what do you do when someone asks you directly if you have a
I was at my job today (sailing instructor) and we where having what would best be described as a "staff meeting". Our goal was to review how to teach people to sail. The head instructor was reading from a book and came upon a "special needs" chapter. He was amused when he read that 30% of people have a learning disorder (doubt this is true). there where five people present which would make it likely that there is someone present with a learning disorder. Two people volunteered that they had ADHD. I decided to remain silent. What do you do in a situation such as this.
I am also concerned when I go back to school. I managed to hide that I received additional time (even from my closest of friends) but I believe people noticed that I did not take the final exam in the same room they did and am certain that someone will single me out and ask me, most likely im a public audience. There is one outspoken but well intentioned person in particular that I am very concerned about. Should I just say I would prefer not to discus it? If I admit that I have asperger syndrome, I am fear that people will envision scenes from the novel the curious incident of the dog and the nighttime"
CyborgUprising
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,963
Location: auf der Fahrt durch Niemandsland
If you're comfortable disclosing it, go ahead. If not, no problem either. I seriously doubt many will even make a point of taking note of the fact that you took your exam outside the classroom (we did that with students who were late to class, did not turn in an assignment, wanted to speak to the professor about a test question without giving information to any students already taking the test and for various other reasons). I attended a private university and nobody ever thought anything of it. Trust me, if they did, you'd know (the students there tend to make it known if they have an issue with anything, from how you dress to the way you walk/talk).
People's disabilities are supposed to be private. Even when there is something visible, like being in a wheelchair, it is generally considered rude to ask them why they use a wheelchair. (I know, I do ask sometimes. But we're "not supposed to.")
So if someone asks why you take your test in another room, *THEY* have broken a social rule. If you say something like, "it's an ADA accommodation" a reasonable person will say, "oh, okay" (because they hadn't realized it was for a disability and now that they know, they realize they're breaking social rules and back off.
If someone responds, "accommodation for what?" you are perfectly within social bounds to say, "that's private information." Don't get upset or angry with them, just matter-of-factly say that it's private. If they keep pushing, say, "it's none of your business." If they *still* keep pushing, you are right to say something like, "you are being rude."
Just keep your cool and remember that you have the social and legal RIGHT to keep your health information private.
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"In the end, we decide if we're remembered for what happened to us or for what we did with it."
-- Randy K. Milholland
Avatar=WWI propaganda poster promoting victory gardens.
Once I was asked directly if I have an 'illness' (a mental one), and I thought I was free to say 'no' because ASDs are disorders, not illnesses. Anyway, I wouldn't disclose my dx to anyone if it wouldn't be my intention. You have the right to keep it private.
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Another non-English speaking - DX'd at age 38
"Aut viam inveniam aut faciam." (Hannibal) - Latin for "I'll either find a way or make one."
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