Eye Contact Issues

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When I was young, I had problems with looking people in their eyes. With time and practice, I have become able to consistently hold direct eye contact with conversation partners.

However, lately I've had authority figures interpret my eye contact as "mocking," and sometimes kids my age seem slightly unsettled by it.

How do I know when there's too much eye contact? I don't mean to come off as aggressive.

I wouldn't be able to answer this for sure because I have a technique that works for me that avoids eye contact, however I'd think that you feeling uncomfortable would be a sign of 'too intense' eye contact', if that makes any sense to you...I hope this helped.

I count to two, then look away, repeat.
I used to get an anger response when people who try and make me look them in the eye. So, I had to learn to look at them and satisfy that socialized behavior need they have. I time it and make a pattern out of it while they talk.

So look away at timed intervals? I suppose that makes sense, but I've also had people get angry at me for looking away (such as teachers). But even then such desires seem inconsistent in the same people or in similar situations. Are there any good articles on NT eye contact patterns out there?

I've made a habit to look away approximately every 5 seconds, in order to appear 'normal'.

I can't look at people in the eyes, if anything at their face either. It feels so strange and uncomfortable for me. I am always looking away when I talk.

Try looking at the outer corner of one eye. This makes it look as if you are making eye contact, at least somewhat.

I look somewhere between their upper lip and the middle part of their nose; this works with people sitting down and at average height level, although not so much with taller people.

Try focusing on their nose or mouth. That's what I do. It seems to work. No one has ever commented on it.

Yeah, timed intervals. Whatever works for you. I use 2 sec's as a guideline, not a hard and fast rule.

There's no pleasing some people. So, just do the best you can in making an effort.

You can also look at the eyebrows and get a similar response. But, not if you feel the need to stare at eyebrows, lol.

...the same with me.

Thanks, this helps.

I try not to look at any one spot for too long. I look at one eye, then the other, then the mouth, then repeat. If I look at some other point on their face and linger too long it seems to make them self-conscious. They think they have something on their face, etc. Looking away occasionally is probably okay, but you shouldn't do any of it in too much of a pattern.

It is a bother. I realized long ago that when I focus on eye contact I don't pay much attention to what the other person is saying. It is ironic because they think I'm not listening if I'm not looking them in the eye.

Keep in mind that a lot of people still think eye movement can be a measure of whether or not a person is being truthful. Here is some news about a recent study that indicates eye movement isn't a valid measure of honesty:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-205_162-57471114/eyes-and-lies-new-study-debunks-connection-of-eye-movement-and-dishonesty/

I'll try both these suggestions out, thanks.

Males also tend to use eye contact for establishing dominance or submissiveness to the other guy.
Staring too long, with some men, can start a dominance issue you won't grasp. If you keep looking away, you'll establish that you're submissive.
I figured this out in the motorcycling and military communities. Watch someone who is bigger (like a high school bully or office bully) and notice how he keeps eye contact with physically smaller or submissive peers or younger men.
So, there's that to be aware of with men.
With women it can be a way of displaying sexual interest. So, be aware of that too.