me, but such an endangering, arbitrary bossy action just plain makes me unpredictable. I shrugged, then he opened the side-window, started to say something along the lines why I don't allow him fully in the stop, and why I'm not using the f*****g b.road. Nothing about endangering, no sign of the slightest regret or excuse. So I said nothing (I knew it would have been completely in vain), and just hit the windscreen, and it happened to crack... Oh well... So clearing the place fast the best I could do. Needless to say, I'm not satisfied with my behavior. I didn't want to cause damage, I'm not particularly strong (I'm 164 lbs), but seemingly I couldn't modulate the force when it happened.

I also have smaller issues with for example trains being late, 'my seat' is taken on public transportation, too heavy traffic on the roads, etc, that sometimes can cause a meltdown, typically at home.

As for noises, nothing really works for me. Fortunately I don't have serious issues with them these days. I believe there is a 'cognitive edge' to it. I mean, if you keep letting those noises getting at you, allowing them to make you upset and nervous, it's worse. I suggest try to improve insulation between the rooms if it's possible, or somehow manage to weaken the noise. Try to speak with your housemate and strike a deal with them there's no noise after 10 pm (for example). Promise you'll keep to it, too.

Personally, I don't like suppressing noises all the time with music or generated noise (e.g. white noise), they are also tiring for me after a while.

It might as well be stress building up, too, as you wrote. In this case, some kind of active relaxation, physical exercise, meditation might help (hiking, walking, cycling, swimming). I figure breast-stroke is both meditation and exercise at the same time.

There could be any number of underlying physical causes (or maybe none).

The thing is, check out and work on these variables one at a time to see if it helps.
Excessive caffeine, soda, sugar, energy drinks. Medication, especially antidepressants (either starting or stopping too quickly).

Good luck!

This is exactly the way I feel about it---good post in my opinion. It's the sensory overload that usually gets me. It feels like a jet engine blaring at me from all directions that keeps getting louder---I have to escape. Having the interests to fall on definitely helps---especially if I can try to settle down with them in a place away from the sensory overload. And crying can be a good thing. Crying can help wash away the overload.

Overload causes my meltdowns. A combination of emotional and sensory overload. Thing is I always bottle everything up until I'm so angry/annoyed/frustrated/sad that I completely explode (not literally). That's where I'm at right now by the way. I can feel a meltdown's coming but I don't know when. It's like a time bomb. I know that sometime in the near future I'll rock back and forth, pace, hit my head with my hands or bang my head in a wall, hit stuff, throw stuff and swear. But I can't control it.

As for trying to prevent a meltdown I have no idea how to do so. Trying to figure that out myself. I don't know how to handle meltdowns. If you ever figure it out, let me know.

Meltdowns, tantrums, overload and many other terms are used in many ways by people, so it can easily become confusing trying to define one term or another.
Angry or violent behaviors were for a long time associated as a part of, or even indeed AS a mental illness. Today it is widely recognized that is not the case, however autism, bipolar et al can set the stage to make someone more prone to angry or violent meltdowns.
I call this Immature Adrenaline Systems Overreactivity (IASO). IASO is itself not a mental illness nor a component of one. Even people with no mental illness diagnosis can experience IASO. This new diagnosis is not covered by DSM-IV or DSM-V, but has been very successful in helping patients manage and eliminate such behaviors. The regimine is based on adrenaline acting medication, not psychiatric drugs.