How do Aspies get on with each other

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I 99% sure I have the condition.

I was just wondering how do people with the condition get on together?


Do they get on each others nerves or is their understanding of a shared condition?

I would like to meet others with the condition.

I think I'm more compatible with some Aspies than with others. I had a friend with AS when I was little and I have a friend with it now, but I knew someone with it in high-school who kind of annoyed me.

I'm about 80% sure I have it, since I have quite a few symptoms, but there are some very important symptoms I don't have that cause me to doubt, I guess I won't ever know for certain unless I see a professional, even though I'm not sure where I could find one though.

I haven't really known many Aspies, and now only know 2 and they are both online friends. One of them was the one who suggested I might have it.

I enjoy talking to the 2 that I do know and I am sure they enjoy talking to me. One of them even shares one of my special interests, or at least shared it at one time. It seems his change over time just like mine. I think it would be kind of nice to have a friend with AS that isn't an online friend. If I had a friend like that who had one of my interests, I would probably be with that person all the time.

I went to a special school for four years as a child, before Autism spectrum disorders were recognized. We were diagnosed as having emotional/behavior problems and/or being a discipline problem back then. I'm sure some of the other kids may have been on the spectrum. Some actually were discipline problems, though. I did get along with a few of the other kids there, but not all. On the other hand, sometimes I even manage to drive myself crazy.

I have noticed that I seem to argue more with a friend of mine who is an Aspie.

I'm pretty sure I have Asperger's, and I suspect my girlfriend has it. We get along well, each of us having difficulties in different ways, so we can help each other out. But not knowing before that we might be on the spectrum was starting to cause us trouble. Now that we're learning about it, it seems to be helping us to be closer and be a good couple again.

On the other hand, we have a friend that might also be on the spectrum, and she's neat for a short period of time. After that, she starts to do things that really irritate me. It's too bad, because my girlfriend really likes this friend, and my difficulty in being comfortable with this friend over long periods has been one of the difficulties to develop in our relationship. Besides, it's weird to think you like someone and then have such a hard time being around them. And she really is neat in some ways.

I think it's probably similar to the way non-autistic people get on; not everyone likes everyone else, but they have more of a shared neurological understanding.

I don't know any adults with Asperger's on an intimate level, but I knew someone in my chemistry class this past quarter who clearly had the condition and I didn't care for him much. However, I could tell that he was desperately trying to compensate for his social problems by bragging about himself and having an attitude of intellectual superiority.

I didn't like his attitude although I can see why he might have learned that as a coping mechanism. Actually, being in the lab with him was hard on me because I knew where he was making some bad social mistakes but I don't know if he even knew he had the condition and I didn't want to make him feel like a loser/failure/oblivious person or make him defensive. I'm kicking myself for not having the guts to say something.

Anyway, it wasn't solely his attitude. He didn't have the same interests as I did. He liked drawing and mythology and I like scientific subjects and sustainability. I imagine it would work that way with others, too. If they have similar interests and values they will probably have a more enjoyable time interacting.

One thing I like is that most autistic people seem to share some of my values such as honesty and integrity. That's not always the case with non-autistic folk.

I have a feeling my dad may be on the spectrum too. I don't remember ever having a real conversation that didn't involve our mutual interests. Even then, we've never held a conversation for more than a few minutes at a time. We can go for a 3 hour drive and say only half a dozen words.

He's my dad and I love him. We get along fine, but it doesn't really feel like we have a strong connection.

I don't know anyone else with ASD so all I have to go on is my dad who I think may be aspie.

I have a twin brother (non-identical), whom I'm completely sure has AS (including ADHD). We simply don't get along at all, I speak to him only in passing. And we celebrate christmas seperately. The year I spent with my in laws, he spents with my mother and vice versa.

To me, logic is my guiding protocol (hence the name LogiXYZ), but he is dyxcalculative (Spelling?) and really can't make sense of numbers. Add to the fact that he is more rigid. Than anyone I've ever meet and always claim to be right no matter what is being discussed. Eg. I'm a computer support technician and a programmer at that, he is a carpenter with no computer skills at all. But still if a conversation should happen to end upon computers he will always claim he is right, despite he has no training nor understanding for the subject. I'd say you cannot reason with the man at all.

Being rigid is part of the AS condition, and I'm also very stubborn, but even I know when to back down. He doesn't ... I find that way too demanding. To be completely honest, I'd rather spent the evening in a room full with NTs, than spend an evening with him. Solely for the fact that I find it easier to understand NTs than trying to understand my brother.

On the other hand, I'm sure that my best friend since high-school (since '97) has AS (though undiagnosed), but he understands me better than anyone ... including my fiancee who also has AS. I've never been in a real argument with him over the 15 years, and I've only been irritated with him once, when he broke my black window blinds ... but truly only because black window blinds are incredibly difficult to get a hold of in DK.

As Baron-Cohen said, "when you have met a person with Asperger's, then you have met ONE person with Asperger's". AS people are insanely diverse and therefore there are going to be combinations which are uncompatible. Unfortunately for me, the type in the whole world that I just can't cope with, turned out to be the type my brother ended up as.

But if you find the right AS friend (same gender), I guarantee you that you will find a friend that will understand you better than your better half.

So my thought on Aspie vs. Aspie is simply that it's all one big crap shoot (not sure if I'm allowed to curse in here, if not major apologies).

Much here has been well said, including the quoting of Baron-Cohen. My father probably is an Aspie, and he and I both have rigid opinions. We also both do the on/off conversational thing, which is to say, we're either in talking mode or listening mode, and we don't switch well. But he has much more of an "on position", to be in talking mode, when we get into an area of interest for him. I'm more able to let a conversational partner have a turn and go into "off mode" to listen. I think I'm also less rigid in my opinions. We'll both go away after seeming to have conceded a point, only to find a new reason to disagree again, but he's an ace at it. I think he feels much more threatened by the possibility of changing an opinion, whereas I'm more likely to get stubborn for thinking I'm right only, not as much because changing my mind is quite as scary to me as it is to him.

I love my dad, and I've had good times with him. But he can seem very difficult sometimes, too. He often frustrates me, and I worry about him a lot. He lives far away, but I don't think I could tolerate staying with him for a visit. It would be beyond what I could handle, and there's nobody else out there I could stay with to get a break. I just have to hope he's okay in between phone conversations and e-mails.

Not very well, in my own personal experiences. I think it depends on each case, I generally don't do well with either.

I've gotten along with all the Aspies that I've had the opportunity to have known.

I get along well with one aspie I know, and got along awfully with another. I tried very hard to get along with the one I didn't get along with (I didn't have the option of just walking away), but he was impossible to talk to, and tragically he wasn't able to engage in deep discussions about his special interests. I don't think he liked communication at all, even though he's getting a communication degree.