The 'look'

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This is something I've often wondered about. It generally occurs when you're introduced to a new set of people, and you get 'the look'. You know, that quick 'up down' glance, sometimes a strong stony stare and then they look away, etc. There's too many variations of it to list, but the feeling you get is exactly the same - that 'OhmiGodwhytheystaringatmelikethat?' though that's just my experience .

What I want to know is, how do you guys deal with it? Do you launch right in with anecdotes, or hang back and wait for the 'right' time to speak?

How do you deal with the 'death glare'?

I know exactly what you're talking about. The last time that happened, it was by some girls that I hadn't met before (I was being introduced). I thought they looked disgusted, but I could be wrong. Most people don't understand me at all, and so I just assume that, haha. I usually just talk and don't care, but it depends on who's around me at the time- if it's someone I'm comfortable with introducing me, it's easier to talk aloud.

I like to pretend that they didn't just give me that "look" and move on with conversation. I just ignore it, basically.

That's how I feel pretty much any time someone is looking at me. Part of why I rarely look at people's eyes.

I usually get that look from women too, almost never men. I suspect in me they see someone who is short and weird and someone who doesn't care about the same shallow things they do (I don't wear jewelery, make-up, expensive clothes etc.) and compared to them I'm a nice person. I have little to nothing in common with them and in spite of being weird and not putting the same effort into my appearance as they do I still make them look bad, so they likely see me as a threat. You might have qualities that make you more attractive than they are and they don't want you to realize it.

The look that means that were supposed to be the same but you're different and you confuse me because of it look. Never seen it.

Sometimes I get a different look - a sort of condescending, smiling, pitying look: they don't take you seriously but regard you as entertaining or something. I don't know - I cannot work it out. Reading other people's reactions (and even my own) is not my strong point. I just see that smile while they are talking to me.

Yes I know this look well. I find some people can take one look at you and cut straight through any pretense you have of trying to act normal and see straight away that you are different and they sense this difference and they don't like it, maybe they are slightly intimidated as well.

It makes me uneasy especially when they keep looking at me. Sometimes people will step closer and ask a question while at the same time they will tilt their heads to the side.

I usually stay very still but will try to smile.

Oh that look... I know it too well...

When I was younger it used to shock me, I was so eager to be liked, to be loved... and it was systematic. I used to go back home and look at the mirror wondering what is wrong with me.
Now I turned into a bitter as*hole, it's my way to cope with it.

I agree, it's mostly women. That look is really the litteral meaning of "to look down on"...

m so used to that look, it has become an informal way of introducing myself without trying to do so. Everyone does it, be it complete stranger or someone I attended school with. All I can think is whether or not they can tell I'm not "normal," and if so, to what extent and whether or not they dislike me without even meeting me. In the end, it doesn't matter unless they're your employer.

I can't look people in the face and effectively communicate at the same time, so I only kind of know what you're talking about. I've been getting it seriously from my very NT in-laws since I moved to MO. They enjoy spending time together doing empty chat uncomfortably loud for me from long since established typical relative positions. That I don't want to get drunk and make naughty puns and jokes or sit in a boat for hours fishing and can't look anyone in the face while not properly participating in their social experience makes them very uncomfortable. This seems like small rambling, but I think that inability to properly participate in a NT convention is at the core of this topic. When meeting new people, you are generally expected to take account of a person and "make nice." You are expected to smile and greet and make eye contact. I think "the look" is just a reaction to whatever people assume that making poor eye contact and weird conversation habits means.

This means that having a stock few greetings that you can throw out while smiling and making temporary eye contact can help to neutralize the look and limit how much it happens. On and off eye contact looks more like just being thoughtful after you've used eye contact to fake a NT convention.