CockneyRebel wrote:
There are some days that I get depressed when I'm at work during the coffee break, because of this one guy who's a year older than me who doesn't care to take the time to understand and accept me as I am. I feel that I have to censor myself, because that guy is one of my NT peers and I've been afraid to talk about The Kinks on the days that he's been working the same 2 hour shifts that I do, and our coffee breaks only last 30-40 minutes. I was given a heads up by my supervisor not to mention anything about my said special interest when he's around and now I've been afraid of that guy ever since and the fact that he attacked me on account of my special interest even though I've only said one or two sentences about it to that relentlessly normal NT on two different occasions has made me clam up around him, that much more. He's only going to be with the company for 12 more days and I'm probably only going to be working with him twice over those 12 days.
I know how that is...I tend to get mute when I cant talk about my interests...which is art and autism awareness.
I hope things getter better after that dude leaves...maybe his issue with the kinks is personal...maybe his wife left him while he was listening to a kink song...you never know what experiences people have that make them act the way they do.
It kinda does sound like a personal thing though.
After he's gone, I'll still be working on my small talk, but I'll be able to feel comfortable talking about my said special interest again. And my mum wonders why I hated high school. I was warned not to talk about my special interests when I was starting Grade 9, saying that once those kids found out what I liked, they will start bugging me about it and that made me clam right up around my peers and I was mute around them until I was just finishing Grade 11.
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All art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story; to vomit the anguish up.
-James Baldwin