How Can Others Help You?

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I've moved this question out from what's currently the tail end of my "ASL and Mutism in Meltdowns / Shutdowns?" thread and into its own thread, so that people will know it's here and be able to respond if they like.

If you're nonverbal or having verbal difficulty during a meltdown or shutdown and you either don't sign or you think nobody around you will understand if you do, what would be another person's best approach when they notice something's going on? In other words, what would you recommend that the general public learn to do in order to determine what the situation is?

First of all, I took first aid, so I know about making sure the scene is safe to go into before doing anything else and leaving if a situation becomes unsafe, so that a second "victim" isn't created. I think people need to know about meltdowns and shutdowns in addition to the standard things taught in first aid (recognizing shock, breathing difficulties, heart attack, heat stroke, etc.) I think people need to know that, as long as they're not in the direct path of a moving arm or object or something, which might cause unintentional contact, there probably isn't reason to fear in the case of most (though maybe not all) spectrumite's meltdowns and shutdowns, even though they might look scary or dramatic. Do others here concur?

To determine if a meltdown or shutdown is occurring in someone who can't respond easily, here's what I thought someone might say, *slowly and clearly* so as to maximize the chances of communicating effectively: "Nod 'yes' if you're on the autism spectrum." (Pause so that processing can occur and response can be generated.) "Nod 'yes' if you're having a meltdown." (Pause so that processing can occur and response can be generated.) "Nod 'yes' if you're having a shutdown." (Pause so that processing can occur and response can be generated.)

Granted, this will only work if just enough of a degree of ability to function remains, so that the responses can eventually come, and if the person on the spectrum knows that they are on it so that accurate responses can be given. The public would need to know that, too. Whenever that's the case, here's what this approach accomplishes: It establishes that the person having the meltdown or shutdown doesn't have to worry about explaining what's going on, because the person trying to help knows these terms well enough to make this approach, so that may alleviate some stress and maybe even a little bit of distrust. It makes it so that the person having the meltdown or shutdown doesn't have to come up with the right term, so the need to speak is eliminated. It prevents the need to think enough to process an either/or question, because it's a simple yes/no each time.

Thoughts?

Also, once they know, what do you think you'd need them to do (keep others away, help you find a quiet spot, or whatever)? And what would you find unsafe for you, that you wouldn't recommend they try (maybe helping you to find that quiet spot, because you're concerned that you'd be too unaware of your circumstances to be sure you weren't being led away into something dangerous, where you'd be particularly vulnerable)?

This can help those of us who are willing to "come out" about our condition, but some of us are not willing to do so. Another option would be for those of us more prone to melt downs and shut downs to carry an info card around with them. One side could be about melt downs and the other about shut downs. It should say on there what is going on and what should or should not be done by the people there around the person.

As for what not to do, in my case, don't use physical restraint. Instead, just keep people away, try to keep things quiet, and let me calm down on my own. Fortunately, I don't have full meltdowns much any more.

They can help by leaving me alone.
Any form of communication during those times will only make things worse for me.

I pretty much agree about what's been said here so far. While someone who knows me might be able to talk to me enough to safely help me find a quiet spot if I'm having some degree of shutdown, I wouldn't want to be led away - or interfered with - by a stranger or minor acquaintance. I'd be further stressed by that or by too much attention from most people I know, even friends. I also think going out of the area with someone I don't know well could be potentially dangerous to me - all the more so the more shut down I might be.

The National Austistic Society in the UK has produced an autism alert card - see link below:-

http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/services-for-people-with-autism/the-autism-alert-card/text-of-the-autism-alert-card-in-english-and-welsh.aspx

It does not appear to say anything specific about meltdowns or shutdowns and seems quite long.

I guess some of the advice given could be useful if someone is in shutdown and unable to speak but can still hear and nod, I'm not sure if it is specific enough though.

I would not like to comment more as I don't personally experience uncontrollable meltdowns and shutdowns. I've always had some degree of control...the worst I'ved done is disapear somewhere and weep so I don't think I experience what some people describe here.