Do you ever feel this way?

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Do you ever sometimes think that more you feel depressed or sad that the more people seem too hate you? That is just what i have experienced so far in my life that the times i would go through huge depression about something a lot of people including my family and friends would take a dislking towards me. My experience so far on this matter has made me avoid the emotion of sadness more becasue people don't respond well too me when i am in that state. In the past when i felt really upset about something like the death of someone i knew in the past i expected people too have sympathy yet they gave me the opposit treatment I have gone through loads of painful and sad times in my life yet everyone hates me.

When i am in a state of huge sadness perhaps the weaknesses in me are very obvious and people like too pray on weakness perhaps? When i feel good and mentally strong i find people give me much more respect

Is this an aspie thing or something? Perhaps when we feel sad our faces give off a completely different message too others?

I'm NT, it's not uncommon for people to get frustrated with people who are depressed, sometimes it brings them down. I find this is usually the case if you have a tendency to always be depressed, people eventually get fed up with it. It's not nice, but it happens. When I was depressed I wasn't bringing anything positive to my relationships anymore. Eventually people don't want to be the only ones giving in a relationship.
From your post it's not clear if you are often feeling that way, or if you are usually positive and people still aren't responding to you when you feel down. If it is the latter I don't think that is the normal way most people would react in a time of need, especially about something like mourning someone you cared for. In this case it is possible that they are just different, or you may be right that you may not be reflecting the emotions you think you are.

It happens to me as well, although I really don't get sad that often at all - it happens more when I get tired of socializing, or when I'm angry or just not in a good mood. I think what happens for us is that we just act in a way that aggravates others somehow, whether we realize it or not.

honestly I've been diagnosed as an aspie and my folks say otherwise but outside my family I feel the same way.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.

Cry and you cry alone.

This is the same whether you're aspie or NT.

"or you may be right that you may not be reflecting the emotions you think you are"


Well i suppouse when i am feeling sad or depressed i can feel a bit more short tempered than usual perhpas? A month ago i got very depressed about this girl who i had not seen in 10 years and in that perioud when i felt sad my brother behaved signifigantly more nastier too me than usual and not have much patience with me. As for my friends they were ruder too me then they would usually be. Like i said in times of need i expect people too be nice too me but i always get treated worse when i go through times of sadness or heartbreak and hence why i am trying too avoid being depressed.

As for not reflecting the emotions i think i am? Well i gave me brother an angry look the other day and he responded back too me by saying "why are you looking at me angry"

I do suffer from low self esteem and don't feel good about myself quite often. basically i am a really shy and insecure person who does not like too try new things.


So yes i think most likely a lot of the time i do have a dark cloud hanging over me and when that cloud gets a lot darker than usual i guess people get much more impatient with me than they would usually. esspecially if i have been crying a lot as well that really annoys people.

When I was down all the time, it seemed that nobody liked me. It seemed that some were kind anyway, or just wanted someone to hang out with and found me willing, but I think my being down all the time wore them out and that others who were less kind had no tolerance. Then my life got better, and I also got better at keeping my down feelings to myself more. Then it seemed that people responded better to my down times, especially if I'd been kind and listened to them or helped in their down times. But the big surprise is how fondly some of the people I knew before say they remember me when I meet them again. I guess they liked me after all. But I'm not sure why. So, I guess I really didn't understand them, and that, I think, is the Aspie part (if it turns out that Asperger's is really what I have). I really don't read others well, and I tend to think they're angry or don't like me unless I have reason to think otherwise. If they do like me, I have trouble figuring out why. But I do appreciate being liked, and I've learned not to pester anyone to explain a reason for it. Such questioning, I've found, is considered weird and annoying. I know I've done good things, but, to a certain extent, the mystery remains. It's not because I feel bad about myself or anything; I just don't get it.

