Is knowledge of ASD a worthwhile thing?

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I'm going through a particularly difficult period in time right now, so bear with me.

About two months ago, I first started learning about ASD, identified with a lot of the symptoms, and took some tests which showed my responses were more associated with people with ASD than NT people. Since then, I've alternated between wanting to learn more, and wanting to pretend I'd never learned about it at all. I thought having a better idea of why I am the way I am would be liberating in one sense (it's not my fault!) but that it would also allow me to develop better coping strategies.

So, in the past two months, I've been making an effort to do more social things than I otherwise would (I went to a few parties, very briefly, and I've been doing more impromptu social things with housemates, for instance), mostly to prove to myself that I can, I guess, with mixed results. Beyond this, however, things have either been remaining the same, or getting worse. I now have to supervise a few employees, which I hate, which is terrible for me quality of life, and which I'm not good at. How does knowing about the autism spectrum help with that? I am entering a stage in my career where networking plays a big role. How does knowing about the autism spectrum change the fact that at a banquet I can't stop thinking about how uncomfortable I am, that I notice my rocking, stop, and switch to punching myself in the arm, notice it, stop, and uncontrollably switch to another obnoxious fidget?

Things are sh***y in my life in general anyway. My closest friend (really, the only one I feel really comfortable around) died a few months ago, work is becoming increasingly stressful with responsibilities I can't handle, and the days are getting shorter which causes my depression to get worse. But still, how does the label ASD make any of this easier? When I read the forums here, I don't see a lot of people using their knowledge to make living in a NT-dominant world easier, I just see a lot of people demonizing NT people and acting superior. Whether or not AS or NT people are better doesn't help me one bit - I live in a world full of NT people, and need a job and some level of social interaction to survive. I need to socially interact with NT people constantly to maintain a job. So what benefit is there to learning more? How do undiagnosed autistic people with jobs manage to navigate the mental health maze alone to get a diagnosis? How do negotiate getting time off for getting a diagnosis while maintaining your privacy?

Indeed acquiring a professional's label of "ASD" won't grant you any superpowers. It sounds like it won't even provide you with any new information. So, you have to decide if it's worthwhile for you. In my case, diagnosis got me assistance in school, but it sounds like you're beyond that stage (as I now am too).

The only benefit may be that of self-understanding, but it sounds like you're already working that out. As far as privacy, you could probably just say you're getting a "check-up" and leave it at that.

Some people disparage NTs here, as they've been poorly-treated themselves by them, but I don't think the majority do. Some of it is just merely satire with no ill-will, and quite a bit of cooperation between neurotypes of all stripes just trying to understand each other better.

Sorry to hear things aren't going well right now.

It's worth knowing what you would like to change about yourself. For that reason, I read a lot about ASD and sometimes I get an 'Aha!' moment. I've found something to work on. Example: ASDs sometimes do not know that other people can hear everything they say. That's me but I couldn't fix it until I found the problem.

Doctors and therapists can try to help but they can't even define it in the DSM. So, again, it comes back to your decisions. The knowledge you gather can empower you.

Seeing oneself as having ASD is something of a double-edged sword I think. For me the main downside was that it felt very daunting to look at all the things I'm unlikely ever to be able to do properly, and all the stories of social rejection and stigma, society's failure to take ASD seriously enough to make any positive adjustments for us, knowing I'm destined to suffer quite a lot of pain, etc.

But there are positive things too. Knowing about yourself, finding out what your strengths and weaknesses are, has to be a great help in working out practical coping strategies to limit the damage and use what Rdos calls "Aspie talents" to your advantage. For example, I know that I'm stronger than most people at error-checking, and when I perform a task, I might take a long time over it but my perfectionism will often get me a result that stands out from the crowd as an example of fine craftsmanship. I can shine a different light on things, and sometimes that can be pretty useful.

To some extent I've got a choice - I can grieve over the "broken leg" side of my autism, or I can take courage, protect myself using that knowledge (as somebody with a broken leg might put a splint on it), and try to use the good side of the situation to improve myself and help the world a little. I'll never be entirely content with the bad side, obviously, it'll always be a source of pain, but mostly I choose to play that side down and instead try and operate such powers as I have. What are you going to do?

Do you really have to tell people what you do with your time off? Where I work most things are just lumped into personal time off--sick days, doctors' appts, funerals, and vacation days. The exception is Jury Duty, as there are special rules on "wages" according to state law.

Generally I believe the old adage that knowledge is power. The qualifiers are how good/reliable and so on the source of knowledge is, and the ability/motivation to use it constructively. Another old adage is "know thyself". And it seems to me that a lot of people really don't know the inner levels of themselves, but live on the surface of themselves absorbing what goes on around them rather than looking inward to who they are.

Adage number three: you don't know what you don't know.

Do you have vacation days that could be used instead of medical leave. Not the best solution, but if you really need to keep it secret...

Gaining knowledge and learn is time that is never wasted.

Now that I think about it, there was one instance in the past where I felt disabled, and it's actually related to the first time I heard the term Asperger's. Kind of random, but why not share.

I remember in high school I was taking a writing course, and three weeks or so in came the first real writing assignment. I don't remember the assignment exactly, but I know it was about writing something personal, and I couldn't do it. It was too late in the semester so I couldn't transfer into a different class, so I asked a teacher I liked if I could be her student assistant (grading, filing, etc) for the semester to get out of the writing class (the only time I've dropped a class because I couldn't do the work). I remember one day when I was grading papers a fight broke out in the class, and the kid who always had a para-professional with him bolted out of the class, and it turns out it's because he had Asperger's. My reaction to the fight was that I just kept grading papers throughout the ordeal (I was on the other side of the room). People commented on how crazy it was that I kept grading papers but what else was I supposed to do lol. I ended up meeting the English requirement by taking a debate course the next year which was much more in my comfort zone.

I'm on year 5 of this but still trying to decide what it means or how it's helpful.

It's important to understand how the condition affects you. For instance I have a friend who is also on the spectrum but he is totally different to me. My condition affects me mainly through health problems and anxiety, but also some social understanding. His condition is more centered around special interests , but he seems to have very little anxiety.

But there is a limiting factor to this knowledge which is how you are affected by society. Really what we need is immunity from work (unless we want to work), but I can't see that hapenning any time soon. We're also affected by how well medicine is able to treat us. So knowledge of the condition is important but it doesn't make all your problems go away.

Some people say that getting diagnosed too late makes it less worthwhile.

But the labels are not important and should be forgotten about really. There are no AS or NT people, there are just individuals. It's just a collection of traits that you stick an AS label onto but it doesn't really exist as such.

If you are fairly sure you are on the spectrum and are able to recognise your difficulties I really don't see much point in adult diagnosis. I could not, so in that sense adult diagnosis was a useful learning curve for me but beyond that there is no help available and all you get is being given a label.