Trouble understanding spoken language AND being understood?

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Hi,

I've always had trouble understanding people when they're talking (because of background noise, more than one person speaking simultaneously or just "because" (fatigue I guess)).
Only recently people have confessed they have a hard time understanding ME.

It appears I speak "in a very soft voice", "speak 'internally'" and/or "am hard to understand".
I've fixed the monotone problem over the years by faking inflexion and intonation, so I figured I was all set.

Turns out honest people (autism helper, therapist) are often asking me to repeat stuff or are confused because they heard something other than I'd said.
This is in perfectly silent rooms where we are just two meters apart (less than 7 feet) and no one else is talking either.

Kinda bummed out about this and the ton of misunderstandings it no doubt has caused over the years to my disadvantage...
All because NT's are apparently too polite to tell me to speak louder (or they just dont give a **** about what I'm talking about).

How is your spoken language?
Do you face the same difficulties?
If not, have you checked with *honest* people?

I'm being overly literal and thinking that everyone should answer with "sometimes". Nonverbal people could answer with "never", 'cause they never speak so they never have to have that be asked.

It's pretty often for me. I speak quiet and fast.

I had trouble with mumbling earlier, but after a short job at a telemarketing company, I sorted that out. I had to ditch alot of my dialect and also open my mouth abit more while speaking.

However, these days I find it easier to get my meaning communicated in text instead of spoken words. My tone of voice seems to always have a sarcastic/condescending tone to it, it seems (atleast based on the reactions I get) . I am always stuck trying to explain what I meant. I do try to work on it, but I really do suck at it. I often just resort to the "this is not meant as an attack on you in any way, I am just stating a fact, I do not mean to be sarcastic or condescending" statement before saying something that might be misunderstood ...but that will also backfire on me, since the subtext of a statement like that is that I do not believe they will understand what I mean, and therefore it seems condescending...

Two problems for me.

First, I speak as softly as will get the job done, and don't always gauge it right. I also talk fast. So there's that.

Second, sometimes a few words will get swapped out between my brain and my mouth, resulting in things like "Looks like the price of rain is going up". The word gasoline gets swapped out for rain or something totally unrelated. When asked to repeat it, I usually say the same jumbled message. Sometimes I'll hear what I've said, and correct it. Sometimes I don't notice, and someone else has to point out what I said. This has lead to some very embarrassing comments.

I am usually told I am too loud or too soft or that I do not speak "towards" them. Or that I talk way to fast for them to register what I am saying. I can type at about 125 words a minute on average and they say I can talk just as fast. I wonder how they measured that.