Aspergers Syndrome and complex emotions/interactions

Post Reply New Topic

It has been suggested to me by a dr that I may have Aspergers Syndrome. I'm on a waiting list for assessment. Personally I don't think I have Aspergers but I admit I don't know much about it.

I am wondering if people with Aspergers have difficulties coping with mixed emotions? I have quite a lot of difficulty with this and find it quite difficult to get other people to understand how this is for me. For example: I can't like someone and also be angry with them without getting really anxious. I like my emotions to be clear and seperate from each other so I know how to act and behave. I find it very difficult to know how to feel and act towards someone who has upset/angered me if I care/like them. Is this an Aspergic trait?

I am aware I have quite a lot of social anxiety but I am unsure if the origins are due to Aspergers Syndrome. Generally I feel I am quite sociable with others in situations I know well and I am comfortable with. I also feel I can interact appropriately in situations that are 'new' to the extent where the other person won't notice I am anxious or unsure, likely they may even believe me to be confident. But I do a lot of negotiations and compromises in my mind to 'keep up appearances'. For example, the other day I was at a reception for an appointment and got involved in light banter with the staff about turning up to the appointment the week before by mistake. At the appropriate end to the banter I walked to sit down in the waiting room. For everyone else there was seemingly no problem with this interaction but for me there were hidden consequences. See, because I had interacted with them I felt I could no longer use the bathroom opposite purely because I knew that when I came out I would have had to have raised my eyesbrows in recognition and smiled. I don't know why that extra interaction felt like too much but it would have felt I was being too familiar and perhaps set up a template for interaction on all future appointments.

I would be interested to know if anyone with Aspergers Syndrome can relate to these experiences. It is difficult explaining why interacting can sometimes seem too much when I can obviously socialise quite well and know all the social cues and expectations. Writing it now it seems so miniscule a problem but these types of interactions I have do have an impact on my life. I can't count the number of times I have not bought something I wanted, or walked further than needed, or not accepted a drink (or whatever) simply to 'get out of' interacting with someone.

Wow. I have never heard of cognitive dissonance before. I shall have to do more reading about it although from a quick look it makes a lot of sense to me. Thank you for sharing that information! It must have been other reasons that the dr thought I have Aspergers....

I don't know if this is similar or not, but I often make the "decision" to "get angry" with people like flipping a switch. Then, for me, my sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive and I usually have an anxiety attack after the interaction is complete, when I am coming down from the heightened emotions. Otherwise, I tend to shut down when someone confronts me and just look away and not respond a whole lot. I find that I am not very good at in-the-moment emotional reactions.