Page 1 of 2 [ 28 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

fefe333
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 187

25 May 2012, 9:51 am

well, my mom signed me up to go camping with 30+ kids. Its 3 and a half days. My mom Said I need to "get to know kids my age." I'll only know like 4 people there. I didn't know she signed me up till last night, and we leave tonight.
I'm helpless when it comes to social situations,I can't read facial and body movements,and sometimes I don't even recognise people.I'm introverted and I'm not going to have any alone time. We have stuff scheduled till 1 am and we get up at 7.
any one have any tips on how I can survive this weekend?


_________________
--
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


sharkattack
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,101

25 May 2012, 9:56 am

Does your mother understand your condition?

You may need to put your foot down.



fefe333
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 187

25 May 2012, 10:21 am

sharkattack wrote:
Does your mother understand your condition?

You may need to put your foot down.


no she doesn't understand :wall:
I tried telling her that I'm not going to go, and she punished me,then texted all the other moms that have there kids going, then they were all calling me,and there kids were all texting me and it was a nightmare. :x


_________________
--
I am a 14 year old girl.
I have synesthesia.
aspie quiz results: 172/200
I am suspected to have aspergers, but I'm not diagnosed.


sharkattack
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 May 2012
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,101

25 May 2012, 10:28 am

Your mom does not understand your condition.

It looks like there is no way out of this for you.

While you are there you can take comfort in knowing that there are people in the world that do understand what you are going through.

Good luck.



CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 12:37 pm

sounds like she thinks this will cure you. that all you need is to get to know other kids. She may not know much about Aspergers, but it looks like she sees the symptoms.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,892
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 May 2012, 12:51 pm

CuriousKitten wrote:
sounds like she thinks this will cure you. that all you need is to get to know other kids. She may not know much about Aspergers, but it looks like she sees the symptoms.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche


I find that quote to be quite false, at least for me.


_________________
We won't go back.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,892
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 May 2012, 12:52 pm

To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


_________________
We won't go back.


CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 1:06 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
sounds like she thinks this will cure you. that all you need is to get to know other kids. She may not know much about Aspergers, but it looks like she sees the symptoms.

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche


I find that quote to be quite false, at least for me.


There have been times in my life when that quote was a mantra that kept me going.



CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 1:13 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,892
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 May 2012, 1:19 pm

CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.


I think the OP should do which ever one they prefer, I liked reading when I was a kid because I liked it.....I wasn't doing it for other people I was doing it for me since I enjoyed it.


_________________
We won't go back.


questor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Apr 2011
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,696
Location: Twilight Zone

25 May 2012, 1:33 pm

You have my sympathy. I do understand. I am an introverted hermit in my early 50s. My father is an extroverted NT in his mid 80s. He still gets after me to socialize more, as he believes that introversion is unhealthy. DUH! Introverted hermits are not into socializing! And, I am okay with being alone. It's being with others that drives me crazy, especially extroverted NTs. :lol: Fortunately, I live alone, :D and half the year he and my step mom live in Florida to avoid the cold weather up here. Unfortunately, they are back up here for the warm half of the year. :roll: On the plus side, I usually only see him once a week, when he drops off garbage. They don't have garbage pick up in their town, and people there have to pay to drop it off at their dump. My parents own the trailer that I rent from them. I do have garbage pick up, so it makes sense for them to use my cans. It also gives my father a chance to see how I am doing, and to tell me to get out and socialize more. :roll:

I don't see how you can avoid this adventure, but I do agree with Sweetleaf, that you should read and do other solo stuff when and if you can while you are there. It will give you some solo time to recharge your batteries.

You should also download some info on Asperger's for your mother to read, so she will have a better understanding of your situation.

When I was in school decades ago, four of those years were spent in a special school for kids with emotional/behavior problems and/or discipline problems. They didn't recognize Autism spectrum disorders at the time, so that's how we were diagnosed. The special school took one or two trips a year to national and state parks, with some of the classes. These were usually for 2 nights away. Even among other kids with problems, I needed some alone time, and would often wander off on my own while at these places. I did like being in these nature filled surroundings, and watching the birds and animals, so I wasn't against going, as I knew I could go off by myself some of the time. Unfortunately, now the world has gotten to be a crazier place, and it really isn't safe to wander off alone in such places any more, because of all the predators, 2 legged, as well as 4 legged. Your best bet for safe alone time will be to hang about camp to read, draw, or do other solo activities. Maybe you could volunteer to clean up the place, or help set up activities. That should keep the staff from getting after you to join the other kids so much.

