Page 1 of 2 [ 18 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Colinn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,192

15 May 2012, 8:03 pm

In this wide spectrum of ours it seems to be commonly associated by others outside it as having poor social skills. Granted, in real life I've not met many people with aspergers, but some of those I have met have been able to hold conversations quite well especially when discussing a topic of mutual interest. I personally think I fall into this category as I enjoy having conversations when I feel my mind is being stimulated and I'm quite open when doing so, but at the same time find small talk and faking interest in a topic to be irritating and tiresome. I'm curious how other members feel on this. Do you enjoy conversations under the right circumstances? Or dislike the process all together?



Atomsk
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Apr 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,423

15 May 2012, 8:05 pm

As soon as the topic changes to a special interest, I become extremely chatty and enjoy conversation immensely. Other than that, I'm bad at conversing and I dislike it - one word/syllable answers are common, as well as flat out ignoring the person talking to me.



FishStickNick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Right here, silly!

15 May 2012, 8:15 pm

It very much depends on the circumstances. I have nothing to say when I'm not interested in a conversation, but if the topic is something I am interested in, I can easily dominate a conversation.



Bloodheart
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jan 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,194
Location: Newcastle, England.

15 May 2012, 8:16 pm

I'm very chatty when the conditions are right.

There are some people I'd never feel comfortable with (no idea why - unfortunately right now this seems to include my boyfriends brother) but for the most part whether or not I'm comfortable with people enough to chat depends on the environment more than the people. Granted I struggle with two-way conversation, I find it hard to know when is appropriate to start talking and can get tied-up in whatever I'm talking about, but for the most part I'm okay. I'm actually told I'm far more chatty than I realise - last time I went into LUSH I was very put-off by how friendly and talkative the shop assistants were so kept trying to avoid contact with the, but my boyfriend informs me that actually I did really well and actually chatted with one shop assistant for a good five minutes - go me!


_________________
Bloodheart

Good-looking girls break hearts, and goodhearted girls mend them.


Colinn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2012
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,192

15 May 2012, 8:37 pm

Bloodheart wrote:
I'm very chatty when the conditions are right.

There are some people I'd never feel comfortable with (no idea why - unfortunately right now this seems to include my boyfriends brother) but for the most part whether or not I'm comfortable with people enough to chat depends on the environment more than the people. Granted I struggle with two-way conversation, I find it hard to know when is appropriate to start talking and can get tied-up in whatever I'm talking about, but for the most part I'm okay. I'm actually told I'm far more chatty than I realise - last time I went into LUSH I was very put-off by how friendly and talkative the shop assistants were so kept trying to avoid contact with the, but my boyfriend informs me that actually I did really well and actually chatted with one shop assistant for a good five minutes - go me!


I feel very much like you. If I know I have virtually nothing in common with someone or simply dislike the traits they have, I will go into more or less shutdown mode so I don't have to talk to them longer than needed. I also badly time when I speak, as sometimes I pick up on a pause and I think they are finished then speak as they do, it irritates me!



bnky
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 486
Location: England

15 May 2012, 8:45 pm

Oh, I can be very chatty if I get going.
The conversation will usually go all over the place down sidetracks and I'll remember later that I left loads of threads hanging.
I talk when the other person is talking... All the time... Even when I realise I've done it I don't stop :oops:
If I start I don't know when or how to stop :oops:



IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

15 May 2012, 9:21 pm

I really enjoy talking about my interests and my imagination. I can literally talk for hours about those. But I have a hard time caring or paying attention if the topic is about anything else.



btbnnyr
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,359
Location: Lost Angleles Carmen Santiago

15 May 2012, 9:27 pm

I can be verry merry berry chatty. I can talk about many different topics, because many different topics interest me.

For eggsample, if someone talks about their hair, then I can talk about lice that live in hair.



TheRani
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Female
Posts: 184
Location: Louisiana

15 May 2012, 10:39 pm

I could talk about things that interest me all day. In fact, when someone tries to change the subject while I'm talking about one of my special interests, I happily change it back. Or sometimes I'll wander off and think about it for a while, and then come back like an hour later and pick up where I left off.


_________________
Ichigo: "Dude.. your sister is Scary."


AspieOtaku
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2012
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,051
Location: San Jose

16 May 2012, 3:20 am

I normally dont talk much unless I am talked to and when a subject of interest pops up then I will talk like crazy. Mention Anime geology cars and I will be talking up a storm.


