help -_-

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I have aspergers

When i talk to somebody i feel like they are looking inside me. It makes me uncomfortable. When i walk away they have a funny look on their face. I do not feel important like the other students in my class. It is not fair. Nobody ever comes over to me and talks to me. They all stay in there own bubble. When i try to come over and talk to them they act like i am bothering them. I can tell this because when i tell them stuff they say like ok or alright in a sarcastic way. I do this to every bubble in my class. There are 3 clicks/bubbles in my class. They all do that to me but in different ways. They don't even ask me if i want to tag along with them after school and hang out. It has been this way since first grade everybody always has their own thing going on and they leave me out of it. I do not understand why the can't try to understand me and come down to my level. I try to go down to their level and try to act normal but they can see right through me.

Hi, welcome to the forum.

Do you think that maybe the feeling you have of them looking inside you is maybe just because they are focussing on what your saying when your talking to you and giving you their attention?

It is difficult, but I'm sure you'll find this forum helpful (theres actually a section for school/college which you might want to look through, there might be a lot of relevant information in there already. And hopefully others will be along with better advice than I have given.

Last edited by MrJosh on 25 May 2012, 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.

First up I'd really like to know your age, it will help me putting your situation into perspective.

Regarding the thing about looking inside you ... memorize this. NTs look inside NTs without permission. If you are a fan of star trek, think of them all as Betazoids (being able to perform telepaty), with one major exception, they can only read other NTs.

When they try to read you, they don't get anything ... trust me on this. Because they read subtle facial expressions and bodylanguage. And AS people rarely reflect their feelings in a way that can be read by a NTs, in my experience so rarely in fact that in my 31 years on this planet they still haven't been able to read me.

You have a natural cloaking device around your feeling and emotions ... while this may sound protective, this is in fact the reason why you are being single out. Not because they can read you like an open book, but in fact because they CAN'T. In my experience that is what makes NTs so uncomfortable around AS people. They simply cannot understand you. And from my experience it's because they fear it, they don't feel like they know ... with all their friends it just comes natural to them, but with you it doesn't and they cannot understand why.

I'll be able to provide more insight if you provide your age - Meanwhile chin up and remember that you're probably the smartest person in the class, and that's including the teacher.

I wish I heard ^ that ^ kind of thing when I was a teen, it would have brought a better understanding of life and probably have a little more to work with instead of hyperfocusing on negative stuff. I will say though, I used to gravitate to people I saw who were getting it worse than me, sort of subconsciously adding numbers to the outcast society, in my time the metalheads and punkers were hesitant to turn their backs on the jocks, but then again that probably hasn't changed much. The thing to keep in mind though is, you've got serious interests, the preps don't. Milk that

@2wheels4ever: If you are refering to my post ... I learned the hard way. My special ability is observation and analysis, but I can't even clean my appartment ... go figure

I'm so good at analysis that I've managed to fool everybody NT. I just hope my experiences can help the next generation. I'd probably have gotten further in life if I too had gotten that kind of advice in time.

I agree with LogiXYZ. Also, as for not being able to keep the apartment clean, you should see my trailer! Welcome to the Executive Function Disorder (EFT) club LogiXYZ. This is often co-morbid with Autism spectrum disorders. For added fun I also have Avoident Personality Disorder (AvPD), which is another frequent co-morbid. And,--yes there is an "and",--I also have other health issues.

Boy, can I relate to this! My own youth revisited! I went through the same things you did when I was young! You have an advantage, however. You were diagnosed early in your life. I wasn't diagnosed until age 47. Knowledge is power. Use it! Having said that, I'm at a disadvantage because I don't know how old you are. You don't have your age listed, so I'm going to guess that you're either junior high or high school age.

To begin with, I hate to burst your hopes but K through 12 is a total social waste for an aspie - period. Many kids are know-it-alls (even though I am a parent I was also a kid once, believe it or not), they are very judgmental and fickle - and oh yes - narcissistic and self-centered. They have certain standards that must be met and if you don't meet them you're scum and not worth their time. But that doesn't mean you can't make things easier. Talk with your folks and see if there isn't some sort of social training you could take. Maybe a guidance counselor may also have some answers for you. Otherwise, just be yourself. It will be easier - believe me.

College is where you will more than likely bloom - socially. It's a more adult atmosphere and more accepting - though if you're a conservative like me you may have to hide some of that for a while. There are some real throw-back hippies that teach that haven't grown out of the sixties yet. I think they must have had some massive doses of really poor quality weed in their younger days.

Lastly, there is hope. I'm married, have two daughters, two grandkids, am a tax professional, law student, and rose to major in the Air Force Reserves and have been recently recommended for promotion to lieutenant colonel. I should know in about six months. It can be a real charge going to a high school class reunion when the people who rejected you look at you and you're and watching their faces when they read that your a high ranking officer of the military - and see that the woman you married is a drop-dead gorgeous fox!

The bottom line is to hang in there and let your own successes propel you to new heights - but do so taking advantage of the help thats available.

Longshanks