If someone's depressed all the time, they're difficult to be around for me ... because I have my own problems but they have to be put aside, the focus is all on the depressed person. I'm not good at expressing myself and when somebody else is just problem after problem after problem, nonstop and without a break, they don't leave any room for anybody else to express themselves, its all about them. It's ok for a brief period but some people are like this for year after year after year. And I've found I often end up being the one bearing the costs of other people's weaknesses - even when they can afford those costs much better than I can.

My mom tells me people do that alot because often times they dont like seeing a loved one feel bad and not know how to make them feel better so they feel frustrated and it seems like there angry when there a bit confused too cuz they dont get the Aspie thought process. Idk if its just my family that gets frustrated because of that or if its most NT's, but i guess its cuz sometimes Aspie's get depressed over something NT's usually dont notice or something they dont think is worth feeling bad over and not really understanding that depression isnt a problem of will power.

that and the culture were raised in is one that Believes expressing any negative feelings is a sign of weakness and thus must be bad. This culture of ours doesnt like to think about the negative side of life and unfortuantly that makes people get a bit scared and confused when someone does express themselves, and sometimes it makes people think of their own problems and it brings em down

Idk man to me its like i get why they get frustrated, but why is it then that if for example, we are there and caring and such whenever they feel bad and are down why isnt that support system their for us all of sudden? But i think that was like your main question too lol for me, im always there for friends n family, always trying to cheer em up n make em feel better and givin advice about stuff, but flip the script and suddenly no one knows how to help me...I think, and have been told by some friends, its cause they feel like i have more things figured out then they do and if i cant make it better, how can they? Like if your the strong support for other people and u show weakness, they are confused cuz they thought u were stronger and dnt know how to help...at least in my experiences

Hope i could give some sorta insight :/

That's the vicious cycle of depression. Either people don't know how to deal with you or they're just annoyed by your apathy.

Another common thing is that you - especially if you're female - are expected to act happy even if you're sad. If you don't do that, it's inappropriate. Because people are not supposed to see your real feelings or your real self.

On another note... depression also makes you think that people hate you. Even if they don't. Funny...

Same here. People don't like mopers. Maybe their instincts pick up something isn't quite right and they subconsciously convert this instinct to a feeling of irritation or dislike?

This is life. Everyone has problems. And most people want to associate w/ affirming, up people. Most people don't want to hear about the problems of others. Unless they love you. Of course, these special people are expecting love in return. All relationships are emotional exchanges. Nobody wants to be a vending machine, although some people do like using vending machines. Generally speaking, people who are drawn to weak & depressed people are predators, & are to be avoided at all costs. Class dismissed.

Kinda makes you think again about therapists, doesn't it?

Seriously, though, I've found this to be true. Please be careful.

Another thing I've found, though, is how much better I can feel if the person I'm talking to really gets what I'm saying. That can stop the cycle and the seemingly endless need for attention about a difficult thing. But it's hard for things to get resolved that way if others have trouble understanding you in general, whether it's because of your issue or the way you express it. I think that all ties in with my tendency to over-explain. Also, I have trouble reading people's sympathy, so I don't always know I'm getting it. That frustrates people, too. I've had to learn to accept certain things as indicating sympathy and learn to recognize them when they happen, then go away and try to process things later, when I'm alone and it's quiet. Then I might be able to recognize and absorb some of the sympathy that was intended.

I do the same with complements. I have to deal with them later, so that I can recognize them and not feel confronted by them. But processing them after the fact has provided me with some good feelings to help me not to be so depressed all the time. It's good to know when someone likes something I've done or likes me in general. It offsets my fear that I could be doing things wrong at any moment, even if I don't know it. I learned this skill some years ago and have been working to improve it ever since.

I tend to feel like that a lot I'm afraid. As a matter of fact I feel like that right now.

Whatever I'm feeling at a given time, I tend not to be able to imagine ever feeling any other way. But I know in my head that this is not so. If I look back, I can remember having felt other ways. So, even if I feel really horribly bad, I have hard evidence that things will get better, no matter how unlikely, or even impossible, it may seem. AspieOtaku, I don't know if this helps, but hang in there.