New here! Please Read...Self-diagnosing

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So, I'm pretty sure I have a mild form of Aspergers, and here are all of the symptoms I've observed over the years (may or may not be Aspergers, and these are random thoughts, so it might not be organized):

Social awkwardness. I cannot and hate making small talk with people. It's really a chore to think of things to say to people. I can answer questions and have learned to ask questions, but they are usually objective and it's hard for people to follow up with anything. It sometimes looks like I'm trying to hard when interacting with people, and that's because I am. But when I do talk, I smile at the wrong time or sometimes not at all, and pause at weird times, which makes people uncomfortable.

I have anxiety realted to social situations. Even when I was two, I would only play with my mom at the playground and would start crying and freaking out if she left me to play with other kids. Anytime I started a new school (preschool, kindergarten, middle school) I would cry the moment she left. She often had to sit with me for the first 30 minutes of every day. She used to have to go through the tunnels of the play structure with me at Chuck E. Cheese.

Also related, I used to be really afraid of tunnels and elevators. Anytime we had to drive through one, even as a baby, I would scream and cry.

Now, as a young adult, I still mentally shut-down sometimes. If something doesnt happen the way I plan it (or something along those lines), my mind just goes blank and I start crying in anger. Meanwhile, I'm asking myself why I'm crying and realizing how ridiculous I look, but the tears won't stop.

I couldn't sleep in my own room until I was about 10. I just hated being without my parents at night when it was dark.

I bathe when I feel like it, and usually go days without it. It's not an aversion, I just don't see it as necessary most days. However, I do like long showers sometimes. I guess I'm relatively unkempt, especially if I don't see anyone. I wear comfortable clothes, not really fashionable ones.

I'm really good with numbers. remembering them, calculating them, etc. They just make sense. It's logical. I don;t really care for things such as poetry and abstract arts. They were never really my strong subjects in school.

I;ve heard that some Aspies have a certain way of walking. I;ve been told and made fun of by some people concerning the way I walk. I guess it's not a very relaxed walk, kind of a tip-toe thing, but not exaggerated. I;m extremely clumsy. All the time. Can;t dance. Just un-coordinated in genral.

I spent hours research random, sometimes useless topics. Like browsing for apartments, looking at prices for certain locations, looking at car prices (I don't need an apartment). Conversely, I can't stay focused on my college homework for more than five minutes. I always end up browsing the web about some weird, random topic.

I think a lot of my tendencies have been fading away because, especially in my adolescent years, I tried really really hard to be like the other kids. However, I'm noticing, as I'm beginning to spend more time alone, that those tendencies are coming back. I also think that it has to do with my race (I'm black). It's not really talked about a lot in the black community.

I have one best friend, and like two other friends. But making friends has always been really hard, so I don't really go out anymore.

I get really scared about my future and being able to do things (daily tasks like paying bills, finding a good job, exercising, you know, grown-up things!)

Just curious, does this sound like asperger's? I'll post more if I think of anything. I also want to say that this site seems really awesome. THe support you guys provide for each other is really nice.

This all strikes very familar with me as I'm sure it does with others here. How is it that no professionals have caught this? If you have a family doctor or even the school counselor can open doors to helpful resources even if they themselves are not familiar with the spectrum. As far as paying bills, start out with something like a magazine subscription or your own internet, something small that costs $20 a month to get into the routine. Direct Bill Pay is a trend with many places and you can take advantage of those. The social one is always going to be tough, but as long as your financial priorities are met everything else can be dealt with or ridden out. It's much easier to have a MD in the privacy of your paid-for-the-term abode than out in front of a bunch of knuckleheads

Welcome to WP. A few questions:

1. Are you sensitive to light (as in the sunlight making your eyes water) or loud sounds (as in a balloon popping or sudden motorcycle startup)?
2. Do you have a special interest which you spend an inordinate amount of time engrossed in to the point of neglecting other things?
3. Do your social disconnect cause you problems in your personal life?
4. Do you stim? Some people tap pencils incessantly, or shake their arms or legs, twist their hair or rotate their wrists.
5. Do you look people in the eye when talking to them?
6. Do you hate sudden changes in your routines?

1. I don't think I am really sensitive to these things. I mean, I do hate balloon popping, but doesn't everyone? And if I see someone is about to pop one, I freak out even more.

2. Yes. But not one specific interest. It'll be something different every few days. Sometimes it's on astronomy, sometimes cars, sometimes its on medical topics. But when I do research these things, I spend hours doing it

3. I would definitely like more social interaction and to be near people more, but it more often than not ends up turning awkward and uncomfortable.

4. I pick at things on my body, don't know if this counts. Kinda gross, but ears, nose, nails, and dead skin mostly.

5. No, absolutely not. It's been a problem for me for as long as I can remember. Even with friends that I'm comfortable with, I just don't do it. It feels weird.

6. Well, I don;t really have a routine right now (even though I realize that I would function a lot better with one), but I just sometimes experience mental shutdowns when something I had planned or intended to happen doesn't.

Be careful not to confuse social anxiety symptoms with autism symptoms--they're two different things. Many autistic people (especially those who have little desire to interact or very poor social skills) do not have social anxiety; and many autistic people who do have social anxiety find that their autism causes much less distress and dysfunction when the social anxiety has been addressed. Social anxiety seems to be more common the milder the autism--but that's a personal observation; I haven't actually read any research on that.

You do have some autistic traits there. The non-social symptoms are especially important in your case because social anxiety can definitely cause social-skills delay. Among these are your tendency to research unusual subjects, your possible mild adaptive-skills delays, and your affinity with concrete, logical thinking.

If you go to a doctor and get a diagnosis, I think you should emphasize that you want to focus on learning useful skills--a diagnosis can be a gateway to all kinds of practical help, like help with socialization, speech/language, and independent-living skills. If you can get a career aptitude/interest type evaluation, try to get one of those; when it comes to autism, most of the time success in the workplace depends on finding a job that lets you use your talents without demanding high-level performance in the areas where you have a deficit.