Needing PERFECTION

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So earlier today I spent about 30 minutes trying to record a version of a certain bass solo song - a cover of one of the more well known songs filled with bass harmonics, and only stopped because I was on the verge of meltdown, without any video I'd consider postable. Just ripped my bass off and chucked it to the ground/across the room (which I do now and again), and walked out of the room before I did anything worse. (I left the camera going, so I actually have video of this, interesting to watch)

But if you played these recordings back, you'd find that they're all of higher quality than any covers I've seen on youtube at least (really not trying to brag, just trying to demonstrate a point), yet to me they are all total and complete garbage, because they are not PERFECT.

I'm not trying to perfectly replicate what the original artist played in their original recording, either - I'm playing their song the way I like to play it.

One single wrong note - not even wrong note notewise, but just one single note that is not plucked perfectly loud and clear, or to my liking - will make me have to throw out that entire take. The entire thing, note for note, must be absolutely perfectly what I wanted it to be, or it gets rejected. It gets very frustrating sometimes, when I make recordings, because nothing is ever good enough - when my bands are in the studio I let other people decide whether a take is good, because if it were up to me, I would almost never say yes. Recording can get me VERY worked up.

So do you guys ever need PERFECTION? And when you don't have that perfection, do meltdowns happen?

What song filled with bass harmonics are you talking about, 'Birdland' by Weather Report? Something by Rush?

Neither, although it's by the bass player who played with Weather Report when they did Birdland (I also wouldn't call Birdland filled with harmonics - it has one false harmonic line; no offense meant.)

The song is Portrait of Tracy by Jaco Pastorius. The funny thing is when I'm -not- recording I play it to my satisfaction all the time. I do it faster than his recording, though, and add in some extra stuff.

Edit: I've even done it on stage during a show, while our guitarist was having technical difficulties in the middle of a gig, to fill some time so we weren't just standing up there doing nothing, and that was to my satisfaction, yet with recordings I just get way too into the perfection, and don't have the energy or anything I have on stage.

Last edited by Atomsk on 21 May 2012, 12:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

I produce electronic music and can relate to that need for perfection. Right now I am at the point where I have worked on an album for nearly a year and a half and I want to be satisfied that each track is exactly the way I want it to sound and yes I have been at the point of meltdown when I can't get certain things within a track to fit right or sound the way I think they should. I listen to the tracks probably three or four times a day trying to analyse what could be improved, whether the kick and snare sound right, whether the bass is too loud, etc. For every slight change I make, like adding a touch more reverb on a particular instrument, the equalibrium between the instruments is destroyed, and I will need to change other sounds. This can go on ad absurdium. I know intellectually the more I listen the more holes I will find and I should walk away for a couple of weeks but I feel frustrated and can't sleep because I know I am very close to finishing. This sounds like a nightmare but is actually a labour of love and when things go right it is very fulfilling for me.

The same thing happens to me, although with composing music I rarely ever get or feel frustrated. It's more just about playing it 100% perfectly for a recording. There's also pressure because I know that there is recording going on.

I'm appalling when it comes to perfectionism. I had an assignment to do at home the other day and spent four hours researching a point worth one mark because I had to get it right.

I want to start freelance proofreading but I've been worrying so much about not being able to do the job perfectly that I haven't been able to get started. I am starting to get over this fear now, but perfectionism holding me back is a recurrent pattern throughout my life.

I spent almost 12 months producing an album from spring last year to spring this year. It was a very isolating, depressing time for me. I've never had to do something so difficult in my life. I've written 6 screenplays. None of them brought me as close to madness as that album. I wrote, engineered, produced, played all the instruments, and sang lead and backup.

In one song I created a chorus of 18 voices. But won't you know? My aspieness kicked in and said, "Well, I'm glad you finished the album. Now it's time to focus on a new special interest." No!! !! That's where I am now. I created an album I'm not promoting or performing live. Asperger's allowed to focus for a year to complete the album then cruelly denied me the pleasure of seeing it achieve success. I hate being an aspie sometimes!

