"Everyone has those traits"

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Amongst other things, I am hypersensitive to touch and texture. I can't (not won't; I physically can't) eat certain foods and can'r cope with having dirty or sticky hands. I've always been this way and am getting no better. In fact, I've had panic attacks if I've not been able to wash my hands.

There was a discussion on another forum I post on about Autism and I stated the above. Someone replied "oh, we all get that" and was generally belittling me and saying that it's something I should be able to cope with. Um, it's recorded that as a 16 year old, I was obsessed with hand washing. It's a well-known fact that I'm a fussy eater (without the wheat intolerance) and that I can't tolerate things such as vaseline and the like. Actually, I can't tolerate most body washing products.

How do you explain to people that it's different to what NTs experience? Yes, many will end up washing their hands if they get dirty; but I don't know of anyone who can't physically tolerate foods due to texture.

I know people who can't physically tolerate certain foods due to texture. NTs have their own tastes aswell, they don't all eat anything that is put in front of them. My friend used to want to throw up when eating yogurts with the lumps in because she just hated the idea of eating yoghurt with bits in it. It made her feel sick, and I think she's still like it to this day. Also I know another person who can't eat coconut-flavoured things, like the Bounty chocolate, due to the texture of it.

I can't eat parsnips, and I can't understand how people can like them because they physically make me heave. I just cannot eat them, not because of the texture, but because of the taste.

But maybe Aspies have more of an issue with a variety of different textures of lots of food categories, what could become a signifficant sensory issue that differs from the norm. Like I always say, everyone forgets things at times but it doesn't mean everyone has Alzheimer's. So maybe it's the same explanation with food intolerence, anyone could physically dislike a certain food and not be Aspies, but with NTs it's not a frequent food issue, whereas with Aspies and Autistics it could be more of a visible issue.

it seems to me that is isn't the existence of texture sensitivity as much as the degree of texture/taste sensitivity and the number of items that trigger it. I doubt many NT's buy a dozen of the same TV dinner as part of the week's groceries. Anyone looking at my cart in the check-out line would have little difficulty sorting out which single-serve items are for me, and which are for my mostly NT husband -- if there's more than 4, it's mine, in which case there's probably a nice round number like 10. If there is only one or two it's his. The only times I would buy more than two of his items would be if there's a supply problem where the store doesn't always have it, or a really good sale.

I can't eat leafy green salads. I like the color, but can't stand the texture. Also, when I have tried to nibble on them, they all tasted like grass. They look and taste like rabbit food. I am not a rabbit.

I can't stand most cooked veggies. My mom used to always over cook them into a slimy, tasteless, disgusting mess. I have occasionally managed to get down some stir fried veggies, as long as they are not cooked in sesame oil, because they are not over cooked. I hate the taste of sesame oil. I think I would be able to manage some roast veggies, too, but not tomatoes. I can only stand tomatoes in BBQ sauce and in some non alcohol marinades. I hate tomatoes any other way, and I don't care for alcohol.

I have always been considered a picky eater. SIGH! That's part of life as an Aspie.

I made the mistake once of putting sesame dressing on a salad, that must be like a double whammy for you, I took 1 bite and it was one of the foulest things I ever tasted. I get grief overload when I see food being wasted and especially when I have to do it myself, but yeah, everybody does that

Honestly, you know what my advice is for this? I don't want to bash this forum, I post here enough, but its really better to open up to someone, like a close family or a doctor/psychiatrist to confide in. Not all of us have the option for the latter..or even the first. I'm very spoiled in that matter. Other forums are even worse and TONS of people are just so sick of the popularity of "aspergers" and I've seen people flat out say stuff like "I've always known autism/aspergers was a flat out lie." Sure buddy, try living in my shoes. Plus you've got sites like ED who openly satire autism because of super stars like Chrischan. I've seen this attitude on so called "pro-aspergers/autism" places too.

Its nice to post on forums, but even on the most autism focused ones I find people are generally insensitive or say "Heh, get over it. We all get that.". Truth be told you can't really describe it to anyone and get them to care unless someone has truly suffered from a problem just like your's.

I do understand though. What I HATE is when someone says "Well, you have this one problem? Just get over it and man up." I say I understand because I've had issues with very loud noises since growing up and refuse to wear certain fabrics and other stuff. Its not as severe as your problem, but I can relate.

I've heard that myself.

The odd thing is, it's true. Everyone does have those traits.

Autism is a spectrum that blends into the typical quite smoothly. We only diagnose it when people with autistic traits have problems they need help with. Autistic traits are floating around the population, found in NTs everywhere.

Autism is just what happens when those otherwise typical traits are expressed in an extreme fashion.

So the NT down the street may very well know what it is like to be overwhelmed by noise--he's just not overwhelmed as often or as severely as an autistic person would be. He has probably made a social faux pas; only not as severely or as frequently as an autistic person would.

It can be beneficial because it allows NTs to have some empathy due to common experiences; but it can be a drawback if you assume that the difference in severity is inconsequential.

The only way I've found to get people to understand is to be able to compare it to what they go through.

If there is something that is extremely negative for them, which when they describe it souns like a daily activity to you, putting it in those terms is the most effective way I've seen to get people to understand that the order of magnitude is so different. Everyone has preferences, not everyone has problems because they react so strongly to so common of things.

What makes it worse, is that it was a moderator on a forum aimed at disabled people and their carers. Whilst I'm not saying that we should all understand everyone's disabilities, we shouldn't judge them. Which is exactly what this person did. She decided how bad my issues are - she has no idea at all what any of this is like for me. Just because I never mentioned them, (because it's irrelevant / I've not needed any advice) doesn't mean they're minor or insignificant.

I think I would say 'You may all get it but not in the same way as somebody with autism would. It like someone with a brain tumor explaining the agony they're in and you saying "yeah well we all get headaches".'

This is a great analogy, except for the fact that brain tumors are generally fatal and need medical attention immediately. I only say this because if you made the comparison as*holes would probably mock and laugh at you.

Not to downplay autism, but its like with my old friend, he thought all mental conditions were BS and you needed to MAN UP unless you were low functioning and profusely drooling every second while walking with a slow Igor style gait. A lot of other people feel this way about autism, especially HFA and ESPECIALLY aspergers. It really pisses me off a lot.

Have sympathy for them. We were born with Asperger's. They were born with stupid.

First i'd just like to say there are foods i can't eat because of the texture and i'm an NT (I really hate that word i feel like i'm being lumped in with the mindless masses lol) For me it's potato salad, macaroni salad or anything in that same catagory just the thought of putting it in my mouth makes me want to throw up i can almost feel it sliding down my throat it's horrible.

I'm sorry you were treated so poorly on other forums my boyfriend is an aspie and the thought of telling him to just get over something he can't help seems like the meanest thing i could do to him.

As for your question of how to explain it all i can think of is instead of just saying i can't eat this or this tell them you can't it that and then why. For me if i had to explain the potato salad i would say things like the way the mayo coats my mouth and throat it feels greasy, slimy, and it makes me feel like i can't breathe.

A lot of times you're talking to someone who doesn't want to admit to having a problem which might label them different, they'll generalise and say you don't have it, which is really invalidating and can be seen as bullyish behaviour.