Do the "Normals" seem cold and inhuman to you?

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Do normal people often seem cold and inhuman to you? This could be in regards to anything they do from social gatherings, to friendships to romantic relationships.

I mean, for a group that often comes off as over-emotional they often seem to actually be making decisions in a calculating self-absorbed way. Sometimes I don't think they realize what they are doing, or at least I hope they don't becuse I can't imagine being that reptilian and still having anything like a human soul.

Its the game they play.

Most people are motivated solely by selfish desire and greed.

The interaction of these people who try so very hard to hide their true nature leads to a grand worldwide masquerade ball to which we werent invited.

So we can peek in the window and since we havent been drinking the spiked koolaid can see that they are just masks?

And how are they any different from those with AS? Or humans in general? And it isn't 'normals', it's 'NT's'.

What an excellent analogy.

I don't think neurotypicals are so much cold and unemotional as that their emotions tend to be less stable and have greater variation than perhaps the average Aspie, with more conflicting trends. This is magnified by the fact that neurotypicals can more easily lie and often love change for the sake of change. So, the contrast between an Aspie and a neurotypical can be sharp in terms of what they mean when they say certain things and the potential for change down the road.

For example, in a romantic relationship, I would imagine if I'm at all representive, that when an Apsie says he or she is in love, that generally means a strong intense attachment that will in all likelyhood only change if the situation changes (i.e. new important facts about the dating partner are revealed, that dating partner's attitude towards the Aspie changes, etc..). This stems from what seems to be a simplified less choatic emotional predisposition on the part of Aspies, plus a predisposition not to lie and a predisposition towards stability (In the sense of not wanting change for the sake of change, or even if change might provide a slight advantage).

When a neurotypical says "I love you", often it means that love is one of the many emotions he or she feels in his or her head, and it sort of has a slight tenous lead on everything else in terms of jockeying for position. So, there is already this less streamlined emotional state that is often nearly at a tipping point towards some other new majority impression taking over at any given moment. Then, add to that the fact that neurotypical can lie and mask things more easily, and that they often like change for the sake of change. It's no surprise then that perhaps they might be more likely to either mislead or appear misleading, or even honestly be in love one minute and not the next.

So, what I think we really see when observing the average neurotypical is often just simply brains which truly operate differently, as opposed to any clear malicious intent on their part (Though obviously there is a percentage of any population, autistic or non-autistic, that does intentionally act in malicious ways). If an Aspie acted in some of the ways that a neurotypical often acts, it probably *would* be the result of malicious intent, but it's probably an unfair projection to assume that neurotypicals have the same motivations. In fact, they probably usually don't. It's just like Aspies can appear like jerks without meaning to, because neurotypicals will often project what their own motivations for a given behavior would be on the behavior of Apsies rather than understanding that Aspies have different motivations for various common behaviors. Our brains act fundamentally differently from each other and often similar behavior patterns are more coincidences than actually results of similar modes of thought.

Thats right, its misunderstand that causes most of the problems between AS and NT.

I used to feel most people were cold, until I realised personally my emotions are either switched on entirely, or switched off.

I feel entirely for something, or not at all..

So to me it seemed like most people have no passion, drive, or desire like me, but really its a different way of dealing with emotion.

Thats right, its misunderstanding that causes most of the problems between AS and NT.

I used to feel most people were cold, until I realised personally my emotions are either switched on entirely, or switched off.

I feel entirely for something, or not at all..

So to me it seemed like most people have no passion, drive, or desire like me, but really its a different way of dealing with emotion.

The typical life i've seen most NT's lead is by making decisions heavily based on emotion, and not logic. The worst of it comes when the all too typical character trait of greed comes up. NT's will make a decision about someting as they percieve will make themselves happy (be it just fleeting or lifelong). When this decision is made, it may frequently step on the toes of someone else either directly or indirectly. NT's however will "sugar coat" their decision by either witholding the truth, or by outright lying to justify it with other NT's. Most NT's are typically pretty ambivalent or just too daft to notice the ulterior motive of greed, and are just happy that their feelings aren't hurt. This has become their way of jan NT justifying their selfish decisions in life, saying that what they do doesn't affect another person because their feelings aren't hurt or an affected party doesn't care...it's just that that "other person" does not quite know everything about the decision they made.

