Forgiveness

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As some folks here may know, about 2 months ago I hit age 30.

After dealing with a year of insanely bad stress, and every single thing that could be thrown at me all at once including the kitchen sink( seriously, feel free to read my previous thread herehere), I came to a decision...and that decision was that one thing I wanted to do with my life--now at age 30--was that I wanted to live one of the happiest lives a person could live. And part of that would involve moving on from those I'd been hurt by. To do this, I'd need to forgive people--not for their sake, mind you,--for my sake.

I found it's not necessary to keep harboring anger towards people; in many cases the people don't even realize they've wronged you....they're too clueless to realize it.

I bring this up to you, folks, because I recently forgave some more people in my life...and it feels like one of the biggest loads in the world has now been lifted off of me. Oh, I have more to go, make no mistake about it. But I feel better now than I have in quite a while. I wish the people the best, and hope their lives get better. I want to take the high road.

I also bring this up to you....because I know many of you feel anger and resentment towards those who hurt you due to being different. Folks, harboring anger towards them won't help you in any way. I'm not telling you this immediate moment to just let it all go...but it is something I recommend working on.

If there are people in your life that you're very angry who have hurt you, forgive them for your own sake. You deserve better than to torture yourself with the anger you hold towards them. Either they're losers who don't even deserve the energy, or they're just too petty and clueless to realize they're doing wrong. Even if they do realize they're doing wrong......they have to live with that; why must you let it bother you?

Once more: I'm not saying to bury the hatchet and allow them back into your lives. All I'm saying is forgive them for your own sake, and move on, and learn to love yourself and enjoy a wonderful life

Forgiveness is a good and noble thing, think it helps you get past stuff. But you have to be careful to be assertive at the same time. When you're out of a situation and you've had time to recover from whatever it was, it can be really healthy.

Sounds like you've come to many of the same conclusions as I have, I guess as you get older these things start to dawn on you. You're ahead of me, I didn't learn to let go and be assertive at the same time til recently (late 30s)

Underneath it all, the worst people are just really damaged by what life has thrown at them. Even if it doesn't seem like it has thrown much at them, you don't always know the whole story.

Well, feel free to read the thread I linked to this one; perhaps there's a reason I learned it as soon as I did

I think forgiveness is such a wonderful concept. I am in a 12 step program and one of the steps is making amends to people.
It is a very hard step as it involves telling the other people you were wrong and to ask them to forgive you. (they don't always)
Because this is such a hard thing to do, it makes me think twice before I open my big mouth because I don't want to have to make amends again.

Actually no.....in these cases, I wasn't wrong.

And I'm not talking about making amends either.

I'm simply talking about forgiving them for your own benefit of moving on, and not letting the person/situation bother you anymore.

Forgiveness, like I said, doesn't mean I want them back in my life. It just means I want to take the high road, and live a happier life rather than wasting energy being bothered by how they hurt me.

I find forgiveness possible when accompanied by moving on.

after 4 years i have reconciled with my mom\
but she continues to remain the same person
very annoying, irritating and unnecessary comments
she is difficult person to handle
i dont see anything positive coming out of reconcilation
and though very hard i have forgiven her

I find it impossible to forgive and forget and I don't understand why forgiveness is such a wonderful concept according to some of you.

I don't easily dislike people but when I do I usually hold a grudge for years to come, probably for the rest of my life. I am not vindictive because I think it's wrong and a waste of my precious time. When someone has done me wrong that person simply doesn't exist for me anymore. It''s best to ignore people like that which comes naturally to me anyway. I don't want to brood about an individual that disgusts me to the core of my being because it can influence my own peace of my mind in a negative way and I don't want that to happen, However, if that person bothers me again I'm certainly not going to turn the other cheek. I think I do move on in a way but without forgiving and forgetting.

Forgiving and moving on is good advice.



TheSunAlsoRises