After evaluating several different problems that are common in the autistic community, it seems like most (if not all) of them have to do with moderation. If there is something that the individual is unable to completely dedicate themself to, then often the individual will simply not dedicate themself to it at all. Examples:
Speech-
Neurotypicals have a moderately balanced way of speaking, both saying what is on their mind, but keeping things back at the same time. It is hard for us to communicate with them, because we don't have that kind of "filter" in which we can talk quickly, but analyze the prejudices of the people in the room at the same time. We will either offend people by speaking the truth, or come off as ret*d for speaking too slow.
Volume -
Neurotypicals speak so that they can be heard within a small range of people (usually a little bit beyond the people they are talking to, so this enables them to join in the conversation if they wish), while an autistic person will either: whisper inaudibly to the 1 person they are trying to talk to, or speak loud and obnoxiously so that everyone in the room can hear what they have to say. That is why I prefer chatting, because you get to choose exactly who hears you.
Dating-
Neurotypicals have moderate opinions on what they want in a partner, and care moderately about keeping a partner. They won't be clingy and obsessive, but they will still be sad after a break-up. An autistic person will usually consider all partners replaceable and the same, or be obsessed with just 1. Neurotypicals seem to consider their partners moderately replaceable, which doesn't make sense to an autistic person.
Living Space-
You can get in trouble for not making "proper" changes to your house, but you can also get into trouble for changing something on a house you don't own. It never occurs to me to ever try to change my physical surroundings. That is probably because there is only a certain extent to which you are allowed to change what is around you. If you don't own your property, then there are a lot of rules you have to know about before you can do any remodeling; my neighbor almost got into big trouble just for attaching a tiny toolshed to the side of his house; his landlord came and ordered him to tear it down because of some safety code BS. It makes me afraid to even think about trying to change anything if there is always the possibility of a random prejudice, but then I get in trouble for NOT changing things.
Motor Skills-
People claim we are poorly coordinated and move like puppets, but usually this is only when it isn't important to be physically alert at the moment. Although I have a lazy reputation with many people, I've observed that often when I am in a group of people walking a long distance, I will be the only person in the group who never gets tired/sore or gets any pulled muscles or sprains etc. and I will usually be mad if people want to take a rest. I've noticed that my body naturally wants to evolve to be able to handle the most stress possible when needed, but if not important, I will naturally conserve as much energy as possible (doing everything with a limp wrist)
Eye Contact-
Neurotypicals think that you aren't listening to them if you are not looking at them, but if you look at them too much then they will get offended as if you are trying to challenge them; sometimes they will get defensive and even go back and think they have to justify everything they just said, because they think you are looking at them in a challenging way. It is MUCH easier to just not look at them at all.
Self Esteem-
Neurotypicals usually have moderate amounts of self esteem regarding all aspects of life, but an autistic person will either not want to attempt something at all, or plan on mastering it completely. When I was in grade school I could do multi-digit & multi-step mathematical calculations in my head, but with the progression of harder college maths where you can use calculators, I had no desire to keep up my skills, and now I find myself making simple mistakes in my head like 46 + 9 = 57 or 35 - 11 = 26
Dependency on Others-
Neurotypicals moderately demand things from almost everybody, but autistic people usually have a select few people they depend on certain things for, and others that they will never ask anything of. This can lead to problems with managing friendships, because some people will get tired of doing you so many favors, while others will feel untrustworthy and offended that you didn't first ask them a favor and instead waited to ask somebody else.
30 Jun 2012, 2:50 am
