The wrong impression...

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Do you find that people constantly manage to get the wrong impression of you no matter what you say or do?

Examples:

I am shy and slightly socially awkward (I can get tongue tied etc when nervous) so people seem to think I am either severely mentally ill or or backwards (lacking in intelligence). Yet I can get straight A grades academically.

I mention I like arts and crafts and somehow they manage to read that I have an Art degree (did the English language change or something?)

You keep the curtains shut because you are light sensitive (depending on how bright and sunny it is) so they assume you are depressed.

You like to wear comfy clothes in the house...again they assume you are depressed.

You like to eat the same flavour ice cream each Saturday as your weekend treat because you have not found a flavour you like more...you must be obsessed right?

You don't reply to something someone says because it sounds more like a comment than a question etc and so you must be ignorant

You do reply to everything everyone says just in case you are supposed to...so now you are just one of those irritating people who must have the last word.

You mutter to yourself when you are annoyed, busy, thinking aloud....you are obviously talking to voices that are not there!

You can't find something that someone else can see...you must be doing it on purpose to annoy them!

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For gods sake...will people stop assuming things about me and slapping intentions on me I just don't have!

I don't know what other language to communicate in...I only speak English and I thought that was quite clear.

ARrrrgggghhhhh

I agree. I live alone, and have other health issues which keep me from working, so I rarely go out. I am an introverted hermit type, but am willing to say hi to the neighbors when I do go out into the yard. I also talk to people when I run errands, but my extrovert father thinks of introverts as being major depressives or mentally ill--as in nuts, so he is constantly pestering me to be more social. I am in my early 50s, and he is in his mid 80s. If I haven't become more social by now, it ain't gonna happen. In the warm months I keep the sunny side blinds tilted to keep direct sun out, but to let in some indirect light. This keeps my place from heating up as much. I usually keep the north facing living room blind tilted too, partly for privacy, and partly because I sleep in the recliner, and have an irregular sleep/wake schedule due to my health problems. Even the north side window lets in too much light to sleep by in the daytime, so I tilt the blind if I am going to sleep then. I wear comfy night shirts around the house when it's warm to help me keep less hot. I use several industrial fans, which do work good, and if needed, I will also use an ice pack, and take a cold shower. Since I live alone, I can wear what I want, but am still hassled about that by my relatives.

I am often taken for being depressed if I don't say much, and given a hard time if I do talk a lot.

I think aloud a lot--it helps me process stuff. People tend to think you are a freak if you do that. Tough. I am often lost in thought or daydreaming, so I don't always register right away when someone is talking to me. That also leads to being thought a freak, or at least, rude.

I eat what I want, and am constantly criticised by my family for what I am eating. Food is my only real vice, and I also don't have a lot of pleasantness in my life. You can live without the other vices, but not without food, so I am going to eat my way. I do try to find healthier versions of things when I can, but I will eat to suit myself. This is yet another reason I prefer to live alone! Who needs to have several family members hovering over them, criticising every bite they take? Been there most of my life, and it was a nightmare. This is also one of the reasons I don't like to visit them. At least when I am home alone, I don't have to put up with it--except through phone calls. Yes, phone calls! My father criticises what I eat when he calls me on the phone! He goes through a whole routine, questioning what foods I've been eating and have around the house, and telling me what foods I should be eating. I AM IN MY 50s!! ! I AM OLD ENOUGH TO EAT WHAT I WANT WITHOUT UNDERGOING THE THIRD DEGREE!! ! And then he complains that I don't come and see him enough and don't call him on the phone much! Well, in a few months, the weather will turn cold, and he and my step mom will go south for the winter. Is it winter yet?

Yes, all the time. I've actually had people become very angry with me because they built up what should have been a very simple exchange or misunderstanding into a major issue -- without ever asking me what I had meant or intended. The entire thing may be a figment of their own imaginations -- but, oh, don't ever tell them that! And when I try to explain and clarify the issue, I'm just being argumentative. lol.

A therapist once told me that I don't project much towards others, so they tend to project their own insecurities and/or shadow issues onto me.

I can relate to a lot of these scenarios as well, and I've come to the conclusion that all of these misunderstandings come from other people making assumptions, quickly jumping to conclusions rather than taking the time to learn the truth.

Well, if they've never known anyone who thought differently, their intuitive jumps would make sense. They don't know there is another truth to learn.

Consider dogs and cats as an example. To dogs, a wagging tale is a welcoming sign. To cats it's a sign of anger and threat. The cat sees the dog wagging its tail and the cat waves its own tail to let the dog know to keep away. The dog sees the cat "being friendly" and moves in. The cat is shouting "Stay away!" as loudly as it can in cat body language. Eventually, they connect and the cat explodes on the dog. The dog feels confused and betrayed by the cat that suddenly attacked it after all the friendly signals. The cat feel threatened by the large dog that ignored all the cat's signs for space.

Put it in a human context and each party would no doubt think the other was cruel. After all, says the dog, everyone knows a wagging tail means friendship, but the cat used it to lure me in and then attack me. The cat would have its own story as well.