Has conventional "talk" therapy ever worked for yo

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I've been seeing therapists on and off for 6 years or so. Maybe 5 or 6 different therapists in total.

Only one of them really worked well with me, and I can't figure out why she worked so well, so I can't replicate it. I think it was a combination of how she was able to word things so I could understand it and the fact that I was going through a lot at the time and actually had pressing issues to talk about.

My current therapist is a school therapist, and I see her maybe once a month, but for the past 5 sessions or so, she ends it really early. After 20-30 minutes, she says, "Is there anything else?" And when I can't come up with anything, she ends the session. Maybe this is an indication that I don't need therapy any more. Really, the only reason I keep going is because I want to tell someone about my accomplishments, vent about my problems, but I don't have any friends to do that for me, so at least this person who is being paid to listen to me will do it. I get my sessions for free because she's a university counsellor and I'm a student at the university.

She says she doesn't know much about autism. When I got my diagnosis, I wondered if maybe now we'd finally be able to understand each other and she could help me with my social problems, but it didn't work out that way. She asked for me to e-mail her some info about autism, and I wrote her a long, eloquent e-mail describing the symptoms of autism that affect me most clearly. If I'm asked to talk about something in our session, I am usually unable to marshal my thoughts into a coherent sentence, but if I can type it, I can explain things much better.

It's been a month since our last session and I sent her the autism info the day after our last session, but when I got there today, she hadn't read it. She said, "Just tell me about it. Enlighten me." But of course, I couldn't really explain through words. I tried to explain to her that I could communicate more effectively through writing. I was frustrated that she'd had a month to read what she asked me to send her, but she hadn't done it.

She decided that my sensory problems and communication and social issues were caused by avoidance. She said that the autism was not the problem, that avoidance was. I didn't know how to explain to her that the only thing that causes me to avoid stuff is actually my autism. I actually put myself out there frequently. I am a member of several school clubs and serve on their executive. Despite the social anxiety and the mistakes and the snubs, I continue to get involved in things. She thinks that if I just put myself out there and experience more, my problems will go away.

I think it was Temple Grandin in one of her books that said that NTs can learn this way. They learn social rules by socializing, and they naturally pick up the experience they need to understand. But autistic people need clear instruction. They can't learn to socialize by just putting themselves in situations. I told that to her, but I don't know if she understood.

I think it might be time to stop seeing her. But what I really want is help managing the autistic symptoms, the executive dysfunction, the sensory overload, the social confusion, the anxiety. Maybe a therapist could help me, but I need one who either understands autism, or is willing to read about it in order to understand what I need. My current therapist doesn't seem to be this person.

Has therapy worked for anyone? Where should I look for help?

To be honest, this therapist really doesn't sound like she gives a crap about you. She simply doing her job because shes getting paid to and shes probably not suppose to turn you down as a client. I've run into people like that and it gets really annoying. The fact that she ends her sessions early is an indicator that she doesn't really care to see you. Shes not reading about autism, shes not trying to help you. Id recommend you stop seeing her and find someone who specializes in autism. However at the university, you are getting your sessions for free and outside specialists may charge a lot and that might be a problem for you.

Is this 20 minute session useful for you? It might be short, but do you really want to spend a full hour with this person every month when 20 minutes might be enough?

I'm seeing a counsellor, nothing profound is coming from it, but she is giving me quite a lot of practical advice and helping me to keep on top of other things such as doctors appointments and work issues. It's useful and while it's free I'm happy enough with it.

Jason

It's not very useful. It helps to have someone to tell my news to so that someone knows what's going on in my life, but that's all we do. It's like she's acting as a paid friend. As soon as I've updated her as to what's going on with me, she ends the session. The only other thing that came out of today's session was her opinion that I'm "avoiding" and that if I just put myself in social situations, my problems will go away, which I mentioned in my original post. I will restate that NTs can learn to socialize by putting themselves in those situations because they naturally learn. Autistic people need it to be spelled out clearly to them, they can't learn by doing.

