It's not that we don't get social clues

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I can't follow them because they are stupid to me.

I believe in kindness to my fellow man and compassion. Empathy robs me of my logical mind so it's a burden and inefficient. That doesn't mean I can't feel it, I just get to choose when I do. A busy rush at the restaurant is no place to be empathic. Cool as a cucumber, excellent.

So be polite, courteous, respectful, virtuous, kind and compassionate. Here is an analogy... or something.

You're sitting in a comfy lounge smoking some of the best (whatever) you've had in your life (cigar, yeah) and there is so much smoke in the air that it forms it's own moving, volatile layer at the ceiling. There you are, in your soft velvet chair, in the clear layer below the smoke. You're keeping it real, your feet are on the plush carpet, toes wiggling in deeper, the feel of the arm of the chair just below your forearm as you rest it after taking a drag.... totally in the moment.

Well "social stuff" (gossip, hierarchies, cliques, etc.) is like the smoke in the air. Normal people live up there. We're down in the clear layer, in touch with our space, physically there. For me, my reality is what my senses send to my brain. If I want to, I can play back scenes from my life in great detail and analyze them from every angle. It's only this direct experience that can create those memories. To me, this is a gift of having autism.

Have a good day everyone.

Well, I'll be damned! I didn't know autistic folks smoked cigars. You live and learn...

Personally, I don't notice most cues. I'm horrible with facial expressions, too. I remember taking some facial expression recognition test, where I only got FOUR correct - for pretty much every single test question, I was thoroughly puzzled (more like annoyed/agitated) because none of the multiple choice answers seemed correct. I don't remember what the maximum score was, but a score of 4 was extremely low. If memory serves the number of questions was somewhere around 40.

It's not that we don't get social clues


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9o19CaOSuD8&feature=related[/youtube]

TheSunAlsoRises

It's not that we don't get social clues

Seriously though......

For some Autists, there is a degree of truth in what you say....

I suspect there are those who have a bigger problem in responding to social cues rather than understanding them...

TheSunAlsoRises

This is not true for me. I don't think they are stupid. I don't want to stand out because I want to fit in and make friends. I've got a tongue in my head, I might aswell use it. But sometimes I really don't know what to respond to people, I rack my brains in the short space of 1 second to think of what to say but can't find anything, so the awkward silence stretches longer and longer until I just give a laugh. Stupid brain, I hate my brain I really do.

The only social thing I really think is so stupid is the way people (especially women) worry about ''looking funny'', and think they have to look perfect when just going out to the supermarket or somewhere. It's like people are always trying to impress strangers all the time, and I don't know why because they don't even know strangers and if people are adult enough they're not really going to stand there all day pointing and laughing at somebody who's forgotten to put their lipstick on that day or have a jacket on that might not nicely go with their trousers. So annoying! But, I have a lot of NT traits in me because I'm stupid enough to have got myself into the stupid fear of breaking a silly fashion rule. I don't even know why I even bother maintaining a socially suitable posture, wearing trendy clothes and acting normal, because I get funny looks anyway, however I stand, whatever I wear, and however I act. So......yeah.

Damned if I do, damned if I don't, damned if I will, damned if I won't. f**k life.

There are some social cues I totally miss. And some I see but don't process the relevance of. And some I see and know what they mean but I think they're stupid so I ignore them.

You may notice them and decide they are stupid and not follow them, but personally, I don't notice them much, and if I do I think I usually misinterpret them. More often than not if I notice it, I'm just confused about what it means.