Examples:

Take for example the simple decision of a person driving into a crowded metropolitan city, like DC or New York. The decision to drive into the city when public transit is avaliable contributes to more pollution, traffic, noise, and congestion within the city. That NT is fully aware of the issues traffic causes in the city and in fact does not like dealing with those problems themselves, but to them, driving that vehicle into the city is emotionally "better" than taking mass transit, and that all that noise, congestion, and pollution is caused by "other people" not them. That NT may say that "everyone" drives into the city and that his one more vehicle won't make a difference. The thing is that if everyone that had the choice to drive into the city and conciously made the decision not to after weighing the consequences that it contributes to, they would be on the bus or the train, and the city streets would be that muc less congested!

Decisions like this have been frequently made in the business world too. Take a look at many of the great American nameplates that just aren't around anymore, or have been sold out to foreign owners. To me, some NT made a decision based on greed to cash in on the stock and sell out their company to fill their wallet. This, of course has taken many good paying jobs away from Americans, and basically dissolved brand loyalty among many things. They try to justify it saying that the foreign made products are more affordable nowadays (obviously built more poorly too!) and that the job base is shifting to a "service" economy. It still doesn't hold water however that the idiot CEO killed a goose that laid golden eggs!

Last edited by AV-geek on 14 Nov 2006, 2:11 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Yeah, but sometimes I wish I was drunk. 8-(

Steve

Yes this hits the nail on the head! I find some NT's a little cold, and waiting for other people to trip up. I readily take myself with a pinch of salt, don't mind making myself look silly, where as NT's have to keep up that all important controlled front. Of course not all NT's are cold calculators, I just generall feel really uncomfortable around replicants!

Not all of them, but generally yes. And stupid, too!

My general experience with them throughout my life has been that they tend to act like they are too important for me, their lives are more important than mine, and that I don't really have the same business being here as they do.

I would call that cold and inhuman.

Not all of them are that way, but there are some that are just plain jerks. I prefer the people who are more quirky and unusual, not as conforming.

wow... slow down, i am having a little trouble following this ( approaching almost everything scientifically is not always resulting in a positive conclusion ) who are the "normal" people here? as far as i care, we are all the exact opposites of the minority, i don't think we are any different from the rest of the crowd,having autism doesn't mean difference isn't skin deep, and how do we know that they are being cold hearted? are your questions reffering to a lack of understanding of us? maybe those who are being cold and inhuman may just not understand our veiws, opinions, ways of thinking, or capacity.( this is a topic i have been dying to share my veiws on) we coud even approach this differently, maybe they fear that our mental ability and capcity overpowers there brawn and they try to cover up this fear by acting uncaring in hopes they will appear more tough. then, i may be tottally wrong and it could just be that they can't comprehend our vocabulary, assume it's rubbish, and mentally downgrade us so they can continue there train of thought at IQ level 29

I'm unique, just like everyone else.

The fact that I happend to rely on logical problem solving for situations in which many people would instead rely on animal tribal instincts does not make me better or worse than them.

Of course, that isn't to say that I don't have complete and utter contempt for anyone who values tact over justice, conforming to social heirarchies above fairness or wisdom and following pointless rules over kindness. Fortunately, not all neurotypical people do this and many of those who do mean well. I have to forgive the latter for their stupidity and accept them for who they are. If I didn't, I'd be a blatant hyporicrite, saying one thing while doing another. I despise hypocrisy like nothing else! Sound familiar?

I can be one cold b%^*^ch myself at times.If someone seems really needy and draining,I have little guilt in avoiding them as a means of self preservation.When I end a relationship(usualy in the event of a last straw situation)I am done....no looking back.I am very selfish with my time and if I dont feel like talking on the phone,I wont pick it up,even if it's my sister.I dont necessarily think we should save every baby in the world,I think we should provide birthcontrol and fair business practices so that a population can support it's children.But should we provide food so that a population will grow even larger then their environment can support?I dont know.Maybe we should,but I dont just assume it,I want to know the facts first.Does that make sense?

On the other hand,I spend a lot of my money on people who dont have much,(even though I dont have much,I have enough to share.)I dont want a job exploiting people...I considered advertising because it seemed creative,but realized I would probably have to try and manipulate people into buying worth less crap they dont need,same with sales.I am afraid to go into social work or counseling because I might do something harmful or get to depressed with our countries lack of compassion for the vulnerable.

ba....didnt mean to get so long winded....just saying it is a complicated topic.