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I could use some help from this community. I have a brother who is 45 years old, and I am certain that he has Asperger's. I am a special education teacher and have worked with many children with Asperger's and autism over the years, and we also have a cousin who has been diagnosed with Asperger's. I believe that it would help him tremendously to have a diagnosis, as many resources will become available to him. He will also be able to have a much better understanding of himself and some of his life struggles, and have others to talk to who can relate.

I would greatly appreciate any advice you can give me regarding how to bring this up to him, and what reading material I can give to him to start with.

I'm not really sure when or how you could bring up the subject of Asperger's with him, but it would be a good idea to do it soon because finding out about it might be a good thing for him and a diagnosis might be even better.

I remember when I first found out about Asperger's 3 months ago, it felt good to find out why I am the way I am and though I am sure I've got it, I'm not exactly 100% sure. As soon as I can afford it, I'm going to try and get a diagnosis so I can find out for sure what I have. It might be a relief for him to know that he's not the only one who feels different than most people and that there are other people who can relate to his experiences and struggles.

I was diagnosed in my 40's. However, I had learned to adjust and deal with my own problems, etc so that I basically passed for NT. I had no idea that I was any different than anybody else and I thought everybody had the same level of difficulty that I did in dealing with and understanding normal life. So, I pushed myself.

I'm married, I have four kids. Husband and kids are all NT. I have a grandbaby. We own our house, and I am a housewife by choice, as I worked before we had children and I felt strongly that having a mother at home was important for them.

I neither need nor want services, unless one of those is a housekeeper. I do it all around here and sometimes I just get sick of it and wish to lay around in a lawn chair, tanning and drinking a frozen drink while my housekeeper does all my work inside. And brings me more frozen drinks as needed.

But that's neither here nor there. How well does this man get along in life? Is he independent? Does he need services, and if so which ones? Would it wound his pride to receive them?

My diagnosis didn't change anything for me, except it helped me understand myself a little better and find different tactics to deal with things. What exactly do you want a diagnosis to do for him? Does he have the resources to pay for a diagnosis? What would change if he had a diagnosis?

I'd strongly suggest that you print out some information on AS, then sit down and discuss it with him. Tell him "Many people have never heard of this, and many people your age have it and never got a diagnosis because it wasn't diagnosed way back then when you were little, but a lot of it sounds like you. Read it and tell me what you think. I think getting a diagnosis could help you with x and y, and you could also get help like a and b through benefits. Read it when you get time, and get back with me. Theres really no hurry"

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
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