Wow i really dont wanna go..

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im going to my 2nd residential-theraputic boarding school. i left my frist one june. 26 2010 after being there for almost 2 years..i have this weird feeling like im gonna go back there like im currently staying on an extended weekend pass home but that is not the case. ive left. im never going back. i have to start over again in a new point system instead of a level type system. in my new school that is...i just got my school uniform clothes today.. im crying right now just thinking about it. my day is july 9th that im going to be amitted there. im JUST getting hit by all these emotions within this day.i try not to think about it but...what can i do, not face my life? No. im facing it but its hard. i hope one day to live at home again in a healthy way.. even though my parents are divorced i still have a home there. and i love with all my heart my 3 little sisters and hope to be back in a normal schedule when i can. but for possibly the next 2 or 3 years ill be yet again, living away from home. i guess i wrote this just to let people know whats going on for me. if you read this thank you for your time to read this -from InterestingIsabella

Ive been in some places as a kid, its defintely not the most fun, especially when you get placed in a place with a lot of people and you have little control it.

It wasnt a boarding school with me, that was more like institutions, were they were trying to figure stuff out and supposed help me lol. back then in the 1995's. Then didn here no much about aspergers and such.

the best option is really just to try and go with it, and think about the future when it will all be over. What kept me going was knowing that when i hit 18 i was in control of my life suddenly, because i knew more about what i needed than those looneys that were supposed to help me,. when you arent good being with other people get stuffed into a place where you have to eat dinner with 40 other people, just isnt my idea of fun or helping.

But yeah its alot of emotions when suddenly having to move into a new place, i actually kept escaping and running hope, didn like being there one bit. but as time passe you evetually settle in somewhat, i came to tolerate being there, never enjoyed it or anything.

if there is one positive thing i got out of all the places i spend time in institutions as a kid, it was to be more depended on my self, distance my self a bit from my Mom and such, i think that was a good thing, it helped me later in life when i wanted my own apartment, which was also a quite big move. But its nice to have your own place i feel. I just feel like i dont wanna be over depended or burden my mom to much. Thats about the only good thing i got from it all, but its better than nothing.

Hopefully you have access to internet, thats a great way to be able to stay in touch with family and such, there wasnt internet many places back in the 90's, we have a phone one phone where i was, and i could call my mom like once a week :S and was only allowed to talk like 5-10min horrible. If there is internet or you have a mobile phone, which we didn really have back then either, thats also a possibly. Atleast in theory it should be way better to stay in contact with your familiy these days, if ofcourse such things are permittet.

I dont know boarding schools. but i know that in the institutions there was alot of control.because it was basically a place for trouble makers who would beat up their parents teacher or have assulted someone. From what i can read about Boarding school, it sounds like an okay place. so hopefully it will all be good.

thanks

I think loner is right. I can understand how you are feeling right now, the fear, the pain... But there is nothing you can do about it, so the best approach would be trying to make the best out of it. We can learn from every experience we live, even from the bad ones. According to my husband (he had read a lot about ocultism and religions), our main purpose in life is to learn, so we need to be constantly learning from everything in order to evolve. Maybe, as loner, this experience will teach you to be more independent and will help you to eventually have an independent life, which is what we all aspire to. I wish you the very best. Hugs.