My best friend, who's an NT and knows me since we were in kindergarten, recently told me that she was surprised that she never saw me once during all these years engaging in small talk. She also told me that there have been a few situations when, instead of making small talk, I picked up a subject that was part of the social chit-chat and turned it into a very serious discussion. It seemed that I was unaware that such thing as small talk even existed. I'm 25 years old and up until now I didn't even grasp the fact that people are engaging so much in it. I always assumed that people were intent on discussing the topics they were chatting about...
So I don't really get small talk. I find it boring and useless. I'd rather partake in a debate or a serious discussion. I'd rather listen to people talking about whatever is interesting to them - there's always so much to learn (too bad that NTs are seldom that passionate about something the way we are with our special interests).
But, to NTs, small talk is a nice and relaxing pastime. According to my friend, it's a way to get to know the other person better, to find out what they like, who they are - as a means to engage in a more meaningful interaction or conversation later on. Now, let's now forget that NT communication is always very focused on the social and interpersonal elements and less on the actual message conveyed. Small talk, after all, is an act of communication where message/content = 0, while the social, emotional and contextual elements retain their value. To us, such a communication, stripped of content, is pointless - but the NTs are able to appreciate the social and emotional context, so that's what makes it meaningful to them...
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Probably 75% Aspie, 25% NT... and 100% ADHD
Aspie-quiz results:
Aspie score: 138 of 200 / NT score: 78 of 200 => Very likely an Aspie.