'Just let him have what he wants'

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I was travelling on the bus the other day and overheard the conversation between two middle-aged women on the seat behind. They were talking about the adult child of one of their friends. He's got Asperger's syndrome and one woman told the other about a recent family visit to an expensive restaurant where everyone in the group ordered from the set menu...except for the young man with AS; he chose separate items, all individually priced. As a consequence his meal cost twice as much as everyone else's. The total cost was split evenly amongst everyone, so he didn't have to pay any more than anyone else.

When her friend expressed a certain amount of dismay about this, the other woman just replied with, "He's got Asperger's; that's how they are...you just have to let them have what they want."

I was appalled...but didn't say anything. I certainly don't think that someone with Asperger's syndrome should just be given what they want, although I do see it happening to a degree with people I know...it's probably easier for their parents/carers.

Any thoughts on the subject would be appreciated.

Thanks

I would be fine with letting him have what he wants, just don't split the cost evenly. That would provide education and consequence.

I think they're doing him a huge disservice but sometimes people just let us get what we want because it's easier for them than dealing with the meltdowns, the anxiety, us being all fussy and hard to be with because we didn't get what we wanted so our whole day is thrown off. No way would my parents have let this happen but as a consequence I made their lives hell lol because of my anxiety and OCD and my hormones due to being a teen.

There are food sensitivities, allergies etc for both NT and autistics. I often have had to order a la cart because I am sensitive to or just do not like foods that most people adore. Usually dinners come with items I do not like and often thry are not brought to the table seperatly and the sauces interact with the item I like so I can't just seperate them and give it to somebody else.

All that bieng said teaching cost consciousness is a good thing. I do not use my picky taste as an excuse to order the most expensive thing on the menu but stick to cheaper items like sandwiches no toppings, no extras.