I'm not sure what's wrong, any ideas?

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Basically, in the last few weeks, I've changed my routine alot and I'm not sure what happened. Basically I've stopped leaving the house except for work.

I usually can remain calm in front of people normally, but now I seem to lose it pretty easily. It's just like I'll be perfectly fine and then suddenly everything around me looks wrong and I feel like everyone is staring at me. I start watching everyone really carefully and I find it really hard to speak. I feel like I'm going to give away that I'm losing it and I start apologizing for things that don't seem to make sense. I know I have no reason to be feeling so uncomfortable or paranoid, but it's hard to calm back down. I generally don't give away to people around me I'm feeling this way. Except, they can notice that I'm looking around like I don't know where I am(but I do know, just feel like I don't) and I when I speak, I sound scared that what I'm saying is wrong. I think that because that seem to stop talking and look at me blankly, as if they can't figure out what I'm doing. If I was talking to someone, like one of the few friends I have, I will find it hard to continue the conversation. All of my answers will become really short/cut off and there will be an akward silence...

I've left really important things that I normally would do completely undone as well. For example, bills, laundry, etc. Just doing laundry seems so difficult right now... It's a shared laundry center, so maybe I don't want to risk running into anyone? When I get home I close and lock myself in my bedroom(with the computer). I haven't ever really been close to my roomate, but he's gone a week without seeing me now at times and I've been just in my room.

I don't think I've ever been this paranoid before. Is it possible to "suddenly" become more paranoid? I don't believe I've had any bad experiences to make me this way. Isn't not like I was very outgoing before, so this isn't a huge change, but to go from 20-30% of normal, to like basically 0% seems big to me. I don't even go to the grocery store anymore. I order food in, or eat out at lunch while I'm at work and don't eat dinner.... I'm not on any medications or anything right now. I had been thinking about taking provigil(as I mentioned on another thread) since I got a sample and the fact I am so tired lately from this.

To top it off, even when I'm in my room, I can hear my neibors tv playing(with subwoofer) through the wall of my apartment and while this was not pleasant before it seems almost unbearable now. Any ideas? Perhaps this is not so wierd, maybe I'm just thinking it is....not sure...

The most disconcerning thing is the "suddenness" of the paranoia.... I'll be fine and then whamm lol...

Just an idea:


Why have you changed your routine?

Is there something you want to be working that you're not doing? For me when I'm letting myself down in one way or another everything else in my life fails with it.

I think you should make as much the same as possible.

That will make you feel much better!

novawake,

is your sleep schedule and diet the same? Are you getting the same amount of exercise? Is any medication you are taking the same? Are you taking the same supplements?

I bet the answer to one or all is NO!

Steve

I haven't done anything that I know of. I never really ate much or slept to begin with. If anything I am getting more sleep now(an hour maybe? 5hrs a night instead of 4??)
I am not taking any medication... yet
I don't take vitamins, never have, but probably should.

I'm sort of wishing I could delete this thread now. Trying to figure out how to do it. I really don't like talking about myself in this way. I just figure the Aspie mind is really insightful.

I guess I want to make sure I say that I don't want any sympathy. I'm just trying to figure out if there any medications I should try or something. I have tried taking 5-hydroxy-tryptophan before to help sleep. But that isn't a medicine, it's just a supplement(Oh wait I guess that means I take supplements) I haven't taken any in weeks. And I only take it when I really am having a hard time sleeping.

Maybe there is nothing I can really do. Maybe this is how I will feel from now on.

Last edited by novawake on 22 Nov 2006, 12:46 am, edited 2 times in total.

Alright then..

You don't have my sympathy..

Better?

Anyway, I sleep 3-4 hours a night, its become my routine, and while I may cope many others couldn't.

Is there something you're constantly thinking about but not fulfilling?

The only way I get to sleep every night (by about 4 am) is by taking myself to an imaginatory place, away from my thoughts, its the only way to escape for me.

Is it possible that the AS state of mind subconsciously finds there is a degree of comfort
and familiarity in having a certain amount of anxiety,almost like 'anxiety waiting for a
cause' is a normal feeling ? I've often found that when things are going well,at the back of my mind there's a feeling that it all must be too good to be true ! If you no longer have
comfort in a familiar routine,then maybe the anxiety is taking its place.
Perhaps if you try and gradually re-introduce an element of routine that will alleviate some
of the anxious feelings. If not I would see the doctor but hopefully it's just a phase

Yeah maybe your getting over the post traumatic stress disorder most of us end up with after high school and it seems weird to not have irrational anxiety all the time so your trying to replace it with real anxiety?

Have you considered that you might be stressed?

I realise that there is a common misconception that stress can be easily dealt with, and while that is true for some, over an extended period of time it can seriously affect the quality of your life.

You've changed your routine, are actively avoiding people, and when you are socialising you feel awkward and strange, you've changed your habits annd things that you were able to deal with easily are becoming more challenging.

To me it sounds like you are having trouble coping, which extended periods of stress can do. Everything becomes huge, minor tasks that you dealt with you can no longer face, as it is a hassle and leads to more stress, after a while you basically cease to function, you get used to the feeling until don't realise how bad things are till you no longer feel that way.

I suffered from chronic stress and spent most days in bed as i couldn't face getting up (this is also be depression, so you might want to consider that as well), i wouldn't leave my house and every day i had debilitating headaches, i was asked to do dishes and would fcreak out as i couldn't cope. Things didn't improve until i had removed the cause of this stress.

The thing is, you can go on as you are, though considering your post you may not want to do that, you can hope that things just sort themselves out, or you can try to resolve it.

If what i described sounds familliar then look into, and yes, saying your stressed sounds pathetic, but it is a valid possibility.

Anyway, i hope things work out for you and you deal with whatever, or not, depending on how you feel.