She does a good job of pretending to care, if she really doesn't. Then again, I misread people constantly and take them at their word so I likely wouldn't know if she cares or not. I guess the saying, "actions speak louder than words" can apply here, because her actions, like ending sessions early and not reading the information I send her, definitely make it seem like she doesn't care.

I would love to see a professional who knows something about autism but I really can't afford to pay for someone privately. I am seeing my family doctor on Wednesday to discuss the report from the specialist who diagnosed me, and I'm hoping to get my hands on the report tomorrow so I can read it before we talk about it.

What I might be able to do is, I might be able to work with an occupational therapist for free. The psychiatric service that treats my bipolar disorder has occupational therapists on staff, and I've seen one of them once or twice a few years ago to work on social skills, but now that I have the AS diagnosis, we might be able to work more specifically on skills related to autism.

I honestly don't even know where to begin with that horrorshow you're describing as a counselor. All I'll say is that it sounds like whether or not you're ready to stop talk therapy, you're probably ready to stop it with her. Is there any chance you could switch to someone else? From what you're describing I don't see how anyone could be worse.

In all honesty, of the three diagnoses I'm blessed with, the only one that seems to have been helped by talk therapy is depression. Talking about the others, Asperger's or ADHD-Inattentive doesn't seem to be doing much. In fact, I sometimes feel that talking about them MAKES me more depressed, if that makes any sense.

For an adult, perhaps a Cognitive or Cognitive-Behavioral approach might make more sense? But good luck finding someone who has expertise in those areas, AND has at least a fair grounding in ASD issues. Never mind getting your insurance or in your case university to pay for it. (FWIW, I haven't the foggiest idea what approach my therapist uses. I've been meaning to broach the topic, but I can't seem to find a polite way to phrase the question. Which is sheer silliness on my part, since he seems not to take offense at anything. Personal foible, I guess.)

In answer to your question, no it hasn't - I find it difficult to talk a lot of the time, but it's even worse if it is about me or things I am struggling with. I had the opportunity to see a counsellor through work but face-to-face was impossible so we tried it by email - that was a bit better in that I could say what I wantes to say but I didn't really find it helpful in anyway, so stopped after about 4 months.

With the psychiatrist and GP, I usually take my laptop and often type either just bits when I'm really struggling to express things properly (typing slows things down enough to help with this), or on a bad day - when my speech has pretty much shut down due to stress/over stimulation - I might end up typing though the whole appointment.

I have been referred to the specialist psychotherapy service which I'm rather concerned about as they primarily offer intensive talk therapy... we'll see, I guess.

It sounds like you don't find your current counsellor very helpful so perhaps it is time to stop seeing her. Perhaps there is another counsellor within the Uni counselling service you could see instead that might be a better "fit" for you.

Yes, sometimes.

The kind of therapy that works best for me is when I use it to try to solve specific problems. Some therapists seem to want to talk about my childhood or the fallout from the abuse I experienced or the nasty things my mom taught me about what it means to be disabled--but those kinds of things have never been particularly worthwhile. In my experience I work through those things on my own, given enough time to think and understand myself and my past.

However, because of my cognitive quirks, it's often very difficult for me to switch tracks, and that means that when I have a problem I can't find a solution for by using the first strategy I think of, I am often unable to see a solution at all. Having someone else with a different perspective is helpful when it comes to solving the problems I'm stuck on; and when a therapist is willing to do that sort of interactive problem-solving, that's been the most effective sort of therapy.

In a way I think you have answered your own question here. Your therapist is not an expert in Aspergers and shows no interest in even learning about it. Perhaps you need two separate people - one a simple friend that you confide in about day to day things, your achievements and failures etc (maybe you can find that person here) and the other a professional who understands Aspergers and can give you the proper post-diagnostic support that you need.

I think it is ok with the right therapist/counselor. I am on my 4th counselor, having been in counseling on and off for years. I have only just now found a person I seem to work well with.