I start seething and getting into a dark rage if start missing too many shots when I shoot hoops every morning. Cussing and all. Anything less than perfection is unacceptable because of how long and how much I practice each day. Ironically, the anger that builds up from missing can sometimes make me miss even more, so it's a horrible cycle to fall into. I can only get out of it by getting back into a streak of made shots. I take my special interests very seriously.

Much more calm now - listening to the recordings now I don't find them to be bad - I'm still not going to post them to my Youtube channel, but listening to them does not make me feel aggravated. It was just having to do it over and over and over and over again when most people would have called it good the first time, that really gets to me. It all messes with confidence, too. Then I get all meltdown-mode and do things I usually wish I never did - things like throw my bass or hit walls and all that.

The exact same thing happens to me with my music - I'll be messing up, and it will start getting me very angry, which will in turn make me mess up more, which gets me more angry, which makes me mess up more, etc. until I snap.

Usually only happens with recording though, thankfully.

I take my special interests very seriously as well - music more seriously than the others - I pretty much devote my life to music. I have a motto - If I am not practicing, someone else IS practicing - and they are getting better than me, and they are going to take my next gig (or opportunity) from me.

I'm the biggest perfectionist I know.
It can be a right pain, as I tend to spend ages trying to get something perfect but often I can't and it stresses me out. It's even worse when you are trying to be perfect at work and there's other people involved who can never be as perfect as you want them to be. I regularly get upset by it.
Sometimes it is great, though- attention to detail when needed and all that.
Perfectionism seems to run in my family: all of us, not just those with AS traits. And stubborn-ness. Not a good combination!

It's just a case of thinking when something is "good enough", and stopping yourself from going any further. Hard, I know, and I still can't do it all of the time, even after 5 years of trying.

can't you do "punch in/punch out" with your recording setup? just curious. as for meltdowns, i saw a royal one on live tv 3 decades back, some poor fella had himself a bad key day on the ivories, and he kept flubbing a particular line and he started from the beginning of the phrase each time he goofed it, and on the third flub he banged on the keys in frustration and wept. they cut quickly to a commercial.

My standards for eberrything are too high. Other people cannot meet them, and I cannot understand why they cannot meet my standards. I also cannot understand why my standards are so high or how my standards became so high. It seems like it has always been like this for me.

one non-infernal thing about computers is that they enable me to perfect my music.

I consider anything other than doing everything correctly in one take to be cheating and poor musicianship. That's just for -me- though, my own standards for myself. I don't care if other people do it, and I don't think less of them. But I want people to hear me playing it -perfectly- with no help from anything. I was also recording a video of it at home, and wasn't using a nice setup like I would at our percussionist's studio, where we could use his nice camera and get audio right from the mixer.

As far as banging ivories, I have given my synthesizer many MANY of what I like to call "durability checks" during moments of rage/frustration. It's held up to everything so far, and I am by no means gentle - if you want a sturdy synth buy a Roland, hahahahaha. Never ever have I done anything like that on stage, though. I always get myself into a certain mindset and I think that greatly reduces my chances of getting enraged.

Was more perfectionistic in the past than I am now. Having four kids helps, but frustrates as well

I am the most hard working person I know, I will tire my self out every day and regret not having worked harder. Apparently I get more tired than NT people, doing certain tasks. Since I did not know that I had Asperger, I thought that was the way to be, now I have known for some weeks but it is still no excuse for working less (on the contrary, I think I will work harder trying to divide time into "blocks" of work and downtime, to recharge. It will make me more effective.).

I am not happy with mediocre, things do not have to be perfect. Perfect is difficult to reach in my world eg. perfect children, perfect garden, perfect grades, perfect work performance (used to work in the government). Trying to reach those goals would be rather self destroying - so I opt for good/really good instead of perfect. Does this make sense
Helle