Smiling/"friendly" people

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Does this get to anyone else? Unless I am sharing an enjoyable moment with someone I know well, I feel like it is an offense, or like I am being manipulated. It irritates me.

It depends on the person for me. Some of them seem genuinely happy about a lot to me. Others seem very superficial, or artificial.

No, not for me personally. I usually try to smile at other people so that I come across as 'friendly'.

I agree with CyclopsSummers. I do try to smile at the neighbors, service people, people in the stores when we catch one another's eyes, or when they help me out--I am too short to reach a lot of stuff on the top shelves, so I often have to ask a taller person for help, and I will smile at children when I am out. I don't over do it though, just a quick smile, and maybe a nod, to acknowledge their existence and to appear more normal and non threatening.

I will never appear totally normal, as I don't wear make up, and am not a slave to fashion. Also, I am overweight, have bad knees, and have always had an unsteady gait, due to feet that were turned out some since I was born. Corrective shoes in childhood only partially fixed that problem. They were expensive, uncomfortable, and weren't doing the job too good, so my parents eventually let me get more comfortable foot gear in normal styles. I also have some scoliosis of the spine, that adds to my unsteady gait. My older brother had that worse, and had to wear a back brace for a couple of years as a teenager to straighten it. After they found out I had it too, nothing was done for me. I don't know why. Perhaps my case was not considered serious enough to need a brace.

I realize many of us on the spectrum don't see the need of smiling, and often don't have much to smile about, but it doesn't cost anything, and can help make the NTs more comfortable around us. That can make things a little easier for us. In my case, I am also trying to combat the negative effect of my eye brows. I tend to look angry no matter why I might be frowning. If I am not frowning, the original brow line was a clown curve--not a help. They also tend toward spikey and bushy. I have worked to adjust my eye brows over decades, to appear less clownish, less "angry", and less bushy. I have made some improvement in it, but am hampered by the fact that the follicles do grow back. I don't want to simply remove them and use an eye brow pencil, as I am not into wearing any kind of make up. Besides I don't like the look of fake, drawn eye brows.

You should just let it ride when people are smiling, and you should consider the quick smile, with perhaps a nod, yourself, to help you get along a little easier with NTs.

I hate people who smile just to appear pleasant and friendly. Almost every doctor I've had has been one of those.

It is the same as standing there telling me blatant lies over and over, and insults my intelligence.

I can't quite grasp how stupid NTs must be, if putting on a fake smile usually has enough positive results with them to justify doing it all the time.

People that are always smiling immediately make me suspicious. What emotion are they trying to hide?

Yeah, I remember one of the things that bothered me about my father was his fake smile... He was always fake smiling to get what he wanted and it bothered me because he was actually not friendly at all, he was a manipulative as*hole. Every time he did his sh***y fake smile all I could thing was "liar!"

My mom one time got really bothered that I looked so "angry", that I wasn't smiling for no reason.

Oh yes. I also have the chronic bitch-face and I hate it when people ask me why I look so angry. I'm not angry at all, I just can't constantly walk around with a smile on my face like many other people do. I find it irritating.. why would they smile all the time? What does that mean?

I think usually I have a pretty blank face, but if I am with friends I can get fairly animated.

Yep, I will smile to hide anything from pain to uncertainty to frustration. I do not assume others smiles mean anything and will mostly not even notice smiles. Even if a smile is genuine, there are too many possible reasons why they might be smiling for me to know what to take from it.

What I really dislike are the meaningless compliments, sort of like a verbal version of smiling maybe?

Last edited by Cogs on 04 Mar 2012, 1:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Last edited by Cogs on 04 Mar 2012, 3:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

No. I like friendly people.


I didn't know being friendly and smiling was a crime

The time I hate friendly people is when you go to a restaurant and the owner comes out trying to be entertaining. It makes me not want to go back... its like, I'm here for food... go away.

Otherwise I've realized the car repair place I'm going to has a large amount of jerks in it. Which works well for me because they are straight forward and literal rather than "HELLO SIR", then screw you over when you least expect it.

I like it when people smile innocently. If I feel there's malice behind the grin then it will bug me, if not then I like it when others smile, it usually means they are happy which can have a positive effect on me should I be feeling down. I like being surrounded by happy people for the most part, it definitely helps me feel more at ease in a myriad of situations.

If someone does smile at me even though they don't 'mean' it or they are not reflecting their true feelings, then I see it as a kind gesture on behalf of the 'smiler' to the 'smilee', to make them feel more at ease/happy/welcomed; it takes a special kind of bitter, egocentric cynic to think they are being fake toward them for a reason other than intended. They may not be happy but perhaps their intention is to make you feel more at ease. It's not like a lot of people on here don't don a mask to intentionally deceive other people in order to fit in to certain situations, I wear this mask most times I'm down the pub in a large group of people. Now imagine that mask is a smile. That's the way I see it; maybe it's naive, maybe it's too trusting, I just don't like to think people have that many hidden agendas .

I also love it when people laugh, sometimes just seeing another person laugh can crack me up

They don't bother me. I like any kind of smile (fake, real, awkward) better than stiff long faces. Even on ugly people smiles improve their looks a lot. I don't like chatty people much but I tolerate them OK.

I can only remember one person I disliked due to her friendly chattiness. It was my dental hygienist. She's always talking non-stop while cleaning my teeth. Replying to her own questions and laughing at her own jokes, because obviously I couldn't talk much. I stopped seeing her. Now I see a serious but efficient dentist for cleaning.