Try not to get to upset about the situation, and think of it as an opportunity to explore nature. And who knows, maybe you will make a friend or two? Good luck! :D


_________________
If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer.
Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured, or far away.--Henry David Thoreau


CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 1:35 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.


I think the OP should do which ever one they prefer, I liked reading when I was a kid because I liked it.....I wasn't doing it for other people I was doing it for me since I enjoyed it.


I love to read too, but the goal would be to get through the weekend with minimal fall-out. Anything anti-social may be deemed the next problem to be solved.



Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,892
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

25 May 2012, 1:36 pm

CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
To the Op that sounds pretty terrible, I'm not quite sure what to say...but sorry you have to go through that. It sucks being misunderstood even by your own mother and I know it can be frustrating. I don't exactly have a way of solving the problem though....do you like reading or drawing? you could possibly do that during the free time, but yeah other then that I am not really sure.


If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.


I think the OP should do which ever one they prefer, I liked reading when I was a kid because I liked it.....I wasn't doing it for other people I was doing it for me since I enjoyed it.


I love to read too, but the goal would be to get through the weekend with minimal fall-out. Anything anti-social may be deemed the next problem to be solved.


why is it anti-social to read?


_________________
We won't go back.


Alfonso12345
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 431
Location: Somewhere in the United States

25 May 2012, 2:07 pm

I am sorry for this post. I was unable to delete this, so all I could do was edit and erase what was here before.



Last edited by Alfonso12345 on 25 May 2012, 6:19 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Blownmind
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Feb 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 825
Location: Norway

25 May 2012, 2:08 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.

why is it anti-social to read?

Perhaps she(fixed) meant asocial?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-social_behaviour
Quote:
Anti-social behaviour (with or without hyphen) is behaviour that lacks consideration for others and may cause damage to the society, whether intentionally or through negligence.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asociality
Quote:
Asociality refers to the lack of a strong motivation to engage in social interaction and/or the preference for solitary activities. Developmental psychologists use the terms "nonsocial," "unsocial," and "social disinterest" to refer to a similar conceptual construct. Asocial is distinct from antisocial as the latter implies an active dislike or antagonism toward other people or the general social order.


_________________
AQ: 42/50 || SQ: 32/80 || IQ(RPM): 138 || IRI-empathytest(PT/EC/FS/PD): 10(-7)/16(-3)/19(+3)/19(+10) || Alexithymia: 148/185 || Aspie-quiz: AS 133/200, NT 56/200


Last edited by Blownmind on 25 May 2012, 2:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

CuriousKitten
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 19 Mar 2012
Age: 65
Gender: Female
Posts: 487
Location: Deep South USA

25 May 2012, 2:22 pm

Blownmind wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
CuriousKitten wrote:
If you draw, take a small sketch pad -- it will provide you with a focus, and a topic for conversation

reading during social occasions is more likely to be seen as anti-social.

why is it anti-social to read?


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-social_behaviour
Quote:
Anti-social behaviour (with or without hyphen) is behaviour that lacks consideration for others and may cause damage to the society, whether intentionally or through negligence.


Perhaps he meant asocial?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asociality
Quote:
Asociality refers to the lack of a strong motivation to engage in social interaction and/or the preference for solitary activities. Developmental psychologists use the terms "nonsocial," "unsocial," and "social disinterest" to refer to a similar conceptual construct. Asocial is distinct from antisocial as the latter implies an active dislike or antagonism toward other people or the general social order.


I've found that when dealing with NTs, the distinction is moot. Anything that can be singled out by the mother (remember, she has already demonstrated she is in communication with the other mothers, who will no doubt question their kids upon return) as being other than social could be the next target -- reading during a social occasion could get recreational reading targeted as the cause of the dysfunction. I spent several months squirelling books away where I could hide and read for short periods of time when no one was looking. In their mind the solution for introversion is to be more social.

The initial post said that there were activities scheduled all day long, with little time for even sleep. There isn't intended to be any time for solo activities.

I do agree with the previous poster who suggested sharing information on Aspergers with the mother.