_________________
Your Aspie score is 193 of 200
Your neurotypical score is 40 of 200
You are very likely an aspie
No matter where I go I will always be a Gaijin even at home. Like Anime? https://kissanime.to/AnimeList


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

16 May 2012, 6:03 am

I can be quite chatty, if I've got used to the person and they are comfortable to be with and I get on with them and they're not the type to interrupt or anything like that.

Otherwise, no, I am not the chatty type. I can't just go upto random people at a party and start chatting. And I don't think I will ever be able to chat in a group.


_________________
Female


Ataraxis
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 1 May 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 39
Location: North Idaho

16 May 2012, 6:23 am

Atomsk wrote:
As soon as the topic changes to a special interest, I become extremely chatty and enjoy conversation immensely. Other than that, I'm bad at conversing and I dislike it - one word/syllable answers are common, as well as flat out ignoring the person talking to me.


That is me exactly. If it's about one of my interests, I get very talkative and even quite animated, "talking with my hands" as some people say. And when people try going down a different conversational path, I usually just ignore what they've said and bring up another point about my interest. It's a pretty strange feeling, because I can see myself doing it, almost as an outside observer. It's like someone flips a switch and suddenly I'm gregarious and witty, and can talk and talk and talk. But when the subject gets changed, it's like someone shuts the switch off and I go back to quietly observing what's going on around me, or I wander off and find something else to occupy me, usually the latter. I have no patience if people are talking about something that holds no appeal for me.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 181 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 40 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
INTJ
What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't care.


EstherJ
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,041
Location: The long-lost library at Alexandria

16 May 2012, 6:37 am

Ataraxis wrote:
Atomsk wrote:
As soon as the topic changes to a special interest, I become extremely chatty and enjoy conversation immensely. Other than that, I'm bad at conversing and I dislike it - one word/syllable answers are common, as well as flat out ignoring the person talking to me.


That is me exactly. If it's about one of my interests, I get very talkative and even quite animated, "talking with my hands" as some people say. And when people try going down a different conversational path, I usually just ignore what they've said and bring up another point about my interest. It's a pretty strange feeling, because I can see myself doing it, almost as an outside observer. It's like someone flips a switch and suddenly I'm gregarious and witty, and can talk and talk and talk. But when the subject gets changed, it's like someone shuts the switch off and I go back to quietly observing what's going on around me, or I wander off and find something else to occupy me, usually the latter. I have no patience if people are talking about something that holds no appeal for me.


Flipping a switch...I like that analogy. It's like that for me, except that I have one switch for: interested in the conversation, but only to observe, because I have learned to shut up or risk dominating the entire thing and losing the topic.

People tend to change topics when I start to "take over." I think it's because I will take control and then no one will be interested....
Thus, I never get to talk about my interests. Ever.
Well, that's an exaggeration.



bnky
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Nov 2011
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 486
Location: England

16 May 2012, 6:42 am

btbnnyr wrote:
For eggsample, if someone talks about their hair, then I can talk about lice that live in hair.

Haha -that's brilliant. Bet they'd rather let you chose topic of conversation after that :lol:



zombiegirl2010
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2012
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 273
Location: edge of sanity and bliss

16 May 2012, 7:12 am

Like others have said, if it is a special interest...I can go on and on and on...other than that, I much prefer to not speak to me so that I do not feel obliged to speak to them (when I was a kid, I would simply ignore people but as an adult I've realized that if you do this to too many people...you end up "burning bridges" and when you need a job or help in some way, no one is willing because they don't like you--so I oblige most unless they are out-right douchebags).

I have learned a few ways of pretending to be interested, although I can't really manage to implement them when I'm overly tired/overstimulated/distracted--hyperfocused, etc.


_________________
Your Aspie score: 193 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 7 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie


Emilykin
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 28

16 May 2012, 8:30 am

I know that I can have a very decent conversation with someone (usually a family member) when they are talking about something I am interested in. I in general feel physically uncomfortable when I talk...it makes my head feel funny and my own voice is too loud for me to listen to for long. I think I pass as friendly to public people but I never linger around for a conversation to happen...I get out of stores and talk to people outside of my family as less as I can. That's how it is for me.