Is it normal not being able to control emotions?

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Is it normal/usual for people with an ASD (I'm not diagnosed yet) to not really be able to control their emotions? I often feel like give in to whatever emotion I feel. Do you know what I mean?

Now I feel upset for example. And it's because of a really small thing. My boyfriend and I had decided to go buy ice-cream. We were going to go by car since the nearest store is quite far away. But now two of his housemates have taken the car and driven somewhere so we can't go for ice-cream anymore. I'm angry and upset and I just want to cry and hit things. I know it's really silly. 

Is that weird? 

http://www.aspergersphere.com/2011/11/a ... hy-debate/

"In 2009, a study conducted by Henry and Kamila Markram of the Brain Mind Institute in Lausanne, Switzerland, suggested that not only do individuals on the autism spectrum have empathy, but they actually feel others’ emotions too intensely to cope. Kamila Markram states, ”There are those who say autistic people don’t feel enough. We’re saying exactly the opposite: they feel too much.”"

I've always had problems with that. My anger and frustration usually manifests itself in crying and feelings of dispair. I've been wanting to get a punching bag to f**k up when I'm upset so I don't hurt thing/one, including myself.

I hated it in school when I would get hit a lot with the ball (whatever ball was around me at the time ) and then I wouldn't be able to stop myself from welling up with tears. Balls often hit me on the head for some reason.

My emotions show on my sleeves at work, but if I really can't hold myself back and need a moment I make a beeline to the bathroom and try to compose myself. I was hiding out in the bathroom for 30 minutes at a time for a while.

I think it's normal. I didn't even know I was expected to have any control over my emotions until I read it on this forum. By that I mean controlling the feelings I feel, not controlling the feelings I express. I've seen people here that think that you can just decide how you feel. I can't.

Not really (atleast not to me), I often get very irritated when plans change, and all emotions are very easely fluxuation, althou I have learned to "kill off" the peaks it was not always so.

Hej förresten.

I'm not very good at controlling my emotions. They used to be really intense, but then my medication got adjusted and I'm a lot calmer now. I still get upset over minor things though, but that's probably just a part of my personality rather than a chemical imbalance.

I try to control them. I used to get in trouble for them in high school and when I have anxiety. My parents went through a phase of getting mad at me about them. I assume controlling them means not act on them nor express them. I just hold them in. Sometimes it's hard.

I get upset over small things too. They seem to build up and then I can't hide my emotions any more. My emotions are very intense and I'm trying to learn how to cope with them with my psychiatrist.

I'd be nervous, if I was you, showing all those emotions all the time. Your boyfriend could start resenting you for that loss of control. Just saying.

And he could resent her for hiding them, what's your point?

I also try to hide them to the point where by fiance can't figure out what I'm feeling sometimes. He's gotten better at reading me but he'll ask if something is wrong and I'll say "no" automatically.

When I do have a strong feeling coming on I try to allow myself a set period of time to go wild with expressing it, say 15 minutes (in private), and then tell myself that it's time to take a step back and figure out what triggered the thoughts that led to the feelings I was feeling so strongly. It's very difficult because a lot of the time I don't really know what the problem is, i just have a general sense of anxiety or hopelessness or sadness. If I continue feeling that emotion I try to distract myself for a bit. It takes a lot of mental energy but it feels a bit like meditating to me.

Some men can't take crying. It drives them nuts.

My last ex cried a lot. He was very sensitive. I hear that most women would think a man was a wuss or think he is weak because he cried a lot. But I never judged him for it because I had no opinion about it. I felt indifferent about it.

But yet I hear it's acceptable for women to cry so I never heard about a guy wouldn't be able to take it.

Yeah, I too have problems with change. Hence how I felt when I started this thread. Now, a few hours later, I realise how silly it is to get upset over something so small. But when I'm in those moments, I can't really help it. I don't really know how to handle it. Do you know what I mean? You said you learned how to handle it a bit, how'd you do it?

Trevligt att "träffa" en annan svensk här för övrigt!



Believe me, I get quite anxious about it. But my boyfriend knows me well and he's one of the very few who's been there throughout the whole thing. By the way, I don't cry and hit things in front of him. I want to, but I don't. I have all my meltdowns when alone. I have cried in front of him once though and he handled that well.

Me too. I used to blow up very easily until I started hte right medication. Then agian, meds aren't for everyone (and it's a very hotly debated issue in the autistic community). For some, it works to feel the emotion bu tlearn not to exrpess it (I can't do this without meds). Then again, I'm not sure whether it's an autistic trait. My current therapist thinks so, bu tmy previous doctor diagnosed an impulse control disorder because of this.

Some men can't take crying and some men actually cry.

Anyways, I used to have a very hard time handling my emotions. I've gradually gotten better over time, though I still slip from time to time. I'm a very sensitive person and it doesn't take much to make me feel hurt.