Best and worst reactions to your ASD

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The only thing I ask is that if you post a negative response you've received, you also try to post a positive one.

How have people reacted to your ASD? This could be meltdowns, social quirks, special interests, etc. And the reactions could come from family, friends, folks online, etc. Anyone!

I'll start with a positive; A few weeks ago, I had an "I want to be normal" meltdown in response to constantly losing something. (always the same object, but I lose many things; I seem to have very poor short term memory) Even though my BF didn't know exactly what to do (I'm generally not outwardly emotional at all) he was a champ, and sat up with me until I stopped crying, then told me about how for the past few years, he'd gotten majorly depressed and questioned the point of life. He then told me that since we started dating, he hasn't had those feelings once, and for that, he wouldn't change who I am for the world. He told me he'd be there to help me work through the issues I have, including losing things all the time, without question.

For a negative; When I told my step-dad about my potential AS, he responded with "that's stupid. There's nothing wrong with you, you just choose to hate people and avoid them. You have a BF now, that proves there's nothing wrong" and countered everything I said with a verbose version of "quit making sh*t up" which I found immensely hurtful. I have not talked to him about it since, although he has tried to bring it up several times, no doubt to ruffle my feathers, so to speak.

From my father: "Didn't Einstein have that?" "Don't worry, yu're not crazy in the coconut."
From my mother: "See? They said, that's what they said [in this book I read], that you're 3 years younger than your chronological age!"
From my grandmother: "She'll grow out of it."
From some classmates: "Are you autistic? Mr. -- said you are. He said it means you're really smart but don't know what to do with yourself."
From my ex: "The PDD means you don't instinctively understand some things..."

While I never tell people directly, they react to my "weird" behaviour - no matter how hard I try, it surfaces sooner or later.

The negative reactions are usually phrases such as: "Pull yourself together!", "Why are you so distracted?" or "You act as if you don't care about anything." My aunt once got angry because I didn't look her in the eyes while she was talking to me... how could I possibly explain to her that I hate eye contact, that it scares me?

As for positive reactions, a lot of people have used the "you are special" cliche. But some have sincerely told me that meeting me has enriched their lives somehow. I am glad that I can make them happy

BEST: "oh, that explains everything!" (one manager at work)

WORST: "I don't think there's anything in it." (friend with Aspie traits worse than my own)

INTERMEDIATE: "Who is this Asperger anyway? Sounds like a bloody German to me." (another fellow Aspie)

On a positive note, one of my best friends came up with a rather amazing explanation for my condition: "It's like all her normal got replaced with smart, so now there's no normal--there's just smart."

Girls who I used to be friends with: ''You don't have that, you have to look a certain way to have that and you don't so stop making stuff up''.

(Compliment - I must be normal-looking. Insult - they must just take me for a weird person and nothing else).

I don't know why but that made me smile and crack-up!

"well, it can't be that bad, considering you've just been diagnosed". Going by that logic, my brain condition can't be that bad then - I was born with it and diagnosed in May. (4 days after ASD diagnosis)

A few people have said "I'm sorry to hear that" and I think a few have been more like "oh, ok" type responses.

I just wrote this in another thread but the psychiatrist I went to for my ADHD diagnosis said I couldn't possibly be Asperger's, I'm too warm. Ugh. Well I'm exuberant, at best, but certainly not warm. In fact I can't think of a term farther from describing me than warm. I'd go for intense, psychotically philosophical at times, exuberant when excited, excitable, hyper....

Best reaction so far wasn't exactly a situation but more or less "clicking" with other Aspies... though ridiculously frustrating is some other Aspie's complete lack of understanding that you're one of them. Yeah, damn ToM deficits work both ways!

Thank you all for sharing your stories ^_^ I enjoy learning the good and the bad, some of the posts have been very enlightening; very few people say anything negative about my behavior, but some of their non-verbal responses make more sense now.

Well, "warmth" is quite a blurred term, and could be considered to include any show of intense interest, even if it's only about paperclips. But he was quite wrong to draw such a firm conclusion from nothing more than the observation of such a nebulous characteristic as warmth. I often wonder if some of these shrinks got their degrees from art school, they're so unscientific.

Positive: oh, ok. I know what that is, that explains everything. (long time friend)

negative: It's just a phase, you'll grow out of it. (uncle)

Best Response #1: My best friend's father took me to Knob Creek when he learned of one of my special interests (heavy weapons) and condition.
Best Response #2: Finding out a friend has AS too after I talked to him about it.

Worst Response #1: Being called a "demon incarnate" by a fundamentalist Christian woman.
Worst Response #2: Being touched and made to look in the eyes of my grade school teachers, even though they knew of my AS.

hehe I've been called that, as well, though I suspect for very different reasons

I can very much relate to the second, though my AS wasn't known at the time. That's a tough one to deal with.

The religious woman went to a church which believed any deformity or disorder was ungodly and was the product of demonic intercourse with humans. They believed these semihuman beings couldn't go to heaven and were unworthy of life. Sounds alot like what Herr Hitler believed...

That would have been top of my "best reaction" list if it had happened to me. The fun I could have had with somebody who thought I had dangerous supernatural powers!