I think it is vital to have a person who really understands autism (for my asperger's) as my last counselor was interested in it and might eventually become really good with asperger's but right now it was just frustrating to have some of my problems minimized or be told that I should do certain things to help (but that I had tried before and did not help). The guy I see now has specialized in autism and other disorders that have high stress and thinking/learning differences in adults (instead or relying on information about how it works in kids, and it is great. He works with me. If I have trouble with avoidance (mostly because of anxiety) he will help me do it, or finds someone I can ask for help, and he follows up to see if I asked for help in a non-threatening way. Finding someone that does talk therapy but also assists you with your problems is what I have found too be important. He has helped me file for accommodations and to know what accommodations to ask for, he also has helped me look for jobs that might fit my interests and needs.

It is also important to have someone who can anticipate and bring up stuff to talk about, and a person who can do a lot of explaining and talking. I am not a big talker (unless it is on my special interest) and if the session were left to me to talk it would fail.

He also brings up issues. I am not very self aware, so it is important to have a person who can bring up stuff I struggle with and who can search out areas that I need help with. He did a few assessments (he is a psychologist not just a counselor) to find out areas that I need help with or am struggling with or am concerned with all without me having to name the issues myself out of the blue. There were no questions asking "what are you having trouble with?" but if I do have a problem that I want to bring up, I am free to do so at anytime and change the subject of the conversation.

It's worked very well for me before, but I went to therapy with a particular goal in mind and the therapist and I both worked toward that goal. The therapist would listen to me and guide me toward that goal, and tell me what I needed to do to achieve that goal. Once the goal was reached, therapy was complete.

I'm wondering if it's not working so well because 1. it doesnt sound like there are any goals that you both are working to achieve, so the therapy really has no foundation. 2. You' said she was a school counselor at the college, so this may really not be her field. I would imagine that she mainly talks to students and helps them resolve a crisis, or a short term problem, and possibly also has ongoing sessions throughout the school year with students whose personal doctors, parents, or the student themself requests that she follow.

I would suggest that you ask her, or the medical director of her department, for a referral to another counselor who is experienced or at least familiar with autism. If they don't have someone else appropriate on staff, I would ask about being referred to an outside counselor and ask if the university could still pay for it, as they don't have anyone on staff with any experience or knowledge about autism. It's worth a shot.

I wouldn't say that she doesn't care, from what you have described I'd say she's out of her league and trying to fly blind.

Good luck.

I don't know, but it's been therapeutic to meet you all.

Talk therapy can be beneficial, if you find the right therapist. The person you are seeing right now doesn't sound like the right one for you.

Having been in therapy a lot during my life and having had more therapists than I care to remember, I know that it is tough to end a relationship with a therapist, even one you know isn't doing you much good. You have shared things with this person and they may be closer to you than any other human being in your life right now. But I think you can do better with someone else.

No

Wasn't ever told anything I didn't know, and sometimes the advice was quite wrong when applied to me (ASD). This was from a few different generic psychos.

I haven't had much success with therapy.

Only when the person specialized in ASDs.

Currently I'm seeing someone weekly and she's helping, but she's specialized in ASDs and ADHD.

Firstly, no, talk therapy has never worked for me in the past because it's very hard for me to trust people and let my walls down, and most therapists expect that right off the block I should be willing to tell them my whole life story. I'm a very guarded person and therapists don't like that. Most therapists also seem to think that they are always right and the patient is always wrong. After all, we must be crazy or else we wouldn't need therapy, right?! Because of that I have left numerous therapists in the dust because they couldn't get their heads out of their bums. And don't even get my started on that dreaded "F" word..."feelings," blech!

That being said, I do have a very understanding therapist now who works primarily with Autism, so she has been able to help me more than pretty much any other therapist, and I trust her more than I've trusted anybody in years, maybe even my whole life. So there are worthy therapists out there, they just take a while to find.

Secondly, have you looked into alternate forms of therapy? There is animal assisted therapy, rec therapy, all different kinds. Maybe that would be more helpful?