Aspies with possible other disorders?

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My boyfriend of 2 years has aspergers, he didnt tell me until we met in person after dating online for a whole year. Now we live together for the past 10 months. Well I keep finding out he lies, he lies about talking to exes and other women Ive caught him sexting/flirting. I dont think he would cheat physically which leads me to believe he has more than aspergers. maybe a pathological liar or narcissistic disorder. I know he has low self esteem and craves praise from others especially women. All his relationships fail, this one is barely holding on as I struggle to understand him. He also lies to friends telling them he works 60 to 80 hrs a week when in reality im lucky if he puts in 20 a week. Anyone else have these added issues with a loved one or yourselves?

I highly suspect I had Fetal alcohol syndrome as a kid. Does one even "outgrow" that? If not, then I guess I could have Fetal alcohol syndrome. I often wonder if I really have autism/Asperger's Syndrome and not just severe Schizoid or Schizotypal personality disorder. Obsessions/special intrests have always been my strongest "autistic" trait, and I'm not aware of any other condition that causes those. I've had problems with sensory stuff which most would assume was just part of the autism/Asperger's Syndrome, but I've come across reports of NT's having Sensory Integration Disorder.

Obsessions/special intrests are the only trait I seem to have that can't be idenified as another condition or disorder; with the exception of those, Schizoid personality disorder seems to be the most accurate. Some even belive that Schizoid personality disorder is just an outdated term for Asperger's or refer to Asperger's as childhood onset Schizoid personality disorder. Whatever the case, I'm practicaly the poster child for it. I never wanted friends, even as a kid, but aparently most kids and people with autism do want friends but just don't know how to make them. I just can't relate to that because I have NEVER wanted them in the first place.

I can kind of agree there. Occassionally people think I'm their friend but I could really take them or leave them. I tolerate my "friends" but I can honestly say I would be at least 20% happier if I didn't have to deal with any of them, or anyone at all.

I'm kind of new to the whole AS thing and I'm continually finding things that I do that either line up with AS traits or with other comorbid disorders. So far the only thing I've managed to really pin down is Executive Functioning Disorder, although I have significant social anxiety when I'm around more than about twenty people. But I can be in a huge lecture hall with 200 people as long as there's no one within three feet of me on any side, which isn't uncommon because no one wants to sit next to the weird girl.

I also have overwhelming urges to do certain things repetitively, like hand washing or touching things (or avoiding them like the plague). I don't have the feeling that something bad will happen if I don't do it, but it continually nags at me until I either give in or start focusing in on one of my special interests.

Basically, I'm pretty sure my AS is comorbid with EFD, mild social anxiety, and mild OCD. However, none of these things cause me serious problems and I've learned to cope with them so there's no need for me to get a formal DX.

I probably have executive dysfunction. After reading enough stuff here about it, I started to figure maybe I am not lazy after all and I have this too. Maybe I am not being lazy when I find simple things hard to do or stressful.

I also suspect I have social anxiety and that comes from my past experience due to the AS. For a while I didn't think I had it and I was just shy because it didn't seem to fit and then I started to reconsider that maybe I do have it.

Lying in itself can be addictive. When I was 13 I lied to make myself sound more interesting. Now every time I lie it's like I've done something terrible. The guilt is too much to bear. Stealing was quite addictive too. I also have ADHD so maybe those two things were just very stimulating. As a kid it felt great when people believed a lie.

To the OP:

Your boyfriend sounds like he's not the greatest person- he cheats via text, lies, etc. Does he have any qualities that you like?

I probably have OCD and executive dysfunction in addition to my Asperger's.

I have PTSD, Depression and Anxiety.......and belive it or not I actually got kind of concerned yesterday when the first thing I did when I started feeling anxious was frantically start cleaning the table I was sitting at even though all the irritating disorganized items on the table had nothing to do with why I was anxious.

Thats the thing, I dont think he thinks its wrong or realizes its hurtful, I dont think he realizes when he lies a lot either. He does have great qualities too and im just finding out a lot of stuff after 2 years together so im trying to work it out. is it his aspergers? is he narcissistic? compulsive liar?

If you think he genuinely doesn't understand why or that it is hurtful, and you haven't spoken with him about it, that should be your first course of action. Help him understand why it is hurtful. It shouldn't be too difficult to understand, provided he values this relationship as much as you seem to.

I have told him, he gets defensive and says hes not sleeping with anyone so whats the problem? sigh...I just feel stuck since he kept the aspergers from me, I didnt have a choice if I wanted to deal with it or not because by that time I was already in love....

I can understand why he would keep AS from you. Is he mild by any chance? If so, I find it hard to tell people I have it because I seem so normal and people may never guess. So it's embarrassing to tell anyone about it because I don't know if they would believe me or not or start making false assumptions about me having it define me as if it describes me. People that don't know much about it nor ever heard of it may believe me and just think "oh that explains why" like why I am always an outcast at work or why I don't talk much at work or why I am kept to myself or why I seem odd or rude or act weird. People make all sorts of weird assumptions about me when they know I have it just by experience by assuming why I do certain things or act certain way or think a certain way and I just think it's my personality than AS.


I knew an aspie who was also a chronic liar. He lied all the time and about things he did making himself out to be the innocent victim. I don't think he had NPD, he was just a chronic liar and some people just are not honest people so they make stuff up all the time. Even if they do tell the truth, they stretch it and add stuff to it making it a lie even though part of it is true. As my dad says, some people are unable to not lie and I don't understand how hard is it to not make something up.

Sometimes people lie about themselves to look better and to get people to like them. I knew an aspie online who did that for this very reason. I would try telling these people I like them better when they don't make stuff up. Have you tried telling your bf this?

I also suspect one of my aspie friends online lies to me because lot of things he says sounds unbelievable but they are good stories but I don't know for sure they are true so I can't tell him to quit making it all up. He knows I don't believe him and he doesn't seem to care if I do or not. But we have been great friends for almost eight years.

he is mild in most ways, but he doesnt seem ashamed to tell everyone else. Idk I have asked him not to lie but he denies lying so thats kind of pointless. I was hoping for a partner to have fun with but all we do is sit home because of his anxiety and he doesnt work much so we have no money. sigh

I would imagine you can't outgrow it.